I am almost ruined for volunteering. What can I do?

[Flexi-Girl]

Over the years, my experiences with volunteering have caused me to feel jaded. I am really trying to change that, or find some kind of understanding because I really love helping others. So I could really use some guidance here.

Basically it seems the majority of times I have volunteered for what I thought was a good cause, I feel I have been treated badly and I don't know why that is. I have a business and I am successful mostly and seldom have been treated badly by my clients. Also when I worked for other people in corporate jobs, I have always left with promotions, and high regard.

And when it comes to volunteering, I try to bring the same work ethic and attitude that I do elsewhere. But in my experience with volunteering, I have had negative outcomes. It seems most volunteer organizations seem less appreciative, and unkind for the things I have done.

I don't expect to be treated like royalty but often I have been treated like garbage. It doesn't make sense. I am cooperative, efficient, hardworking, and smart. Yet even when I do show it, I get treated like dirt. I feel I am treated like a braty teenager. In all honesty I really don't think I am doing wrong. I really think this is the mentality of charity organizations.

The one thing I can say I love about volunteering is seeing I am making a positive difference in the lives of those I am serving. My last volunteer job was in an animal shelter. The cats and dogs that were there really loved me, especially the ones that were normally afraid of humans. On the other hand, some of the humans there were so unkind. The volunteer coordinator was so awful. I felt like she was very unprofessional and cold hearted. She would sabotage me, and confront me for things I did wrong even though I never got the proper orientation. I am not sure I can ever volunteer again because of her. She had the power to hurt me and she did. It wasn't just that. It's like people who run these organizations are so bitter and unhappy it makes me wonder why they stay.

Yes being charitable is nice, but I also need the human connection. I want to be in an atmosphere that isn't about business even though charities are a kind of business. I also wanted to be with fellow volunteers who were kind to each other but even then it felt like everyone was so cold.

Is it me or is this how it is in the volunteer community? Where is that love and human connection I have heard so much about?

[Silver]

Well, Flexi-Girl, I intuit (maybe accurate maybe not?) that your enthusiasm and talents make them jealous. Your intelligence is probably higher than theirs and makes them feel inadequate, although they would probably never let on like, at all.

I say that the one really negative experience (even though other negatives happened), has almost turned you off to the whole volunteering thing. I say just let it be one super-negative experience and move on to other types of volunteer gigs. Even if it happens some more, realize it's not something you want to let get in your way of the joy of volunteering and helping others.

[Snow Goose]

This is something I have also experienced flexi. You need to be careful of which volunteer organisations you become involved in, most seem to have a predetermined path so if you come in with new ideas they aren't very welcome.

Have you thought of starting your own charity or social enterprise in association with your own business?

I now work for a charity after being bitten in the past and in all honesty I'm in a pretty good place, it's a very small organisation which has been going over 20 years where the founders are very much still involved. These kind of places are very few and far between.

The last organisation I was involved with didn't go so well I ended up walking out, this charity closed a couple of months later, was very badly managed, this was a real shame as it was an amazing concept.

[Flexi-Girl]

Originally Posted by Silver

Well, Flexi-Girl, I intuit (maybe accurate maybe not?) that your enthusiasm and talents make them jealous. Your intelligence is probably higher than theirs and makes them feel inadequate, although they would probably never let on like, at all.

I say that the one really negative experience (even though other negatives happened), has almost turned you off to the whole volunteering thing. I say just let it be one super-negative experience and move on to other types of volunteer gigs. Even if it happens some more, realize it's not something you want to let get in your way of the joy of volunteering and helping others.

It could be due to jealousy, and wondered about this. The idea that anyone would have reason to be jealous doesn't make sense to me. The fact that I do volunteer work is to make myself feel better. Bringing others down never feels good for long.

[Flexi-Girl]

Originally Posted by Snow Goose

This is something I have also experienced flexi. You need to be careful of which volunteer organisations you become involved in, most seem to have a predetermined path so if you come in with new ideas they aren't very welcome.

You're definitely right about that. I can understand them wanting to stay true to their vision. Charities need to keep a tight ship.

