I want to break up, but still love him

[alecia1993]

Advice what to do after brake up, how to deal with this sadness?

[alfiewhitnell]

If you love him, may I ask why you are wanting to break up? Just so I can help a little more, as very short detail.

Yes, it's a sad story to hear but....why?

...

[Clover]

Sometimes it's not even about the love you have for the other person, it's your attachment to them.Where you are with your partner now is usually as a good as it's going to get. Accept the relationship for what it is in the now or move on. There is no in between or better option, anything else is whining, imho

Meanwhile, if you break up. Keep yourself busy with your true passions.Many make the mistake and date right after a break up, this could back fire and cause additional stress. Get you know yourself independently, find ways to remain positive and allow yourself to mourn the relationship if need to.

You get to choose

[GaiaGoddess]

i can relate to this so much! i almost ended my relationship a few days ago but i just couldn't go through with it because, well , i just couldn't. i love him but I know he isn't good for me. i am good for him though, and i have this side of me that feels like i need to be here for him. i would love to hear more details about your relationship. As for how to deal with the sadness, honestly and this is horrible advice but I take Xanax for the real bad days. I drink a lot of herbal teas that are supposed to improve your mood, I take a lot of mood enhancing supplements but none of that stuff works like the Xanax, lol I really think time is the only healer. But i am still curious to learn more about your situation, it might be similar to mine and then i would be able to relate better.

[zacksmith9292]

Originally Posted by Clover

Sometimes it's not even about the love you have for the other person, it's your attachment to them.Where you are with your partner now is usually as a good as it's going to get. Accept the relationship for what it is in the now or move on. There is no in between or better option, anything else is whining, imho

Meanwhile, if you break up. Keep yourself busy with your true passions.Many make the mistake and date right after a break up, this could back fire and cause additional stress. Get you know yourself independently, find ways to remain positive and allow yourself to mourn the relationship if need to.

You get to choose

And sometimes giving barely any information will lead to receiving arbitrary advice that does not really apply. I have no idea how you can conclude anything about their relationship.

Anyway, to deal with sadness, try regular (as in daily) meditation. Go for walks, write down your thoughts in a journal. Talk to close friends and family. Listen to music. Keep up your normal routine and force yourself to do the things you enjoy.

[Stargazer]

The inverse is what I did and provided a novel of my backstory with the man I love...no one has said a word.

Anyway, Alecia1993, I know what you're feeling and why you're struggling to move on. <3 I wish I had some advise or wise words but I don't. I hope time helps you move on if that's what your path is. *hugs*

[Sarian]

A long relationship I had broke up...I see positives to it ending but for whatever reason(s)...the sorrow I'm having is getting worse, not better. :-( It sucks.

[Stargazer]

I know the feeling Sarian.

[Rozie]

That song by Sonny and Cher..."Love Will Keep us Together" is a bit idealistic. Sometimes you can't live with all the other problems.

The love is true, but so is love of self. You have to look out for number 1. Sometimes we have to cut bait. That doesn't mean the love goes away.

Time heals, but it is best to go 'no contact'... That is what has worked for me.