I Finally Did It! (I hope he will call?)

Originally Posted by Rin

If I ever have to build a new relationship I would say something like "I like you. I'd like to get to know you better. If you feel the same, and if you are not in a relationship, I'd like to invite you to coffee, my treat, at a time convenient to you. If we get along well, and we both feel that we want to continue seeing each other we can do so. If we don't want to continue I shall revert our relationship to a professional basis as far as work is concerned, and treat you with the respect you deserve as a person and as a co-worker (manager, or whatever).:

You being gay, might add, "BTW I am gay, I'd like to mention this so that you know my position."

"Think about it and let me know. A simple yes or no is good enough, no long explanation necessary"
*smile* and exit.

Edit: Ahh yes, when you do that make sure that you speak from the same eye-to eye level or lower. No, you don't have to go onto your knees but avoid a situation where you are in a dominant position, e.g. you standing and he sitting, because that will bring up his defenses.

Thanks for the advice. And it's not that I want to play games with him or deceive him, because I wouldn't want anyone doing such to me. I have been trying to figure out how I can keep it simple...because I often over-think things. but if I don't over-think things I usually over-simplify. So it's not easy for me to find the balance. I'm honestly just afraid of him rejecting me, of course. And I also don't want to make an uncomfortable work environment for him. But the advice you just gave I feel is good advise.

But do you think it would be a good idea to send this message via phone text? I don't think I could say this to him face to face as I would be too nervous and clumsy (which would probably be a turn-off by itself).

Originally Posted by Fire7

But do you think it would be a good idea to send this message via phone text? I don't think I could say this to him face to face as I would be too nervous and clumsy (which would probably be a turn-off by itself).

Text message? Absolutely not!

Simply preface what you say with that you are nervous and may sound clumsy. People make allowances for such things. It will tell him that you are honest and open and that what you are going to say is important to you. If he is a good person he will take that into account in his response.

[twinkle]

I think it is more shyness than game playing here. It takes a lot of guts to tell someone you like them. Personally, I think it is best to get to know someone before you reveal your feelings. It could be because mediums told me to act as friend more in beginning with someone who was afraid of commitment with anyone (due to a commitment gone bad he had with someone) or he would run away. Sometimes, you need to take it slow. I guess it depends on the person.

Originally Posted by twinkle

I think it is more shyness than game playing here. It takes a lot of guts to tell someone you like them. Personally, I think it is best to get to know someone before you reveal your feelings. It could be because mediums told me to act as friend more in beginning with someone who was afraid of commitment with anyone (due to a commitment gone bad he had with someone) or he would run away. Sometimes, you need to take it slow. I guess it depends on the person.

Yea, I was told the exact same things (by a medium) regarding this situation.

I'm honestly just afraid of him rejecting me, of course. And I also don't want to make an uncomfortable work environment for him.

yo Fire, can I suggest different approach?
You already did everything you could, and should, so follow basic steps.
Pull back. If he feels the same way about you, it is his turn . If he does nothing,
well, you will forget him .You don't need relationship based on chasing ...
Think about yourself and how uncomfortable it could be for yourself to work there if you tell him more than he should know. You don't need wimps , you need someone who will fight for you as well.

Originally Posted by Rin

Text message? Absolutely not!

Simply preface what you say with that you are nervous and may sound clumsy. People make allowances for such things. It will tell him that you are honest and open and that what you are going to say is important to you. If he is a good person he will take that into account in his response.

So, I should do this outside of the work-place, right? I would almost have to do this on a date, because I never see him outside of work. He doesn't get out much and neither do I. He's also not from here. So it's like I would have to set this up because 9 times out of 10 we would never run into each other.

I was so tempted to tell him about my feelings about a week ago, because I wanted to just get it out of the way. But I felt like it just would have been inappropriate. We're still basically strangers. I want to tell him so badly but I don't want to move too fast or he would probably see such a swift move as impatience or desperation. And that alone would say a lot about me---and probably not good things.

[twinkle]

Originally Posted by Fire7

Yea, I was told the exact same things (by a medium) regarding this situation.

You wrote this is just a temporary job or you will not be working there much longer. If you ask him out, why don't you wait until after you leave? Although you already gave him your phone number, you should ask him for his phone number before you leave. I do not know if he is a supervisor since his dad is the manager of the company? If so, he could get in trouble for dating an employee. But it will not matter once you leave the company.

I am doubting whether to trust what a medium says about love even it it comes from a highly reputable medium. One medium told me she saw our relationship evolving quickly and him wanting to get closer after I distanced myself from him acting no more than a friend, but another medium told me he is not the one for me and his career comes first so he does not have time for just one woman. One implied that he is with a new woman every night, but the other implied he is not like that since he was cheated on and does not want to hurt anyone like that. So, I guess you have to try to follow your intuition and do what feels right to you.

Originally Posted by Fire7

So, I should do this outside of the work-place, right? I would almost have to do this on a date, because I never see him outside of work. He doesn't get out much and neither do I. He's also not from here. So it's like I would have to set this up because 9 times out of 10 we would never run into each other.

I was so tempted to tell him about my feelings about a week ago, because I wanted to just get it out of the way. But I felt like it just would have been inappropriate. We're still basically strangers. I want to tell him so badly but I don't want to move too fast or he would probably see such a swift move as impatience or desperation. And that alone would say a lot about me---and probably not good things.

I give up. All this worrying about this way or that way, move fast or slow, and what he might think sounds to me like a badly written soap opera.

Get it over with and move on. If he is not interested I am sure there are other fish in the pond.

[twinkle]

Okay, do you have his phone number? How about calling him? He is responsive to you in a positive way so you do not need to worry that the call will bother him.

Originally Posted by twinkle

Okay, do you have his phone number? How about calling him? He is responsive to you in a positive way so you do not need to worry that the call will bother him.

Yes, I got his phone number that day we rode to McDonald's... I guess I'm waiting to interact with him a little more in person before I call him, so I would know what to talk about over the phone.