Originally Posted by Snow Goose

Have you thought of starting your own charity or social enterprise in association with your own business?

This is something I will give more thought to. It's figuring out what is needed, what I can do. So I haven't ruled that out as possibility. In the meantime.

Originally Posted by Snow Goose

I now work for a charity after being bitten in the past and in all honesty I'm in a pretty good place, it's a very small organisation which has been going over 20 years where the founders are very much still involved. These kind of places are very few and far between.

The last organisation I was involved with didn't go so well I ended up walking out, this charity closed a couple of months later, was very badly managed, this was a real shame as it was an amazing concept.

I am glad you found what works for you. I would love to find an organization that works for me. I just want to feel all those good feelings that people say about volunteer work.

[Snow Goose]

If you want it enough you will find it or if it doesn't exist you will create it ;-)

I wish you well!

[Silver]

Originally Posted by Flexi-Girl

It could be due to jealousy, and wondered about this. The idea that anyone would have reason to be jealous doesn't make sense to me. The fact that I do volunteer work is to make myself feel better. Bringing others down never feels good for long.

Of course, it doesn't feel good to bring others down - for you and others like you. The cranky people you work with in the volunteer groups obviously feel just the opposite. We're all human, and have a bunch of negative emotions and rationalizations to bolster our opinions on things.

You said, "The fact that I do volunteer work is to make myself feel better."
That's all well and good, and there's no doubt you want the people you help to feel better, too, but you innocently and spontaneously declared you do volunteer stuff to make yourself feel better. So maybe the answer is to be more aware of your own motivations for doing it...maybe it's your own lack of self-esteem that drives you. Nothing wrong with that - we are all only human!

Now, if you think I'm way off course, that's okay. I myself love to give feedback on the forum - hoping that I'll help someone, but I have to admit, I like the attention. Especially when I hit the target and someone is showing their appreciation. It's my ego that feels a bit grazed when someone doesn't respond or says something negative and I have to deal with my own ego.

[Flexi-Girl]

Originally Posted by Silver

Of course, it doesn't feel good to bring others down - for you and others like you. The cranky people you work with in the volunteer groups obviously feel just the opposite. We're all human, and have a bunch of negative emotions and rationalizations to bolster our opinions on things.

You said, "The fact that I do volunteer work is to make myself feel better."
That's all well and good, and there's no doubt you want the people you help to feel better, too, but you innocently and spontaneously declared you do volunteer stuff to make yourself feel better. So maybe the answer is to be more aware of your own motivations for doing it...maybe it's your own lack of self-esteem that drives you. Nothing wrong with that - we are all only human!

Now, if you think I'm way off course, that's okay. I myself love to give feedback on the forum - hoping that I'll help someone, but I have to admit, I like the attention. Especially when I hit the target and someone is showing their appreciation. It's my ego that feels a bit grazed when someone doesn't respond or says something negative and I have to deal with my own ego.

I understand how you feel. It does feel nice to be appreciated and I appreciate your insight Thanks for that.

My self esteem has suffered from being treated badly. I want to feel bright eyed like I did before but more than that I want to feel connected with others for wonderful cause. There is nothing in the world that feels so good.

[gemma]

Sometimes its just feeling good inside yourself and knowing you did a good deed for the greater good..who cares about the mean people. I look at the big picture, I do this for others and put it out there to help whoever it can. Hopefully I leave it a little better because of what I did, whether I help animals, work with the school board, pick up trash on the beach, or pull weeds at the nature center. Its all good.

[Flexi-Girl]

Originally Posted by gemma

Sometimes its just feeling good inside yourself and knowing you did a good deed for the greater good..who cares about the mean people. I look at the big picture, I do this for others and put it out there to help whoever it can. Hopefully I leave it a little better because of what I did, whether I help animals, work with the school board, pick up trash on the beach, or pull weeds at the nature center. Its all good.

That's so true. Thank you for the reminding me of that.

I just wish I were better at dealing with people like that. I don't ever want anyone to make me to feel that way ever again.