Question

[DARKEST_HOUR]

If you're still in love with your soulmate/twin, why would you marry someone else? It doesn't make any sense to me.

PS. I' think I'm a runner.

[FairyCrystal]

Honestly, I don't get that one either. It's not fair to the new person. It's not right to marry someone when you still love / are in love with another. If you think about that happening to you, awful!
I understand that at some level there will be a connection if someone is truly your TF but you don't have to let that rule your life.
I'm not with my TF anymore, the connection doesn't bother me either. I don't notice it. I think I dealt with it that it will only exist on a higher level, that I'm protected from feeling it on a day to day level. I seriously do NOT want it to ruin my life. It was a conscious decision.
And it works, as long as we're not in touch, and we aren't.
Not sure how it will go when I meet someone new, if things come up or not. But I'm going for a great love, the right guy for me.
If I felt I couldn't wholeheartedly love a man I'd stay single. I wouldn't want to ruin someone for life, break and damage their heart and trust, by getting involved while I was still in love with another.
I guess it's about principles, integrity, norms & values.

[DARKEST_HOUR]

I believe she was my real twin, I met a false twin a few years back that devastated me but the love was different in this one. Needless to say I ran from it after almost 3 years of being together as I felt unworthy but I never stopped loving her. After a year and half hiatus, I looked her up and saw she got married.

Originally Posted by DARKEST_HOUR

I believe she was my real twin, I met a false twin a few years back that devastated me but the love was different in this one. Needless to say I ran from it after almost 3 years of being together as I felt unworthy but I never stopped loving her. After a year and half hiatus, I looked her up and saw she got married.

You ran from her? What did you expect her to do? Perhaps from that, she concluded that you weren't worthy. Did you expect her to carry on "loving" you after you deserted her? Why would she marry someone else? Could it be because she found she loved them? And that they were more reliable? Love is transferable after all.

You don't tell much of a story here but was she aware of being your "twin flame" and agreed to abide by its precepts?

Sad it may be but I think you have to take a good part of the blame for your predicament. I can't know how ardently she tried to return or what you did after ditching her. Feeling unworthy can inspire immense courage and determination to prove the opposite. We all have choices.

However, were a man to ditch me he'd never get back in my life. Life's too short. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

The positive side is that you've learned several lessons. One has to be that twin flame is just a set of beliefs and can only work (in the rare cases it does) when both parties agree to work toward its precepts. Another is that you truly can't expect someone to wait around in case you change your mind and then "forgive" you for running away.

Wishing that you heal soon.

[Miko]

Because you ran. You can't expect people to put their lives on hold for you. Women want companionship and love. If a TF can't provide that, they will get it elsewhere, whether it be from a soulmate, kindred soul or karmic.

[DARKEST_HOUR]

You guys sound really bitter. My question was more about why would you want to be with someone or marry someone while constantly thinking about another man, and logging onto forums discussing about it. How is that fair to the third party?

Originally Posted by DARKEST_HOUR

You guys sound really bitter. My question was more about why would you want to be with someone or marry someone while constantly thinking about another man, and logging onto forums discussing about it. How is that fair to the third party?

No bitterness, but you're conning yourself - there's no more delicate way to say it. How can you know she's thinking constantly about another man (presumably you). Constantly?
You can't be within her mind if you've done a runner so how could you know that? Her posts on forums may be to keep up appearances. No one could answer that without knowing what's being discussed, with whom, etc.
There are many reasons someone in her situation would get married. Stability, constancy - certainly better than someone liable to run at any time; wants to build a home; money; on the rebound? You don't necessarily have to love to marry. Many don't.
.
So no bitterness just the practicality.

[Ciona]

Along with what Lorelyen said, you can also love more than one person at the same time. Like it or not, there's no law.

I'll not be sharing my views on her posting in forums as I'm quite extreme in that regard, when it comes to the personal freedoms of adults.

Also, this may not include her, but some women simply can't fathom life without a 'relationship.' Many line men up so they always have one on the back burner, just in case.

[DARKEST_HOUR]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

No bitterness, but you're conning yourself - there's no more delicate way to say it. How can you know she's thinking constantly about another man (presumably you). Constantly?
You can't be within her mind if you've done a runner so how could you know that? Her posts on forums may be to keep up appearances. No one could answer that without knowing what's being discussed, with whom, etc.
There are many reasons someone in her situation would get married. Stability, constancy - certainly better than someone liable to run at any time; wants to build a home; money; on the rebound? You don't necessarily have to love to marry. Many don't.
.
So no bitterness just the practicality.

I'm not just referring to my case, but the millions of others in this predicament. Just reading thousands of these threads gives me an understanding of what women go through so that's where my "constantly" comes from. So I'd just like some input from women who have gotten married in this scenario. Besides the typical, "Well you ran, what do you expect", or "Life goes on", there is still a 3rd party that suffers in the end if your heart is not 100% invested. You claim many don't love for marriage? Well then, what's the point?

[DARKEST_HOUR]

Originally Posted by Ciona

.

Also, this may not include her, but some women simply can't fathom life without a 'relationship.' Many line men up so they always have one on the back burner, just in case.

This makes more sense to me.