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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Healing

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  #11  
Old 22-09-2018, 10:28 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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I do understand John. Crushing broken heart. There were times I could only put one foot in front of the other. I couldn't bear to think of the next minute. Such incredible sadness. My heart goes out to you.

Yes, our children can do a lot of damage to us. Or at least try to. They know us best. And they know how to get under our skin. I finally had to break ties with my daughter and son. My daughter, especially, did things that were cruel and meant to hurt. I took it for about 7 or 8 years before I asked her to leave. We haven't seen one another or spoken since.

I wish my kids the best, really I do, but I cannot be around them.
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  #12  
Old 22-09-2018, 11:42 PM
john1974 john1974 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 91
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by linen53
I do understand John. Crushing broken heart. There were times I could only put one foot in front of the other. I couldn't bear to think of the next minute. Such incredible sadness. My heart goes out to you.

Yes, our children can do a lot of damage to us. Or at least try to. They know us best. And they know how to get under our skin. I finally had to break ties with my daughter and son. My daughter, especially, did things that were cruel and meant to hurt. I took it for about 7 or 8 years before I asked her to leave. We haven't seen one another or spoken since.

I wish my kids the best, really I do, but I cannot be around them.

linen the same thing happened me with him many years ago and we were separated for 7 years because of this i had to walk away for my safety.
and he is back in my life 3 or 4 years now and slowly overtime his old ways set back in.. i have wrote my thoughts out done all types of inquiry to remove my triggers and hopefully change whats in me to hold down a relationship with him.. when he doesnt get what he wants or his own way i can that entity in him through the tantrum. and for some reason i cant get past this thing. and it reminds me of the many worse things he did to me many years ago, it just bring all the burning pain back and i cant seem to get past it. i have no realized i have done all i could with him and my only option is to distance myself to see if this brings about a change in him as i dont want to walk away again on him. thanks for replying to me post
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  #13  
Old 23-09-2018, 12:12 AM
sea-dove sea-dove is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,488
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by linen53
I do understand John. Crushing broken heart. There were times I could only put one foot in front of the other. I couldn't bear to think of the next minute. Such incredible sadness. My heart goes out to you.

Yes, our children can do a lot of damage to us. Or at least try to. They know us best. And they know how to get under our skin. I finally had to break ties with my daughter and son. My daughter, especially, did things that were cruel and meant to hurt. I took it for about 7 or 8 years before I asked her to leave. We haven't seen one another or spoken since.

I wish my kids the best, really I do, but I cannot be around them.


Someone told me that both my children where dark souls when they were very little. It was something I never paid any attention to but its something I now that they are adults do wonder about.

I do have a lot of issues with them.. well one of them esp. the other does horrible things eg animal cruelity stuff I wouldnt mention here, very repulsive but Im more able to block her families doings out there and not let her personally affect me. (I think of her as being very dark and very light at the same time).

My other daughter, she hates me (past life issue there) and she is very cruel to me. A doctor called her malicious when she was only 4 years old due to her behaviour towards me which he witnessed during a doctors visit (dr couldnt handle her). This child even used to scare me by telling me that she'd kill me when I was asleep.

I still try to have a relationship with the child, now adult who hates me and refuses to see me or talk to me but I certainly wont make a big deal out of it. I can love her however she is and that is truly what matters. Some times we need to just let go.

One thing I did draw the line with with that child/adult is us living together, I could not live with anyone who puts out hate and malice all the time towards me. To top it off she has strong psychic gifts she's able to use against me and isnt against psychic manipulation and mind games.. urgh. (im sure she's used her mental connection against me at times, she's quite capable of using her energy to "will" people to do things (she has no respect for boundries) or creating her reality (as a child she showed me how she could change the traffic lights at will) .. and as she can also see auras very well, she can tell exactly what she's doing to me emotionally.. further something she can use to hurt me..

I was put into the situation of where I had to move back home after telling my daughter she could live there as she had nowhere to go after she lost the place she'd been renting. So I ended up having no choice but to tell her she'd have to find another place when I had no choice but to go back there. (unfortunately that just further has fueled her hate but living with her is highly damaging to me). I actually think my child may of cursed me (my life is full of constant bad luck and chaos to the point where my friends tell me that they could do a soapie on my life and wouldnt have to be making anything up. I deal with major dramas almost every single day .

For example.. this week my father has gone crazy and ended up back in mental hospital. I was the first family member he again exhibited symptoms too in his latest mental health break, started to go crazy at my place (wanting to take photos of the grey patches of my head but then not have me in the photos) then he went off and wrote off a car which the cops then found crashed and abandoned on the freeway. I've also had a court case on this week, Im being charged for something where as Im actually the victim!! (Ive been trying to fight this in court, fight not to be wrongly charged for over 2 years) but I cant prove im the victim.

