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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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Old 09-09-2006, 01:24 PM
Light Mage
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Color Love, "in love" and boyfriends...

Hi, apologies if this posting seems a little disjointed, it's more stream-of-thought writing than anything.

I wonder if anyone can offer any advice about defining a relationship...

I'm thinking about the friendship I have with somebody, and wondering if people would classify us as being "boyfriends".

How do you define what a boyfriend is, I mean, what is the criteria of looking at a relationship between two people and saying if they're boyfriends or not...?

I do really like this person, I guess I love him as a friend but I'm not "in love". I hope that makes sense.

Do I have to be "in love" with someone to have them as a boyfriend or is just loving them good enough? That's what I'm not sure about.

(I'm hoping this is the right forum as it's not specifically a "sexuality" topic.)
Old 09-09-2006, 03:26 PM
Mother Goose Mother Goose is offline
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Well, light Mage....I would say that you should be asking him this question. Or have you already & are just looking for more opinions? My opinion is that it's really up to the two of you to define your relationship.

We can certainly love people without being romantically 'in love' with the person. Most of us have plenty of people in our lives who are dear to us, ones we love without a doubt, but we are not IN LOVE with them.

As for needing to be in love with someone you're dating....I don't think it's necessary. I believe that as long as both partners understand where each of them stands in the relationship...and they're both okay with it....you can just enjoy each other's company. But it's important to keep 'up to date' with feelings.....should either one start moving toward wanting MORE or LESS than what was discussed, it needs to be addressed asap.
Old 09-09-2006, 07:32 PM
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You can not mesure a relationship, infact can u tell me to an exact degree how much u are in love with your beloved? insted follow your heart, there is absolutely nothing u can do to measure you or your parteners love for each other.

Instead give nothing but your utmost love to this man, if u do the only thing that will be responded back to u is the utmost luv from him.

But thats just my own experience talkin :p
Old 09-09-2006, 08:47 PM
Light Mage
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Thank you for your replies. :)

I guess the most confusing thing for me is that there's only ever been one person who I've felt like I've ever truly been "in love" with, at least I think it was love, and not just an infatuation or something... because it was a very strong feeling.
Old 10-09-2006, 04:17 AM
Mother Goose Mother Goose is offline
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If you felt it was love, then let yourself believe it was....for at that time that's what you were experiencing. The next time you fall in love, it may feel very different, or it may start out the same way and then change. But because people are different....we love them in different ways. I've only ever been IN love twice...once...my first love...was when I was 18 and I didn't fall in love again until I met my husband when I was in my mid twenties. For me, the feelings at the very beginning of the relationship were very similar, but as the relationship with my (now) dh developed I began to realize just how different my love for him was from my first love.

I believe we have many, many, many soulmates and some of them we are more drawn to than others. Some of them we feel the connection so strongly it can cause a true physical reaction. Those are the relationships we may wind up obessing over. And then there are others with whom we just experience this comfortable feeling that we can enjoy without needing to explain it.
Old 12-09-2006, 06:54 PM
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I've recently 'got together' with someone.. and I'm not really in love.. but we just enjoy hanging out, and going out socially.. and all stuff like that. We kissed, laughed and said 'yeah, let's be boyfriend and girlfriend'.. I guess it's a step up from friendship and just so that other people know that you're kinda together. To me it's nothing heavy, just fun, but also kinda committed, like neither of us would go off with anyone else. I guess these things are generally unspoken but understood. Good luck..

Old 25-09-2006, 01:16 PM
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I too have only been in love twice.. once when I was 18... how wonderful, traumatic, and special it was... others came and went, I even married, but didn't fall in love til I met my current partner, and it was the same feeling I had when I was 18. That was some 28 years of just loving here and there, and when it happens you know.

a friend is someone you are fond of, love, like, and have to tell stuff too. A boyfriend is someone that can make you cry, jealous, worry about them, want to share things with and tell them stuff first.... you go to bed thinking of them, and wake up thinking of them... a friend is great... but the one you love get's right under your cuticles!!!
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