Married men

ragdoll · #1 02-05-2018, 05:19 PM

Ok. Before I get into this let me state that while I find many people attractive including men and women who may or may not be married I am NOT interested in married men or women. I feel there is a distinct difference as one is a biological reaction and one is mental/moral.

Ok.

So I notice a pattern that the only time men are interested and attracted to me are when they are married or take men. I've told the story before of the man who I found out was married when we went to lunch and his wife showed up. Another had girlfriend's who all didn't know of each other. There are other instances of the men being married or "separated" which I think is code for being married but still want to have a girlfriend. One guy was a casual hook up who told me after that he has a girlfriend and we no longer speak.

Now is a professor. He mentioned his wife twice in class. Yet every time I look up he is looking at me and he acts real nervous and shy around me, and tries to engage me specifically in conversation and no one else. I think he is attractive BUT I am NOT interested. But I am angry and frustrated. Why does it seem that guy's are interested in me only if they are attached? I DON'T flirt, I don't engage them in ANY WAY without them talking to me first and that is usually to answer a question. And I will not do another woman like that.

Any insight? I think I'm doing a good job at saying hey universe I'd like this and this, unattached please, but so far to no avail.

ragdoll · #2 02-05-2018, 05:22 PM

And to clarify once I find out they are attached I usually cut contact and do not engage them in any way ever again.

Inika · #3 02-05-2018, 06:02 PM

that is sad.

boring marriage gets stale. taste some different flesh while still bound to another.

quite self serving and disregarding others value, worth and feelings.

selfish world after all.

ragdoll · #4 02-05-2018, 08:16 PM

I agree. Which is why I don't want any part in it.

ocean breeze · #5 03-05-2018, 11:37 PM

I have similar issues regarding women. Some were upfront about being married while with others i didn't find out until later. I can understand it being frustrating if you're single and wanting to pursue a real relationship.

angelic star · #6 04-05-2018, 09:55 AM

If you are like relatively younger to these people who are married to their partners for years, then well that's kind of unwanted. I say this not on moral grounds, but more like it feels cowardly to me. Like someone is very unhappy with their lives and relationships so they look for fresh meat or something to feel better about themselves. Bad and sly energy.

dream jo · #7 11-05-2018, 10:15 PM

yep#
i get it'
i seam 2 fall for gay men or maredd men i do wish i avod id o but tus fallin for thm cnt

pdizzle45 · #8 12-05-2018, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ragdoll

Ok. Before I get into this let me state that while I find many people attractive including men and women who may or may not be married I am NOT interested in married men or women. I feel there is a distinct difference as one is a biological reaction and one is mental/moral.

Ok.

So I notice a pattern that the only time men are interested and attracted to me are when they are married or take men. I've told the story before of the man who I found out was married when we went to lunch and his wife showed up. Another had girlfriend's who all didn't know of each other. There are other instances of the men being married or "separated" which I think is code for being married but still want to have a girlfriend. One guy was a casual hook up who told me after that he has a girlfriend and we no longer speak.

Now is a professor. He mentioned his wife twice in class. Yet every time I look up he is looking at me and he acts real nervous and shy around me, and tries to engage me specifically in conversation and no one else. I think he is attractive BUT I am NOT interested. But I am angry and frustrated. Why does it seem that guy's are interested in me only if they are attached? I DON'T flirt, I don't engage them in ANY WAY without them talking to me first and that is usually to answer a question. And I will not do another woman like that.

Any insight? I think I'm doing a good job at saying hey universe I'd like this and this, unattached please, but so far to no avail.

I sometimes wonder why patterns like this occur , where people are made to feel a certain way about themselves and the opposite/same sex. Some people are forced to seek certain physical characterics in somebody and begin to forget what they truly want in a person. A lot has to do with 3rd chakra pressure from an assosication of retired criminals who try to ensure certain types to people stay away from each other . that's written in creative black and white the way. This happened to me. Every time i tried to meet somebody I was made to feel I wasn't good enough or my life needed to be in better order or i need more money, etc.

I am only now realizing this and understand what it is I am looking for. Its sad to see this and its interesting that you're being made to feel you should seek married men. You might even start feeling resent but what's good is that you understand not to act on these situations. Because maladaptive feelings but start taking place and you want to make sure you keep a strong heart and soul.

Clio_86 · #9 12-05-2018, 09:20 PM

What is the saying about professors? Their first book thanks their wife and their secretary/assistant, their second book thanks their wife the secretary? :p Something like that.

During my undergrad I had a professor who stared at me all the time in class. I felt super uncomfortable and as naive as I was, probably would have thought I was imagining it if it were not for my friend pointing it out. I later learned that he had an affair with one of his students and got a divorce. It was a big ordeal in my department. As I progressed through my degree, I noticed he was just creepy in general to young women.

I am newly single after six years with the same partner. In December I met a married guy. I had no idea he was married until I went to his home and saw pictures of his wedding day. I think his wife was out for the weekend and the guy had no shame taking me to his house. Needless to say I gave him a piece of my mind and left. Oh the joys of dating as a real adult. Last time I dated I was in my twenties and everything is now different.

angelic star · #10 13-05-2018, 05:42 AM

A partner of a friend who is in his late 40s now, has been dating a 25 year old. Apparently this female is very naive, and she isn't very ripe about anything in life as a person. I don't get what an older person could be doing with a kid like that.
There is a strange dynamic that plays there, the wife hates the young female, and the man wants to raise his self esteem through this younger person but will never leave his marriage. The outcome is very uncertain, vague and toxic. I think all young people should be extremely wary of older men and married men hitting on them. These men are not smart and almost dysfunctional.
I find it outright creepy in general, when someone is married and much older and hits on a younger, inexperienced person.