Why do people get married..

[alexa_summer]

I remember a few years ago before I ever got into spirituality or discovered my own awakening that I was all about getting a college degree, finding a good job all in purpose of getting married, having children and a perfect home, a perfect life. I used to be obsessed with wedding planning & I wasn't (& still am not) even engaged, I just thought it was fun to do at the time. I am in a 6 year, happy, and on-going relationship and we are at the point in our lives where we are finishing up school and getting all of our eggs in one basket to move forward in our lives together. After I have developed more spiritually though, I have found that my wants and desires that I have had before have changed completely and dissapated..I am no longer worried about getting married some day or even having children anymore (which is something I have always really wanted for myself) I am just living my life day-to-day & finding new ways to feel content & just "be".

Lately I have been asking myself, "what is the point of getting married"? Marriage to me, just seems like some kind of label, & excuse to claim your spouse's property & just some kind of control mechanism that distracts us from being essentially happy..We spend so much money on a ceremony & follow specific traditions on the process & purpose of being engaged. Why can't people just be together & be happy devoting themselves to one-another without signing your own life away in the process? I feel like marriage just complicates things & makes people feel obligated to carry on this tradition that will essentially only stress them out through out their lives. It almost seems like "oh since I'm married now, I guess I need to get on the bandwagon & have kids & tend to every want & desire my spouse needs & get a big house & go into debt, become depressed & lonely & get fat & have a mid-life crisis because my husband is no longer attracted to me.." & everyone dies alone anyway, so what is the overall point? Does every person HAVE to have a soul-mate? I know it is all about finding the right one to make it work, but people make mistakes & discover later on they no longer feel connected to that person & then will have to go through divorce, figure out what to do about their children, house, etc. Marriage ties people down. Why do human beings need companionship in order to survive? I'm not saying this applies to everyone. Just want to know what your thoughts are! :)

[psychoslice]

Just conditioning, culture, religion I would say, its really just a legal contract to hold together two people, to me personally it would be a prison sentence lol.

I am glad that you brought this question up. I am twenty- eight years old and I have been thinking about kids and marriage. It seems that if you don't follow the American way then you are lost. Lately, I been attracting or attracted to married men. Being conscious it had me go within to ponder what do I need to go within a heal. It also raised a question are we truly meant to be with one person. I know that everything is energy and I do believe that you naturally vibe with more than one person. To condition people to think that you can only love one person is insane. I am still releasing beliefs that have been instilled in me. For so long feel guilty for being attracted to kindred souls. No matter if they are married. I believe that is why our divorce rate is high. So many people are having affairs. I think that this issue is derive from a spiritual level. A legal document can't stop chemistry. I wonder if it was even meant for us to be married to one person. So much learned control and jealousy that we all need to be healed from. I have been meeting couples that are more open in their relationship. I think some people are waking up and being true to their desires. Those that are not afraid of going against society. It takes a strong mind to be an independent thinker like yourself. I am now beginning to question the type of relationship that I want. I am really asking myself do I want kids or not. Part of me does and then another part of me enjoys the freedom. I have so many women that I know that are stressed and depressed because they are thirty with no kids and husband. It makes you wonder is it what they truly want or conditioned. It makes me ponder. It takes a wise soul to think about life they way you see it. I think it great that you take life daily. It keeps the spontaneity in your life, something that we have lost due to control.

[astralsuzy]

Originally Posted by alexa_summer

"what is the point of getting married"? Marriage to me, just seems like some kind of label, & excuse to claim your spouse's property & just some kind of control mechanism that distracts us from being essentially happy..get a big house & go into debt, become depressed & lonely & get fat & have a mid-life crisis because my husband is no longer attracted to me.." & everyone dies alone anyway, so what is the overall point?:

You could say what is the point with anything in life. It is how you make it, is what you get out of it. If you think it will be depressing then it probably will be. If you think it will be really good, then it is likely to be. Of course, everything in life has its ups and downs. Not everything is going to go well all the time. There is no difference in getting married or living together except you have a marriage certificate. If you live together, your partner can take your assets. I have been married for 28 years now. I am glad I got married. I do not believe in having a huge production in getting married. It is expensive but I had to do what my parents wanted me to do. Being married tends to help you to stay together. You are more likely to work things out and stay together. If you are not married, it is easier to walk away. You can still get into debt, not be married and be miserable. There is no guarantee with anything in life. Everything we do is a risk.

