Need advice please with TF

[Rainmaker1791]

Hello Seachild, I was wondering how long you have been in this relationship?
What was it like in the beginning?
who is the runner and who is the chaser?
how long can you be together without having to separate?
Can you see anything that is bothering you being mirrored back to you?
for example can you see the things bothering you in a pattern of your past or experiences?
just wondering to get a better picture.
QTPie was correct in what was said... it is easy to get caught up in the TF experience and believe that what we need is in other person, when what we are supposed to see (apparently) is already within us.
My TF and I started off with a month of pure magic, pure bliss, then our egos got caught up in it and things started turning south... we can't be together more than a week or two before i start running.
Our recent separation is 2 days old but this time it is different.. I surrendered to GOD (the Universe) to guide me, to find myself and my connection back to the source.
I still send love to her and still love her, but even with all the signs and synchronicities that keep bringing us back. we just have so much karma to work on, it seems like our situations keep us apart and bring us together.
I pray that you find what you are looking for within yourself.
Everytime we separated before we were both so very miserable, feeling empty, sad, frustrated and hurt..
This time since I gave up all of the control to GOD and the Universe.. I am feeling good about this.. We both had a bad argument and told each other that this was the last time (again) and we never want to hear from each other again.. ego time....
I hope you get back to me, I would love to hear the whole story..
Take care

[seachild]

Hi Rainmaker

I met my Twin July 23rd/24th online. We officially met in person August 13 2010. I loved the year 2010.

In the beginning it was magic, never felt that instant connection, love ever before. He recently broke up with someone else who he felt wasn't right for him at the time. He even agreed with something I told him via text, I said I feel like I have known you before, and he agreed by replying back he was thinking the same. Within a couple of weeks of us physically meeting, I felt so much love for him, I told him I love you, he said it back. He wanted me to tell him again and again. We were seeing each other day and night and then we moved in together October 2010. Then seeing the ups and downs of our relationship begin, I became needy, clingy. I started to feel unworthy of his love. Then 2011 came he got in contact with his ex gf, they started communicating again, he would talk for hours with her, we had few break ups during that year and got back. Until March 2012 he broke it off, as he moved south for ajob. That year we kept seeing each other, however he was adamant as friends only. We were sexual when we got together. I believed in my heart we were still together. I always had him on my mind, and felt the separation when I returned home. In January 2014, we had a big fight New Years Day, he just kept ignoring me, and I stood up to him and drove to the nearest motel, as I had alcohol in my system I couldn't drive another 2 hours home. So we got back in contact mid February, and saw each other again March (my bday month). Everytime we would be separate from each other, I would get irritable, anxious. I don't think he felt that way as I do, or maybe he did but didn't vent it? We officially got back together May 2014 and we are still together. I appreciate him a lot, I love him a lot too. I cannot see life without him.

I have learned a lot in this relationship, not to get clingy or needy. Give him space. Working on my limiting beliefs too. I just get baffled as to why we cannot communicate well together, like I yearn for long deep and meaningful chats. I did get very envious when he communicated so much with his ex, they would chat for hours. Not me so much, ugh.

[Rainmaker1791]

I feel like i am reading my own story when i was reading yours.. i can't believe how amazing it can be and then at the same time realizing how Amazing it was at the beginning and realizing that now we are living through our ego and for a week at a time it is so very good again, but now we are just waiting for the next time for the running to begin.
At least you guys are working through your stuff together... that is Great!!
I know I have said things to my TF that came from ego and i wish i could take back but can't..
so hard to let go of the ego and get back to what it was like at the start..
hang in there, everything happens for a reason and this has helped me..
If it is said or done out of love, then it is from your TF.. if it comes from a place of pain, hurt, anger or anything but love.. it is from the ego.

All the best Seachild