The twin flame path

[Inika]

This is what it means to me :

All my life there has been good and bad traits, character flaws and programmed beliefs. some conditioned from an early age and some self awareness of adopting traits and flaws along the way. What I deem as flawed, disgusting, not acceptable about myself becomes my shadow side. The side I don't willingly and openly declare to others, especially someone I'd like to become closer with. We present our best spirit and trait to those we'd like to like us back.

I meet my twin and within months am presented with all my ugly. All my good spirit had been accepted, adored and loved. When my shadow came out, it was rejected. I took it very personally. And without realising it, it mirrored that they too had flaws and were not perfect.

neither of us were 'whole' aspected while denying the shadow side of the other and more importantly themselves. so we move away. do individual work. which means coming into full union with both aspects, shadow side and light side. This becomes the yin and yang where what is reflected is not only and just one side of the whole but all of it. both sides. and when we come into acceptance of this within us, we can accept it in others.
Integrating these aspects, both dual opposites is what it means to me to be on the twin flame path, the twin is on the same path of integrating and becoming their whole yin and yang and reflecting that back wont happen until it's achieved. There can be little to no harmony, peace in the 3rd energy of twins until this is fully accepted in the self without projecting it on the twin.

the twin mirrored to me my highest spirit and my lowest spirit. meaning, my light side and my shadow side. Neither of us have accepted the shadow side in one another. If we had, we'd be able to remain in the same room/space with the other. but the vibe, intensity, and energy of the shadow overtakes the light, why? because it's not been fully integrated and accepted as part of us that makes us whole.

the twin flame path to me, means to fully integrate and accept myself in full. my ugly and my beautiful.
When I am in total union with that. I am unconditionally loving myself, my twin and others without needing them to validate it by returning unconditional love back to me to confirm I am worth it and lovable.

i've then become whole and returned home to my heart.

the twin can do the same and when it's time, we can share what we'd like to about our journey without tension, ill feelings, negative vibes and expectations of the other to fill something we feel is lacking. there wont be a 'lack'

we would have arrived at a place where we were never depending on the other for our wounds to heal. for our sense of self or to distract the other away from their inner work. taking the time away, separating, is helpful, needed to become integrated.

as you can see, im one of the very few, if only one that does not see the twin flame path as a means to an end = marriage, relationship, major love romance.
it goes deeper and lasts longer because it's within you. It helps you become whole and who you truly are with no apologies. Thats the gift of the twin. as painful as it can be, it's all for a greater purpose.

[happyhaunts03]

I agree wholeheartedly with you. I haven't quite gotten to that point of accepting all of myself yet, but I truly believe the purpose of a TF isn't to be your lover/spouse/etc., but to be the force that puts you on the path to accepting yourself. Sometimes, that may end in physical togetherness, but I think in most cases, and likely for me, that togetherness isn't meant to happen in the physical world we are currently in. It's on a higher level. And maybe when we're both done with this life, we can reflect on it, moreso if we both reach wholeness.

My TF came to me when it was time for me to wake up and start living my life. He started that path for me and I will be forever grateful. I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm closer...every day a little closer, because he is with me in my heart and spirit.

[Inika]

Originally Posted by happyhaunts03

I agree wholeheartedly with you. I haven't quite gotten to that point of accepting all of myself yet, but I truly believe the purpose of a TF isn't to be your lover/spouse/etc., but to be the force that puts you on the path to accepting yourself. Sometimes, that may end in physical togetherness, but I think in most cases, and likely for me, that togetherness isn't meant to happen in the physical world we are currently in. It's on a higher level. And maybe when we're both done with this life, we can reflect on it, moreso if we both reach wholeness.

My TF came to me when it was time for me to wake up and start living my life. He started that path for me and I will be forever grateful. I'm still not where I want to be, but I'm closer...every day a little closer, because he is with me in my heart and spirit.

thank you Happyhaunts :) thank you for understanding my post. It's a force we cant run from, we can deny, but cant run. because we know we are not fully whole and are desperate for someone else to accept in us what we cannot accept in us or another. This person (the twin) amplifies this. It's frustrating. but necessary. the twin flame path is challenging if you're on it.
I'm not at the place fully either happyhaunts, but i'm trying every day to come into accepting all sides and parts of me regardless of if anyone else does or not.

