Don't even know what I am!

[TonySG]

Like the title says I have no idea who or what I am. Ever since a child I've always felt different. Never fitted in as much as I tried. Still don't. I have been through many healing modalities over the last five years but every single one just makes me even weirder. So I have had to come to the conclusion that I am just different. I used to blame my past alot but I have gone through and healed almost all of it.

My biggest issue is people and relationships. However, having been trying to fit in for many years it has made me good at certain things. I am actually a great communicator. I am very confident. Even though I am unable to build relationships. Nothing phases me. I work in a high end sales role where I just don't fit in with any colleagues. But, I can connect with my clients/customers from a different perspective and they love me. Its so messed up. I am unable to be 'social' but i am great at my job. I just doesn't fit within a traditional sales job.

I think I am a 'lightworker' whatever that means. I feel I have an ability to sense emotions and energy. My own and others. Which is probably one of the reasons I am good at selling.

I workout a lot. I do alot of strength training and it just makes my energy boom. I can feel it makes other uncomfortable around me. As much as I have tried over the years to not even think about it. I think I am strong but very sensitive at the same time. I dress extremely well and take pride in my appearance. I feel the opposite sex finds me very attractive but I haven't had a girlfriend in over 10 years.

I just wanted to share this. I have met quite a few spiritual healers and people over the last 5 years but none of them really get me. I think I am just trying to connect with other weirdos. I don't know what my purpose is here to be honest.

Sorry for the rant but I am just getting to the point where I am starting to accept who I am. I am trying to embrace it.

I think I have some energetic abilities and it looks like something I need to work on. That is all. Love to hear similar stories.