Has anyone here been "wrong" about their TF?

[scoobawater]

I don't post often so there isn't much of my story on here, but in general, has anyone here been wrong about their TF? I'm going thru some crazy emotions today (time of the month and perhaps 121212) and was given a HUGE dose of reality from He-who-I-believe-is-my-TF ...basically that he doesn't feel the same way I do, and that he really does not want the same things as me, namely a relationship (the direction in which I thought we were finally heading).

And although this was always a possibility for us (as with all relationships, as they are all voluntary), for some reason this news has made me question EVERYTHING. Every revelation I've had as a result of this connection, my faith in the universe, my faith in love, my belief in magic, all the advice and insightful words I've given others all stemming from this supposed "love" I feel with and from my TF connection -- EVERYTHING. I feel like its all been a lie. And I feel so lost. And deluded. Like I fooled myself into believing something that was simply not true. Because if HE is a lie... I feel everything else is too. Even the love I've convinced myself was so real.

I'm not asking for wise words for whether he'll come back later on down the road when things are right, necessarily. I guess I'm wondering how you cope when the new awesome world you were living in starts crumbling down around you because the person who was the catalyst is not who you thought they were to you. That maybe you made it all up in your head.

[scoobawater]

I also want to add that this love I felt was the ONE thing in my life I was certain about, which makes all this so much harder. And was the root of my newfound view of the world which is all crashing down around me. Domino effect, you can say.

I wish it weren't so hard for you now, and truly hope you feel better- optimistic and loved and divinely-guided - soon.
It's simply common misdirection IMO, that we think that feeling of love comes from another, our twin or soul mate, when the experience was (at least partly?) just to feel divine love, and then to learn of its true source which is the same whether it is coming thru your Higher Self, your own soul (have you read about this "merging w/your own soul" idea?), your Angels, all are pathways connected to God.

It is my belief that yes they can "really" be your twin even when they don't think so (as discussed on another thread), but I define "real twin" a bit more loosely as one you are having the twinlike experience with or triggered by, with no conculsions on whether it can happen again, but acknowledging that the experience is real, distinct, life-altering, empirically-validated enough to warrant the label of the twin flame experience.

Originally Posted by scoobawater

I don't post often so there isn't much of my story on here, but in general, has anyone here been wrong about their TF? I'm going thru some crazy emotions today (time of the month and perhaps 121212) and was given a HUGE dose of reality from He-who-I-believe-is-my-TF ...basically that he doesn't feel the same way I do, and that he really does not want the same things as me, namely a relationship (the direction in which I thought we were finally heading).

And although this was always a possibility for us (as with all relationships, as they are all voluntary), for some reason this news has made me question EVERYTHING. Every revelation I've had as a result of this connection, my faith in the universe, my faith in love, my belief in magic, all the advice and insightful words I've given others all stemming from this supposed "love" I feel with and from my TF connection -- EVERYTHING. I feel like its all been a lie. And I feel so lost. And deluded. Like I fooled myself into believing something that was simply not true. Because if HE is a lie... I feel everything else is too. Even the love I've convinced myself was so real.

I'm not asking for wise words for whether he'll come back later on down the road when things are right, necessarily. I guess I'm wondering how you cope when the new awesome world you were living in starts crumbling down around you because the person who was the catalyst is not who you thought they were to you. That maybe you made it all up in your head.

Many people with a TF that are in a separation phase or not intended to be together in this lifetime will doubt the connection from time to time especially early on in the process. Your ego will take every opportunity possible to try and point out that you were wrong and that you were stupid to believe in this connection because it didn't produce the results you wanted when you wanted them. If you are familiar with "dark night of the soul" many of us have more than one of them. We have our initial one around the time of our awakening and than another once after we discover the twin flame concept, do the inner work than discover this other person still wants nothing to do with us or they are still involved with another partner and therefore unavailable. This causes us to doubt our connection, faith and everything we gained through this discovery. It sound to me like you fall into this category. What will happen in time is either the connection will dissapear meaning you were mistaken or met a near twin which is very similar energetically or time will go on and the connection will never fade causing you to reevaluate this concept over and over again. For those that just met their TF or are still in contact with them my heart really goes out to you since that is the time when its the hardest to know for sure. What sealed the deal for me was years of no contact yet the feelings/signs/sync never going away.

[Jatd]

Wow, Boy do I know this feeling. Everything I know now, hinged on what I experienced with him, my tf.

But here is the thing I have realized. We are all one. One in the same. Unity. We come from the same "Source" ... it was just through the love that we shared and through his eyes that I came to realize this.
He doesn't want to be with me, but that does NOT mean that any of those things we felt in those moments were any less real.

