how do you heal from a narcissist?

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

... in people with CPTSD from abuse.

Many people have NO idea what this is.

[RedEmbers]

It stands for either complex or childhood post traumatic stress disorder.

It differs from post traumatic stress disorder because the trauma was ongoing and not a one off event.

[veritliber]

Originally Posted by alexis.l.s.h

sorry, but i need to talk about something dark for a minute. ive had to deal with a narcissistic father for years, ive yet to even come close to not fearing them.

Hi,
About struggling with forgiveness, there was this Zen quote "Let go or be dragged"...

If you hold anger or feeling of lacking justice, I just remind you, that these feelings only hurt you and not your oppressor, he doesn't even probably know. I think that you should forgive them, because of your own wellbeing. Why hold negative feelings? If it is because you feel like you want to revenge, there is no need, because who has hurt you, cannot escape his karma. Besides, Sun Tzu had said "If you hate your enemy, he has won over you already".

When I struggled with forgiveness, at one point I found out that I need a logical reason to forgive, without this I couldn't.

So, try to forgive in order to set yourself free and move on along your path.

[Maisy]

Originally Posted by RedEmbers

complex or childhood post traumatic stress disorder.

I think I have some version of that.

[PastPilot]

Originally Posted by xoxoOraclexoxo

I will add a post because I have a specialization in mood, personality, and character disorders (as a counselor) and studied cluster b disorders extensively.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is organic, genetic, inheritable, and unalterable.
❤️

All sound advice.

It is hard to distance oneself from a family member or if that narcissist is the friend of someone you have to interact with.

I deal with a narcissist and have distanced myself from them for a few years but they started portraying me as the villain because I cut off communication (no contact). They speak of this often to anyone who will listen. I'd say they are fanatical about it. They state that because I no longer communicate with them that it proves I am "the narcissist". Much of what they state I have done are in fact things they did and said. There is no owning up to their past actions. Just how far do you have to run from a narcissist? The world isn't big enough. I can see why some people are volunteering to go to Mars.

As for forgiveness, I have forgiven them. They know not what they do. I hold no malice toward them. I never have. But their attacks persist.

---

At what point does a narcissist evoke karma? Are they responsible for an affliction they were born with? Are their actions a test of tolerance for others? Are they souls who play the villain so others can experience or is this just unplanned, running amuck, crying havoc, causing destruction for no purpose type of personality?

-

[saurab]

Originally Posted by alexis.l.s.h

i still struggle with forgiveness. how do you heal after being drained from narcissists?

You have all the power to heal yourself. Do you observe your thoughts about unforgiveness? Do you observe impartially your thoughts at all ?

Also, let me say what you should not do to heal yourself: Positive affirmations. Most people repeat and repeat and repeat some inspirational quote, but underneath all this repetition is fear of not being a good person.

So, then, observe your fear, instead of covering it up with sugar sweet quotes and affirmations. Also accept that you are not very forgiving. Forgive yourself for it. Learning to forgive yourself is a key step to forgive others.

[Miss Hepburn]

The Admins have asked to quote only 3 sentences of other members.

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Native spirit

Please be aware that a Narcissist suffers from a mental health disorder
any advice given should reflect that.

Yes. Some think it is some sort of choice!!!
The reason doctors say it is incurable is because during the brain's early developmental years
the synapes made no connection to where they would in a 'normal' brain.

You can not repair a bridge that never existed.

Instead of being loved, nurtured when crying, for example ...they could have been ignored, yelled at or worse.
They are wounded damaged individuals at the imp early years.
It is not their fault.'

Just as it is not the fault of the Rhesus monkeys that died during the 1950s experiments not being touched...ever.
Do we blame them?

Even famous, national, modern day leaders that have caused much damage effecting the World ...have histories of being abandoned at age 2;
later even taught by their fathers that being a bully, mean and cheating is to be commended and that others are the weak ones!

Certainly they are deluded, but it was ''done to them'.

This is a short simplification.

I have been reading from the Psychology Today lately and me thinking narcs def do cause emotional abuse I figured maybe this page could be of any help on how to spot it and how to deal with it and how to move on from it

Link Emotional Abuse Psychology Today

On the page is the title "How do survivors recover from emotional abuse?" and there is in the text a link healing from emotional abuse (which was really the one I wanted to get to at first but still thinking it does help to really see what emotional abuse is at first, at least it was that way for me as I think that is part of the process. Once you get to that page you might get a little confused why it then says "Healing from Emotional Abuse
The four crucial stages of healing abuse within a loving relationship." Ignore the loving relationship-bit, it is the stages that follow that are the ones to get you to heal alone so dismiss the whole couple-thing.

Stage One: Acknowledging the Abuse Within Self and Between Partners
(now again forget about the Between Partners deal....)

Stage Two: Determination to Save Oneself at Any Cost

Stage Three: Powerful Compassion

Stage Four: Becoming a Model for Others

[kris]

Originally Posted by alexis.l.s.h

how do you heal after being drained from narcissists?

Go away from them as soon as you can and stay away from them.