[Crowzie]

What you said resonated deeply within me. I'm not entirely sure about Twin Flames; however, someone in my life I'm estranged with recently opened up the world you speak of. They taught me how to love, especially myself. I've realized that attachment is completely irrelevant, and ego only restrains love. They may never be in my life again, but I love them; that's all I'll ever need. I will always be grateful to them for presenting me with those lessons.

[Ciona]

Great post. This thread filled my heart with love to read. :)

I would love to expand further on what the path means to me personally, in addition to what the OP has said, but that is not necessary.

So I will just say that I fully back what has been written here.

I would also encourage anyone interested in learning more to simply google 'shadow side' or 'jungian shadow', 'cognitive functions', 'anatomy of the spirit', 'kabbalah', 'integration of divine masculine and divine feminine', etc.

Everyone has a divine masculine and a divine feminine side, yes.

[Ciona]

Originally Posted by Inika

as you can see, im one of the very few, if only one that does not see the twin flame path as a means to an end = marriage, relationship, major love romance..

You're not the only one.

[OEN34]

Great post! Really resonated with me as I too am learning and healing daily and it isn't easy by any stretch of the imagination.

My concern is, the other person involved may not understand what is happening on a deep, core level. They see it as 'issues' - which they are, lets face it - but they don't appreciate exactly what is going on here as they aren't as deep into the world of spirituality as I am, I guess.

They are on their own path, and they have said they have learnt a lot from me, in that I have showed them their shadow side too, but it is all very confusing!

[FairyCrystal]

Originally Posted by Inika

as you can see, im one of the very few, if only one that does not see the twin flame path as a means to an end = marriage, relationship, major love romance.

You're not alone, everyone who understands what TFs are about makes this very clear.

For me the path has been different. I had to think about it for a bit. For me one of the most beautiful things of meeting and being together and involved was the fact that what I thought to be 'ugly' was completely accepted by him. He helped me see these things in another light, helped me to transform my own views regarding these. The same for my shadows and fears. I don't think that in these 16 months together there has been a single moment where he's judged anything about me.
In that sense for me it was more like what is written in the section below (not from my hand), especially the bold part. That is exactly how it went for me.

It is as if your Soul, consciousness and thinking fully integrates the other. You have to accept the other completely, without letting go of the first oneness of your Soul, otherwise it won’t work. Accepting everything from and about the other without going along with it if it isn’t right for you. It’s all or nothing with all challenges that come with it.
Apart from you Soul and heart, your Twin Flame clearly sees your deepest and most unconscious shadow. Your less nice thoughts and feelings that you previously weren’t aware of. He/she sees and feels through you on a deep level as a complementary Soul. And only because of your constant intimate intertwining of heart and Soul are you safe enough, is there enough love, honesty and clarity to ‘dig up’ your shadow, that what is very painful to you or what you find ugly about yourself, hold it in your (plural form) heart and hands and see how it also protected you, to then finally transform it and let it go.
It is scary and threatening, the ego likely thinks the other influences you too much, you are afraid to lose yourself, to not stand on your own feet anymore in this union/blending that cannot be compared to any other relationship. But all these thought about influencing are from the ego-mind, not from your Soul. Just like the thought from the wish-body when mutual connection doesn’t work or isn’t recognized.
The more shadow and ego is dissolved by being together, the more you grow in your own autonomy, choose your own soul purpose, the God-Goddess inside, learn to support, appreciate, love and free yourself. Which results in self-realisation and oneness.

