How do you let people into your heart? - Page 3

Kaere · #21 08-02-2011, 12:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Dragon

You can say that when your still green, but after loads of history, it takes effort and intention to be open.

Yes it does. If it came naturally and easily for me, I wouldn't need to ask this question. It's not like I've always had a ton of friends though but it used to be much easier to do - and I don't need much social contact to keep happy and content and such (I'm not looking to make friends with everyone out there). I just am feeling the lack (ie I have none at all) and I noticed that even though I met a couple of nice ladies through my sons school, I shut the whole thing right down when I could have called or met for coffee or something.

Adrienne · #22 08-02-2011, 12:56 AM

School's still in session, you still have a chance for coffee.

There's a difference between having coffee or casual friendship and letting someone into your heart.

Kaere · #23 08-02-2011, 01:01 AM

Yes, of course there is. But a deeper friendship has to start somewhere - I was just showing an example of what I'm trying to overcome at step 1, for lack of a better word.

Pretty much it seems it's all about taking a chance

#24 08-02-2011, 01:07 AM

Kaere I am where you are. It used to be simpler when we are innocent, but after we eat from the tree of good and evil... If you are like me, you do wish to have friends, and make the intention, but maybe you don't go the extra mile to do so. You don't want to impose yourself on people. Or you may not feel enough energy coming from them that would encourage you. Or you feel anxiety when an opportunity does arise. We gotta take the risk. We have to have the courage to move things forward and risk a negative experience. We are also risking a positive experience too!

Adrienne · #25 08-02-2011, 01:08 AM

Kaere, yes, you are right, it could start with a cup of coffee

how about if you make an effort to be the one who makes the first move to be friends ? not knowing you or much about you ... maybe you have already done this ?

start out slow, see how it goes, I myself don't just open my heart to anyone, there has to be a level of trust first

#26 08-02-2011, 01:49 AM

when i came out of my hermit stage, i sought to have a friend. i choose my neighbor who has the worst morals and should not be trusted by anyone...i did not know this when i decided to befriend her and give her all my trust and all the postive i have within myself. she even said to me in suprize, you trust me dont you. i said yes i do. she ended up being my absolute best friend. she was immoral with everyone but me. we had a mutual respect. she ended up moving to africa and i miss her. really have not made any good friends since then, but kaere, i would say just who ever it is you want to befriend, give them your gods honest best and things should go well.

Kaere · #27 08-02-2011, 01:54 AM

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice on this - I appreciate it very much :)

#28 08-02-2011, 06:38 PM

I love you just the way you are, Karere

You're spectacular, and I get you.

Real friends see your heart as you are.

And dig who you are.

You don't need to do anything, they'll find you.

Just be alert for them when the they arrive.

If I weren't a beat up, old hermit, I'd be your friend in a heartbeat.

And I still will, and do the best I can.

Kaere · #29 08-02-2011, 07:45 PM

Oh gosh Lisa. From one old hermit to another, you're pretty sweet ((hugs))

#30 11-02-2011, 12:30 AM

For me it starts with the 'core' interests...and that would have to be 1) on the list: antiques - vintage living 1930s...and then take it from there...a bit at a time. I state that one because that is my life - and if there is to be any relationship, she must be compatible with this type of lifestyle.