[Native spirit]

I am a widow i was married for 20 years when he passed away we had 5 children and i can say they were the best days of my life, i wasnt interested in marrage and kids when i was in school,i just wanted a job so i could leave home.
but when i met my husband my outlook changed,i am a spiritu;ist but that didnt make any difference to how i felt.


Namaste

[Corina]

Marriage is not just about love and chemistry, it's about forming a family. In my opinion, when you marry someone, it's more like a pledge of loyalty then of having sex together for the rest of your lives. Sure, love and sex are very important, but I think that, as we grow older, our priorities change and most people become more interested in having a stable environment, having someone to rely on, to come home to, to spend holidays with, to share things with, to have child with etc. Of course this can be achieved without marriage, but I do think that marriage strengthens the bond and makes people aware that they are now in a family, as opposed to being just boyfriend and girlfriend. Also, pretty much everywhere in the world, marriage is a legal contract which settles lots of issues like: having a common bank account, taking a loan together, inhering your spouses propriety in case he/she dies, how you share your common proprieties if you break-up etc. Of course this doesn't mean EVERYBODY should be married, especially if you haven't found the right person. Personally, I would rather be alone than spend the rest of my day with someone I'm not compatible with and don't get along with. I think the institution itself is a good one, but I really really dislike those that try to shove it down other people's throats constantly.

I wanted my husbands surname, thats the only point. I had two weddings - wiccan handfasting - a celebration of love - and other, really funny thing for surname. I just wanted us to be called "Pabērzu ģimene" - "family of Pabērzs".
Handfasting was so great party :) Everyone just loved it :)

'Being asked whether it was better to marry or not, he replied, "Whichever you do, you will repent it."' - Socrates, as quoted by Diogenes Laërtius

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." (attributed to Socrates, but may not be by him. Oh well, still a good one )

Originally Posted by Corina

Marriage is not just about love and chemistry, it's about forming a family. In my opinion, when you marry someone, it's more like a pledge of loyalty then of having sex together for the rest of your lives. Sure, love and sex are very important, but I think that, as we grow older, our priorities change and most people become more interested in having a stable environment, having someone to rely on, to come home to, to spend holidays with, to share things with, to have child with etc. Of course this can be achieved without marriage, but I do think that marriage strengthens the bond and makes people aware that they are now in a family, as opposed to being just boyfriend and girlfriend. Also, pretty much everywhere in the world, marriage is a legal contract which settles lots of issues like: having a common bank account, taking a loan together, inhering your spouses propriety in case he/she dies, how you share your common proprieties if you break-up etc. Of course this doesn't mean EVERYBODY should be married, especially if you haven't found the right person. Personally, I would rather be alone than spend the rest of my day with someone I'm not compatible with and don't get along with. I think the institution itself is a good one, but I really really dislike those that try to shove it down other people's throats constantly.

Very well said. I agree.

Originally Posted by Animus27

'Being asked whether it was better to marry or not, he replied, "Whichever you do, you will repent it."' - Socrates, as quoted by Diogenes Laërtius

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." (attributed to Socrates, but may not be by him. Oh well, still a good one )

Ha ha ha..

A friend told me yesterday,
"There are three RINGS in a marriage.
Engagement RING
Wedding Ring
and SuffeRING"


I like marriage, although mine is failing.
Now I experienced a marriage; I strongly believe that everyone should be lucky enough to find their soul mate to marry.
I do not regret marrying my soon to be ex husband at all.
I learned more about myself and love from my marriage than any other relationships.
Greater lesson comes from making a difficult life choice and from making a commitment to another living being.