I guess what I am trying to say is, what you felt was real. It was very real. Don't ever doubt that. What you know deep inside of you, is real. Don't let the world wash that away with cloudiness. You know.
Just because he doesn't want the same things as you do now, doesn't mean it was any less real THEN.

((hugs))

I have to agree....I have reached a point of acceptance and also appreciation that I was gifted with such an incredible connection....I am using our love as my muse, my inspiration and my rock....in the journey ahead. I heard from him yesterday after over 2 months of no contact....he just said I'm with him always, he loves me and misses me every single day....in the past I would have clung to that, needed more and attached myself to all of what those words could mean - now I just accept it as a gift of truth...to know our love survives physical separation is a gift in itself :) I trust that when it is our time, we will be together once again as we will be guided so just as we were to meet in the first place. It empowers me to keep going on my own journey....to radiance :)

[Element 5]

What you are going through happens to many, if not most, of us. There are cycles of doubt, lack of reciprocation, fear, running, believing again, anger, and on and on. Never let what you thought was real convince you of anything about what you have faith in. Sometimes we perceive things in a way that doesn't turn out to be what we thought it would. It doesn't mean we were wrong, it just means weren't clear on the purpose of things in that moment. In other words, don't think that because of this that you've been shown that the answer is NO, it simply means it's not what you thought it was supposed to be right now. Be patient and above all listen to your intuition. If you pay attention and ask for clarity...as long as you are open to it, the truth will come to you. Confusion about any one thing makes it harder to deal with than discovering a truth we were wrong about. Otherwise you feel like you're stumbling around in the dark. And as for him, in your heart did you believe that he meant what he said? If you did, he probably isn't a twin soul, but that does NOT mean he isn't a catalyst for you.

I hope things work out for you, I know how upsetting things like this can be.

Originally Posted by scoobawater

I don't post often so there isn't much of my story on here, but in general, has anyone here been wrong about their TF? I'm going thru some crazy emotions today (time of the month and perhaps 121212) and was given a HUGE dose of reality from He-who-I-believe-is-my-TF ...basically that he doesn't feel the same way I do, and that he really does not want the same things as me, namely a relationship (the direction in which I thought we were finally heading).

And although this was always a possibility for us (as with all relationships, as they are all voluntary), for some reason this news has made me question EVERYTHING. Every revelation I've had as a result of this connection, my faith in the universe, my faith in love, my belief in magic, all the advice and insightful words I've given others all stemming from this supposed "love" I feel with and from my TF connection -- EVERYTHING. I feel like its all been a lie. And I feel so lost. And deluded. Like I fooled myself into believing something that was simply not true. Because if HE is a lie... I feel everything else is too. Even the love I've convinced myself was so real.

I'm not asking for wise words for whether he'll come back later on down the road when things are right, necessarily. I guess I'm wondering how you cope when the new awesome world you were living in starts crumbling down around you because the person who was the catalyst is not who you thought they were to you. That maybe you made it all up in your head.

Now the real work begins. You were in love with an illusion. You were in love with the story you created in your mind. You thought if only my belief and faith is strong enough, if only I do XYZ, he'll be mine. Your love was grounded in expectations.

And now is the time to question how you have been defining "love."

Love is seeing someone for who they truly are. We can't do that when our mind creates fantasies and story lines, clings to beliefs, tries to control outcomes, and lives in the future of hope wishes and dreams.

Now you see him with clarity. You might not like what you see, but now you truly are loving him because you are seeing him. Before you were not actually loving him, just the illusion of him, and how that illusion made you feel.

We grow through disillusionment. And in that way, he's still a catalyst for you, isn't he?

yup i was in love with the idea of a TF and the illusion i created around it. i wasn't eating right, i was smoking heavily and drinking alot and i was depressed constantly. that is not what love is supposed to feel like.

Originally Posted by SerpentQueen

Now the real work begins. You were in love with an illusion. You were in love with the story you created in your mind. You thought if only my belief and faith is strong enough, if only I do XYZ, he'll be mine. Your love was grounded in expectations.

And now is the time to question how you have been defining "love."

Love is seeing someone for who they truly are. We can't do that when our mind creates fantasies and story lines, clings to beliefs, tries to control outcomes, and lives in the future of hope wishes and dreams.

Now you see him with clarity. You might not like what you see, but now you truly are loving him because you are seeing him. Before you were not actually loving him, just the illusion of him, and how that illusion made you feel.

We grow through disillusionment. And in that way, he's still a catalyst for you, isn't he?

This is really bloody good - it resonates, I had an aha moment some weeks ago now where I grieved the dream....the illusion of what I had created in my own head as to how it should have been....that dream is gone....infact it never was lol