Love (yet another one)

Originally Posted by Gem

to me it's much too simple. I don't like people littering the woods.

secondly, I don't even know this cat who's throwing rubbish around so I don't pretend I love him.

At least you are honest.

But this hatred is your own fear.

3d

Originally Posted by Topology

3D,

It is you who is interpreting intervention as bad treatment. How does being challenged by others turn into dictatorship? We all share space with each other. When one person disrespects that space, it is appropriate to challenge them.

It is not a challenge. You hate the guy. You hate him so much that you called it a "challenge" (you humiliate him, pretending to know what is best for him)

This is hatredx2

Originally Posted by Topology

Are you sure that you are not projecting your own fears and personal wounds onto these proposed situations? Are you feeling like there have been significant dictators in your life that have hurt your feelings by telling you how to be?

No this is american paranoia that I see a lot in this forum.

[sound]

Originally Posted by 3dnow

"He may not have a heart attack" is not logical. Here you actually mean "He may have a heart attack" and your love doesn't care about it.

... and we are talking about superwoman scenario here which is not very useful. OK I asked you the "what if you were superwoman" question but we found ourselves in a strange situation nothing to do with the OP like a Tarantino movie.

You can ask the questions but you cant control the answers, unless you provide your own answers.

... and perhaps what you actually mean (to say to me) is ... 'leave off, i don't like you sound, I try to dismiss you, and paint you as a fool, and wish you wouldn't keep contributing in my threads, but you just don't get it' ...

[sound]

Bingo! How does it feel when others tell you what you mean?

Originally Posted by 3dnow

It is not a challenge. You hate the guy. You hate him so much that you called it a "challenge" (you humiliate him, pretending to know what is best for him)

This is hatredx2



No this is american paranoia that I see a lot in this forum.

3D,

There is obviously a culture difference in how certain actions are interpreted. I expect to be confronted when I make a mistake. If I feel humiliated it is because I'm resisting the lesson in humility and how to be humble. Humiliation occurs when my ego chooses to become offended instead of taking the information as helpful advice.

There are two people involved, two sets of intentions, two sets of emotions, two sets of interpretations of events. Person A can confront person B without being or intending humiliation. However, person B can choose to be egoicly offended and experience humiliation because they refuse to be humble about having done something wrong.

Originally Posted by sound

You can ask the questions but you cant control the answers, unless you provide your own answers.

... and perhaps what you actually mean (to say to me) is ... 'leave off, i don't like you sound, I try to dismiss you, and paint you as a fool, and wish you wouldn't keep contributing in my threads, but you just don't get it' ...

This is not the case.

OK I asked you what superwoman would do, but I meant: What would you do if you didn't fear the guy (which is also very normal).

You misunderstood my question, or my question was not clear.

You answered like superwoman who can fly etc.

Originally Posted by Topology

3D,

There is obviously a culture difference in how certain actions are interpreted. I expect to be confronted when I make a mistake. If I feel humiliated it is because I'm resisting the lesson in humility and how to be humble. Humiliation occurs when my ego chooses to become offended instead of taking the information as helpful advice.

There are two people involved, two sets of intentions, two sets of emotions, two sets of interpretations of events. Person A can confront person B without being or intending humiliation. However, person B can choose to be egoicly offended and experience humiliation because they refuse to be humble about having done something wrong.

You are trying to humble the guy? Man this is not love.

When you do something wrong, you forgive yourself. This is the right approach. Otherwise you can't get better. We grow with self-forgiveness not self-punishment.

[sound]

He may have a heart attack while someone is expressing love to him ... or is that illogical too?

The guy littering in the woods doesn't view himself doing something wrong. When I confront him and let him know the effects of his actions and point out the damage, I am not trying to humble or humiliate him, I'm trying to educate him. In many cases such behaviour is not acceptable because he is choising to harm. How he responds to my effort to educate him is up to him and not in my control.

Just because someone is emotionally insecure and interprets an action as humiliating doesn't mean the action itself is humiliating or that the actor was Intending humiliation.

[sound]

Originally Posted by 3dnow

OK I asked you what superwoman would do, but I meant:

I already answered from the non fear perspective back in the beginning ...

Originally Posted by Sound

Maybe a show of unconditional love could include educating that person as to why it is not helping the forest to clutter it with rubbish ... not saying anything is showing your own fear of how s/he might react ... showing that person where the rubbish bin is situated is not a 'non-loving' act; it demonstrates respect and love for the forest at the same time ...