I having major issues getting the care support I need and have had approved but still havent got. Im extremely disabled with physical health conditions at only 45 years old to the point where i cant take care of myself (maybe another part of a curse?). This morning.. I just had a terrible run in with someone online who got majorly abusive for no good reason at me online (I ended up in tears due to this stranger who mailed me and was so horrible the hate.. it wasnt at this website, it was that which has just brought me here, I need to be around "nice" people).

Nearly every single day, I have major drama Im trying to deal with, it leaves me with no time to focus on myself and well being, (Im so run down with my own issues that I no longer can do healings on others etc etc). I have no time or energy to be focusing on my yogi meditations for spiritual development. I think I have been cursed possibly by my psychically skilled child (or maybe its by a group which psychically attacked me in the past, I got attacked after refusing to join a group who told me they were a branch of the illuminati, they told me I needed to join them for protection as they said I would be harmed but I believe it may of been them theirselves who almost killed me by a psychic attack after refusing to join them. They did not feel "good" "right". This was all before I became disabled). I cant believe that all the "constant" major trouble Im having is "normal" "natural" and I wish I didnt think that this "may" be coming from my daughter.
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  #14  
Old 23-09-2018, 12:33 AM
john1974 john1974 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 91
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sea-dove
Someone told me that both my children where dark souls when they were very little. It was something I never paid any attention to but its something I now that they are adults do wonder about.

I do have a lot of issues with them.. well one of them esp. the other does horrible things eg animal cruelity stuff I wouldnt mention here, very repulsive but Im more able to block her families doings out there and not let her personally affect me. (I think of her as being very dark and very light at the same time).

My other daughter, she hates me (past life issue there) and she is very cruel to me. A doctor called her malicious when she was only 4 years old due to her behaviour towards me which he witnessed during a doctors visit (dr couldnt handle her). This child even used to scare me by telling me that she'd kill me when I was asleep.

I still try to have a relationship with the child, now adult who hates me and refuses to see me or talk to me but I certainly wont make a big deal out of it. I can love her however she is and that is truly what matters. Some times we need to just let go.

One thing I did draw the line with with that child/adult is us living together, I could not live with anyone who puts out hate and malice all the time towards me. To top it off she has strong psychic gifts she's able to use against me and isnt against psychic manipulation and mind games.. urgh. (im sure she's used her mental connection against me at times, she's quite capable of using her energy to "will" people to do things (she has no respect for boundries) or creating her reality (as a child she showed me how she could change the traffic lights at will) .. and as she can also see auras very well, she can tell exactly what she's doing to me emotionally.. further something she can use to hurt me..

I was put into the situation of where I had to move back home after telling my daughter she could live there as she had nowhere to go after she lost the place she'd been renting. So I ended up having no choice but to tell her she'd have to find another place when I had no choice but to go back there. (unfortunately that just further has fueled her hate but living with her is highly damaging to me). I actually think my child may of cursed me (my life is full of constant bad luck and chaos to the point where my friends tell me that they could do a soapie on my life and wouldnt have to be making anything up).
Before awakening I would never have seen this stuff in him or maybe I did and I thought that's what love was.. things is different now for me sea-dove. I see his selfishness I see he doesn't even love me if I'm brutally honest and that just sends a pain shooting into my heart..he cares for know one only himself and his friends he is 24 and lives with his mum. And she spoilt him when he was younger and gave him everything for a easy life.. so I'm fortunate to not have him living with me and this might come across negative but that just how it is in the reality with him.. he to has lots of anger towards me and I can honestly feel he doesn't love me.. there's seeing the truth and then there really seeing. Isn't it incredible how a child that you brought into the world .can hate there own mother or father.
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  #15  
Old 23-09-2018, 01:00 AM
sea-dove sea-dove is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 1,488
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by john1974
Before awakening I would never have seen this stuff in him or maybe I did and I thought that's what love was.. things is different now for me sea-dove. I see his selfishness I see he doesn't even love me if I'm brutally honest and that just sends a pain shooting into my heart..he cares for know one only himself and his friends he is 24 and lives with his mum. And she spoilt him when he was younger and gave him everything for a easy life.. so I'm fortunate to not have him living with me and this might come across negative but that just how it is in the reality with him.. he to has lots of anger towards me and I can honestly feel he doesn't love me.. there's seeing the truth and then there really seeing. Isn't it incredible how a child that you brought into the world .can hate there own mother or father.

I do understand it to a degree as far as my daughter goes, I lead to her death in another life when she was only about 3 years old due to not stopping her abuse and also was part of it. Obviously she needs to heal from that at some point and till she does, she may not change towards me. (I dont know if she remembers what I did or knows why she hates me but I wouldnt be surprised if she remembers to). In a way remembering that past life has made her "malice" towards me easier to deal with though of cause it still really emotionally hurts that someone I love, hates me.

