what are men attracted to in women

Originally Posted by SeaZen

I am very happy to hear how affectionate and seductive you are and I hope that whatever man you are with appeals to and satisfies your innermost soulful needs and desires.

TMI?? Are you kidding me? Dont worry about it WW! We need to be honest and open about these things just like anything else. It looks like you have been edited anyway which I cant understand because how will we grow and evolve sexually if we cant talk about it. I can understand editing vivid sexual storytelling but when discussing our questions and concerns thats a whole other matter. Anyway thats the subject of another post. I think I have enough to work with here to answer you though.

SeaZen, I believe the edit was to remove a word which I thought was permissible to use, but apparently not. (Sorry mods, no offense intended. )

As for the TMI issue, there are some rather nasty words that get thrown around re: women who are sexually confident, and I'm new to this forum and trying to make a decent impression.

Originally Posted by SeaZen

From what I just read it sounds like your male friend has been through some very, very rough relationship times. When this happens to a guy the last thing he wants is to enter another relationship right away. He needs time to heal and clear himself of the negativity of the past relationships before starting a new relationship.

Now, given that, we still have that strong male sex drive we need to deal with which puts us between a rock and hard place (pun intended). How do we deal with our sex drive when we dont want to enter a relationship quite yet? Quite the dilemna! Your male friend is obviously dealing with it via the hot emails and phone calls with you.

What throws a monkey wrench into all of this is the one night romance discussion. You would think that he would jump at the chance for this but he doesnt. There are several possibilities here:

1) If he follows through with the one night romance, he may not trust himself and would want to do so again and again which would constitute starting a relationship which is something he is not ready for. Sex is a very powerful magnet for guys.

2) He may want to wait until the time is right and he is clear of the negativity of the past relationships so that he can start fresh and make that first moment with you special and enduring.

3) all of the above (I think its all of the above)

As far as taking it to the next level, I would mention to him that you understand he is healing and clearing himself of the past negative relationships and that he needs time for that and ask him how long will he need to heal and if there is anything you can do to help. Of course ease this into the conversation and say this as diplomatically and undemanding as possible. This should start a discussion that should answer your questions. I hope this helps WW! Let me know if you have any more questions or concerns.

I wish you well dear! Hang in there!

SeaZen

Thank you, SeaZen. It helps a lot to get a man's perspective. I cherish the wisdom of my women friends, too, but guys have "inside info", so to speak.

White Wolf

Originally Posted by SeaZen

Whats your phone number lost girl? Lets talk! Just kidding!

You make some valid points. There will always be some guys out there who like the "old fashioned" submissive, cocquettish girl, and there are some meek, shy guys who may be genuinely intimidated but rest assured, there are alot of evolved guys out there who would jump at the chance to meet a girl like you! As far as your personality and essence is concerned, stay as you are lost girl (you dont sound lost to me at all). However, when it comes to the bedroom, you may wish to experiment with all the variety of feelings that are available to us e.g. making tender sweet love, being the ravisher or the ravishee etc. etc.

Brilliant. You made me chuckle. I have just never been brought up to be submissive etc. I was very shy as a child and then was bullied throughout my school life and i finally had enough of it and came out of my shell :) I like who i am now.
As for the bedroom, i want to put it delicately but i dont know how.......i have no problem "experimenting" as you put it in any way.......(i feel the conversation tone has now slipped down hill here)......
Thank you for making me smile

[SeaZen]

Originally Posted by White Wolf

As for the TMI issue, there are some rather nasty words that get thrown around re: women who are sexually confident

You know, that is a really sad state of affairs when that happens and its guys who throw around those comments. Those idiots dont realize they are shooting themselves (and the rest of us) in the foot when they do that. I just really hope those women dont get discouraged when they hear that and know that there are guys out there who absolutely adore them for the divine godesses that they have become!

Thank you, SeaZen. It helps a lot to get a man's perspective. I cherish the wisdom of my women friends, too, but guys have "inside info", so to speak.

White Wolf

You are correct! We do have the inside info and perspective you seek! Understanding what is really going on in a relationship situation helps tremendously in being able to accept it and deal with it and to move forward. Its the unknown that causes stress and disharmony. Im very happy to be able to help in this regard White Wolf. Im sure you would do the same if I was experiencing some kind of unknown with a woman I was dating and I needed some "inside info".

Thats what were here for!

SeaZen

[SeaZen]

Originally Posted by Lostgirl

Brilliant. You made me chuckle. I have just never been brought up to be submissive etc. I was very shy as a child and then was bullied throughout my school life and i finally had enough of it and came out of my shell :) I like who i am now.

