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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 16-09-2006, 07:27 AM
OneLight
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Love and Being in Love

Hi Folks,

Well I am going to bring in something else that I have brought up on my own forum and that I think is so very important in our day to day lives and one that I would like to openly discuss - Love and Being in Love. It seems that the most intimate relationships, those more intricately intertwined, are the most stable and long lasting...

Women are often more interested in intimacy than in sex of and for sex itself. Prior to sex females want to become friends, touch, kiss, and hug. A woman wants affection before sex.

Males have a hard time understanding the feelings of women. Men are puzzled by women yet they often see sex as a way to please women. Men even see sex as a cure-all for relationships.

What do you guys and dolls think would make a good relationship - One that would work and last for a very long time?

Much Love
Greg
  #2  
Old 16-09-2006, 09:59 AM
e-ma
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This is a nice question to ponder on...

I think that you have to have a sense of understanding each other beyond the limits of form.. in that, I guess that I mean you are both there together physically, but there is a connection between your two beings that is larger than just what's going on in the world right now.

Well, I guess I would say that, I am spiritual. My brother is not spiritual in the slightest and he loves his girlfriend deeply - they are positive that they will be together forever.. and they say that they don't want kids because they just want to keep their love eternally young, they want to be the eternal lovers, Romeo and Juliet.

My parents are very different to each other and married very young. They don't have the romantic love any more but they have 'stuck it out together' and both found a way to thrive together, but seperately. I'm not too keen on that type of scenario I'm glad I didn't marry my first boyfriend, I needed to learn and grow and see the world on my own and now I feel that I can make a really good decision and enjoy the rest..
  #3  
Old 18-09-2006, 05:37 AM
Mother Goose Mother Goose is offline
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First I'll address the issue of sex: I've always thought, that although sex is NOT a 'cure-all' (but I can see why you might say that about guys) if one of the partners in a relationship unhappy with the sexual part of the relationship, then things will eventually fall apart (if it's not worked out.) Having both partners 'content' with the sexual part of the relationship is vital to having a 'good' relationship. If there are no serious issues regarding their views on sex...the frequency and quality of it....then it's much easier to work through other problems that arise (and they will.)

As for the rest of it....you have to be willing to make a lot of effort. It all comes down to being:
*respectful of each other and each other's opinions/wishes/desires/fears
*understanding of each other's 'shortcomings'...whether they're big issues or small ones
*willing to grow and change with the person
*willing to give and accept love (lopsided relationships are not 'good')

I'm sure I could come up with more...but I'm too tired at the moment. I guess those are the basic things that help to make a good lasting relationship.

Last edited by Mother Goose : 18-09-2006 at 05:39 AM.
  #4  
Old 18-09-2006, 07:04 AM
e-ma
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M. Scott Peck in his book, 'The Road Less Travelled' goes into detail about love and I really respect his opinion. He says that when the initial 'in love', romantic type sensations have died down, then is the chance for a true, deep love to actually start growing.
  #5  
Old 18-09-2006, 08:27 AM
imageimaginer
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Hi One light,

Imagine a man who could be like women wouldn't that be something? A man that would understand a womans feelings and love her and feel every emotion that she would. A man who would rather be friends, touch, kiss and hug. And sex to him would be the highest expression of love between two people and this he would call sacred.
These men are very rare indeed but they do exist. Most of them are on these forums.

Would you like to know the secret to a good relationship?
It's unconditional loveor unselfish love and this lasts forever.
  #6  
Old 18-09-2006, 01:07 PM
Mother Goose Mother Goose is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by imageimaginer
It's unconditional loveor unselfish love and this lasts forever.
That IT...right there. Very simply put: if you have a relationship founded on unconditional love, you will be willing to commit to the things I listed above.
  #7  
Old 19-09-2006, 10:43 PM
devolution devolution is offline
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OneLight has pretty much hit it on the head with the basic differences in attitude for the majority of men & women.

I've been reading "Mars and Venus: Together Forever" recently, and it has opened my eyes up on a number of things.

I always prided myself on believing I was one of those 'rare' men, for I've always believed strongly in love before sexuality, and to treat women with the uttermost respect.
But having been jaded by some deep disappointments and bitterness, I found recently there was some healing that needed to be done on my soul and heart, and it is still an on-going process...
Mainly insecurity, but the Mars & Venus book helped me to look at myself, and the traditional in-built male behaviours which have caused me (and in common with most males) some problems in my life.

Though I am deeply spiritual and believe in love as a primarily spiritual force, I have always felt that the initial 'falling in love' feelings are related to our human sexuality - our desire to mate and nurture a woman for long enough to foster offspring.

But ImageImaginer, I agree with you totally! The truly 'good men' are very rare, and I've always felt sad knowing that there are so many women out there yearning to be loved and tenderly looked after, yet there is a dire lack of those 'good men' that know what to do and how to do it!!!

Communication is the number one problem between Men & Women - men often bottle up their feelings or express them in physical ways (anger, sport, shouting, etc.), but women nearly always show their feelings in emotional ways.

E-ma, I want to check that book out. Have heard of that title before...
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveller, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference

...Robert Frost


__________________
Everything beautiful must still come to an end,
Even the binding of love will break away,
All that is left... is love of the dark.
...Sigh...
Mortality is as fragile as a Rose.
(From a note found on an Altar next to a single red Rose, signed by "The Goth Bride")
Love is the most important thing in the world...
http://www.devolution.co.uk | http://www.mattwarne.com | http://www.voluptas.info
  #8  
Old 20-09-2006, 04:44 PM
e-ma
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hey, that's a really cool poem. The book really is a great read. Quite demanding and goes very in depth into psychotherapy.. but from a spiritual perspective. I learned so much about myself, my family relationships and my romantic relationships from it!

I agree about guys needing to be more in touch with their emotions.. perhaps it's the phase that society is in at present that makes it un-cool or socially unacceptable for guys to allow themselves to channel into that part of themselves. I remember during the World Cup that was on recently, I was in a pub in London, and when David Beckham came off the pitch he started crying, and these gangs of guys in the pub were laughing and shouting obscenities at him on the screen because he was crying! I thought, oh my god, these guys have a long way to go...
  #9  
Old 20-09-2006, 09:51 PM
daisy daisy is offline
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a deep spiritual understanding of each other,sex does't really come into it thats just a bonus like marrying a good cook
  #10  
Old 20-09-2006, 09:59 PM
chi chi
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i have one of them daisy you should get one he is tops
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