There may be things you are not aware of which are playing a part in your sons feelings towards you, very deep things (my daughters father cause I left him and he was very bitter towards me then, negatively influenced her towards me too while she was growing up but things go way deeper then that).

Most are naturally selfish in their human bodies, a part of the ego and feeling separation. Im not trying to play down your sons treatment of you but its true. If there isnt a deeper hidden issue, he may love you but in a selfish way and not understand when you do not respond in the way he'd like. I know my mother loves me though she's not good at all at showing this and doesnt act in ways which a mother should act towards her child (abandonment). Ive had to do much healing on myself, I wasnt healed from the way my mother loved till I was about 35 years old. I can now completely accept her for the way she is.

Its far harder to connect when one is resonating to very different energies. I think it helped me to think of my daughter and some of my other family members as "spiritual children" .. she has a lot of growing to do yet. As a spiritual child, I try to take my daughters emotions and negatively, like a 3 or 4 year old child who knows no better may act out and hence try hard to not let them affect me. We've got to walk our walk and hope they will catch up and find their real love.
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  #16  
Old 23-09-2018, 01:13 AM
john1974 john1974 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2015
Posts: 91
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by sea-dove
I do understand it to a degree as far as my daughter goes, I lead to her death in another life when she was only about 3 years old due to not stopping her abuse and also was part of it. Obviously she needs to heal from that at some point and till she does, she may not change towards me. (I dont know if she remembers what I did or knows why she hates me but I wouldnt be surprised if she remembers to). In a way remembering that past life has made her "malice" towards me easier to deal with though of cause it still really emotionally hurts that someone I love, hates me.

There may be things you are not aware of which are playing a part in your sons feelings towards you, very deep things (my daughters father cause I left him and he was very bitter towards me then, negatively influenced her towards me too while she was growing up but things go way deeper then that).

Most are naturally selfish in their human bodies, a part of the ego and feeling separation. Im not trying to play down your sons treatment of you but its true. If there isnt a deeper hidden issue, he may love you but in a selfish way and not understand when you do not respond in the way he'd like. I know my mother loves me though she's not good at all at showing this and doesnt act in ways which a mother should act towards her child (abandonment). Ive had to do much healing on myself, I wasnt healed from the way my mother loved till I was about 35 years old.

Its far harder to connect when one is resonating to very different energies. I think it helped me to think of my daughter and some of my other family members as "spiritual children" .. she has a lot of growing to do yet. As a spiritual child, I try to take my daughters emotions and negatively, like a 3 or 4 year old child who knows no better may act out and hence try hard to not let them affect me. We've got to walk our walk and hope they will catch up and find their real love.
Yes I see the spiritual child sea done and it makes sense what you say about being on different energies this resonates with me... I get the feeling he feels he was never loved by me for walking out of his life many years ago..or maybe it's even a past life thing I'm not sure to be honest..but I'm hoping in distancing myself he will change his behaviours towards me. It very difficult to walk away on your child but sometimes one is left with no other choice until and if they catch up.
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  #17  
Old 24-09-2018, 03:59 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 14,332
 
Lol, my daughter has a past life issue with me as well. She resents me because I commit suicide in that past life and left her to fend for herself with our overbearing father. She died a spinster, I believe.

So this life has been full-force revenge. I do understand. But this is her issue, not mine. I never intentionally hurt her. I had been raped in that lifetime and if my father found out I was not a virgin all hell would have broken out. We both feared our father. Our mother had died earlier so we had his full wrath when he was displeased.

I do wish my daughter and my son the best in this life, but I cannot and will not let them disrespect me. sea-dove, there were issues of my son an daughter's step-mother (she had once been my best friend) talking negatively about me for years while my children were growing up so they grew up with her nasty seeds that she planted.

John, my son and I separated many years ago when he married his first wife. We got into an argument and separated. We got back together about 10 years later and tried to patch things up but quite honestly, there was no trust. And without trust, there is no relationship. It is what it is: a damaged relationship. No matter that was a mother-son relationship. The bonds of such a close relationship were not strong enough to hold us together.

Someday when all three of us are on the other side, if they are willing, I'd like to sit down and reconcile. By then they will understand much more and I will be able to explain where I was coming from. But it won't happen in this lifetime.
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  #18  
Old 24-09-2018, 04:01 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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Join Date: Sep 2013
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Quote:
Originally Posted by john1974
I'm hoping in distancing myself he will change his behaviours towards me. It very difficult to walk away on your child but sometimes one is left with no other choice until and if they catch up.

Nothing you do is going to change your son. He has to do the changing. I know how much this is tearing you apart but you need to accept there is nothing you can do but pray.
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  #19  
Old 24-09-2018, 11:12 PM
john1974 john1974 is offline
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And I thought I was the only one who had walk away on their child...
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  #20  
Old 24-09-2018, 11:43 PM
linen53 linen53 is offline
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You are not alone. It's one of the most heartbreaking things I've ever had to do. I feel so cheated.
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