I like who you are now too lostgirl! Dont ever change except for an even more evolved version of who you are now. You may find yourself at parties or whatever where you will be in the company of un-evolved cro-magnon testosterone fueled guys testing you. Always stand your ground with the inner self confidence, strength and humor within you that you so wonderfully express!

As for the bedroom, i want to put it delicately but i dont know how.......i have no problem "experimenting" as you put it in any way.......(i feel the conversation tone has now slipped down hill here)......

That is great! Actually, I never meant that comment I made to be turned into a specific "nuts and bolts" sexual discussion between us. It was merely a suggestion for you to ponder the possibilities if you havent already, but I see that you already have which is great! I dont think you realize how truly far along you are on the evolutionary scale of spirituality and sexuality at such a young age! Realize it, feel it, experience it, enjoy it! It only gets better!

Thank you for making me smile

Thank you lostgirl! Knowing that I spread some joy makes me feel real good!

Originally Posted by SeaZen

First of all, let me explain to you the nature of guys.

Speak for yourself SeaZen. The description below does not represent me in the slightest.
If I am attracted to a woman I desire to know her before the intimacy of sex.
I cannot have sex with a stranger.

We are visually and sexually stimulated when we first see a desirable woman. In other words our first thought and impulse when we first see a woman we desire is "wow, it would be great to have sex with her!". So we go with it that impulse and chat her up.

As the evening moves forward we come down to earth from our base impulse and realize, hey, this is about more than just the sex, she wants a relationship as well so we then try to determine if this is someone we want for more than just sex i.e. a relationship. There are 2 possible answers to this

1) "Yes we would love to have sex with you but no we do not wish to pursue a relationship with you".
2) "Yes we would love to have sex with you AND pursue a relationship with you"

Number one is clearly a mixed signal that contributes to confusion. It looks as if you may fall into the first category with this particular individual White Wolf. If it is your intent to only have sex without the strings of a subsequent relationship with this guy, you should make this very verbally clear to him in which case Im sure he will respond positively.

Guys have thankfully evolved and we do not wish to act on our base sexual impulse with someone who clearly wants more just to drop them and move on after we had our taste of sugar and leave her devastated. That was how guys acted in the distant past thank God.

Yet many guys still behave this way.

Originally Posted by SeaZen

The number one way most guys like for women to lovingly communicate and reach out to us is sexually.

Speak for yourself.

But ladies, dont forget to reach out to us the way we prefer!

Not "we", you.

Of course women also like to be reached out to sexually and men like to also be reached out to soulfully but I think its safe to say that if we primarily appealed to each other as the way I illustrated above things would be hot!

It may be safe to say but that don't mean it's right for all.

A woman who is a bit traditional, very feminine (in a vintage way! - likes dresses, lace, long styled hair, and wears make up that highlights her natural beauty).

Below are some photos to kind of demonstrate:

They are 1930s - 40s period styles

Quote:
Originally Posted by SeaZen
The number one way most guys like for women to lovingly communicate and reach out to us is sexually.

Alternate Carpark: Speak for yourself.
Quote:
But ladies, dont forget to reach out to us the way we prefer!
Not "we", you.

Quote:
Of course women also like to be reached out to sexually and men like to also be reached out to soulfully but I think its safe to say that if we primarily appealed to each other as the way I illustrated above things would be hot!

It may be safe to say but that don't mean it's right for all.

Thank You Alternate Carpark.

I'm not that into all this sex stuff due to my health and because there's more to life than just sex, sex, and more sex.

Originally Posted by Kapitan_Prien

Thank You Alternate Carpark.

I'm not that into all this sex stuff due to my health and because there's more to life than just sex, sex, and more sex.

Hey, no probs KP.
Though I enjoy sex thoroughly, I do not regard it as the first port of call in a relationship.

Sex, to me, is the icing on a cake that has been created out of getting to know one another first.
And as an example. My last relationship, we got to know each other for over a year before any physical intimacy.
Close friends first, then close physically.

In regards to appearance. I too am like you.
I am not impressed by girls dressing sexually.
If all you think you got to show are your jellies, then you're selling yourself short big time.
This trend of sexy is the new beautiful, I so hope it ends.

I feel the same way you do AC...with regards to both sex and then dressing in a sexual manner. I prefer elegant over sexual.

I guess I'm just an old geezer for being 30 *laughs*...but, I think it's just because I come from a different time.