I believe what tripped us up in the end is the fact that stepping over his fear of commitment was too big a step for him. That triggered my fear of abandonment. I was working on that, have been for a long time, gotten a long way with it too, and I think we could've worked it out had he been more ready to address his fear.
Also, in the end I began to get concerned about all these things I had come up. Ego kicked in I guess, I began to fear it would become too much. I think that was the moment where I began to withdraw on some level, as a means to shield us/him from my stuff and I think this was the exact moment where things began to go askew.
I'd felt from the word go that I had to be totally open, honest, vulnerable and 'naked' with him in our connection. And that was not an ego thing, you cannot force yourself to be that way anyway. It was as if a higher force urged me to be that way, as if I (=my ego) had no say in the matter whatsoever.
The purity between us was our strength, and I think I closed that connection off a bit by getting concerned about sharing my fears with him. I think maybe I began to feel a bit guilty about having to talk or deal with my things so often.
Never realized that until typing this btw. Really stupid, because that was my ego, he never judged, he never minded, as I never made my problems his problems. It never turned into drama.
As for him... he did have things come up occasionally concerning what happened to him in the past and I think the way I embraced that, accepted that, was totally new to him. I doubt he'd ever been able to open up about it the same way before with another partner. I ended up hugging him and crying and that felt as if I was transmuting his pain for him. The weirdest thing. I sensed that deeply moved him.
Oh well... it is what it is.

What I'm also curious about... on the website of the spiritual centre from which I have the above text, they also speak of constantly attracting emotionally unavailable partners, even your Twin Flame. That this can be caused by past lives, and can be a repeating loop that can be undone by a healing/reading.
I am considering that, since I seem to have that pattern in life.

[Tortoise Walks]

Thank you Inika, this post as well as many of your recent posts have deeply resonated with me as well. I definitely do not translate the TF experience to mean that romance or eventual marriage is the goal. However, I was initially taken aback when from shortly into meeting this person I felt melded and "married" inside of me spiritually in a way that I've never experienced before. Where it even connected backwards and forwards if that makes any sense - timeless. It tripped me up quite a bit. Got me thinking about past lives and parallel lives... as some kind of explanation for the instant connection. Instant trust that I could literally feel welling up deep inside me where on the surface really (from my life experiences) there should have been none... My thinking mind has been on quite a ride...

We both provide an environment of no judgement and deep caring for each other. We have a foundation of holding no expectations with each other. We get to turn our heads upside down and shake it all out.

I have found that I get exactly what I need (not what I want or desire) to allow myself to heal, see, recognize my own stuff right when I need to. As our energy weaves together and apart my projections and old beliefs come to the surface to be acknowledged and loved and released. Negative and positive, together. I can watch my emotional wounds filling in the blanks and empty space of the unknown with old story lines that really I have no factual clue about. My own illusion and disillusionment, hehe.

We tend to separate our energies when I need to clear something or live on my own in some way... and seem to reconnect energy and/or communication when I'm strengthened and peaceful inside as well as to "fill up my tank" before deep diving for more personal solo or wordly 3D work. I can often feel it like some people can feel the rain coming.

I don't resist anymore... I grow and learn what and who I want to be for myself - drawing firmer and stronger boundaries in my life and relationships (even with him). Cutting to the heart of the matter, over and over. Discerning what no longer serves me. Transforming and transmuting past pains into growth. Leaning into the next best version of me on my path. With some lightness and joy to take it on. I am both fueled onward and burned down to nothing in this uncontrollable divine fire. The unstoppable Love that's been exposed in me is the universal fabric that ultimately supports my journey.

A hug in my real earth life with my more than a soul friend would be exquisite... that's where I'm at currently. Learning to live with that desire for a bit of physical presence. Learning to let go and trust in the timing of things and that how it is now is exactly as it should be ~ for me, for him... for everyone. Even accepting that another SC may/can/does pick up where he leaves off (for a moment or more). And that is possibly the same from me (or more) for him...

Life source energy channels in interesting ways.

[aimtobe]

If twin flames were meant to be a relationship of romance or marriage, it wouldn't come to you while you're in a monogamous, committed relationship. Think about it.

That isn't to imply the opposite though - that if you are single and your twin comes along, they will be your true love for romance and marriage. That would be a false assumption.

I think the challenge for each "couple" is to analyze/discover what that relationship is there for in their life. Isn't spiritual life just a bunch of chasing after mystery anyhow?