Yaaaayyyyy!!!!! Higher self guide frustrations thread anyone..?
Apologies I've started off in such a strange manner, what I mean to start with here is, Slayer, you are not the only one here frustrated and exasperated by your guides, or the concept of guides in general.
I've felt the same way in a way, though not entirely. I mean here I do not hold any blame for my own circumstances for my guide or guides, as I am seriously at a point of doubting the things even exist.
Like Battle I have seen things to exist. I have seen Demons, I have seen an what most would call an Arch-Demon, I have never seen an Angel, I have no idea what Angels are or are supposed to even be- No I don't want to hear from others telling me of what they are considered to be in the bible- All I know is I've never seen one.
Only unlike Battle perhaps, I wouldn't know as I have not heard his experiences, I have found that the demons I have seen both the one's I simply call demons, and the what I would call an Arch-Demon or hella bigger thing, Are not only able to be seen physically, that I am not the only person able to see them, in the case of the normal black eyed demons I've seen, I know this for fact because my brother told me he has seen one too, not only that but in the case of the smaller ones and "the other one..." I have found that if they do appear in physical form, they can be touched, they can touch you back, they can attack you physically play with windows and other things/objects physically etc. How do I know? I've done it, terrified like most could not imagine I summoned the courage within myself to try it. Even the Arch Demon, or at least I tried, too powerful for me to get too close to, but it was solid.
I have seen those, I have never seen an Angel, but I had an experience where I heard what sounded like a thousand and one angelic beings, all all singing, harmonically in what can be described as a vibratory sound, easily distinguishable from each other- the individual voices of the angelic beings- but not in words.
But as for guides? Honestly even if they exist I find I do not really have much of a need for them- of course I really don't and didn't need the experiences with the demonic either for Godsake.....God knows how I feel about that.
I often read mediums use their guides to connect to passed relatives or relate information between spirits, or act as a buffer to keep other spirits at bay, and I have had a couple successful mediumship practices with others, and quite a few experiences with my own passed relatives, and never remotely used a guide for any of those purposes. I have never visualized my guide during energy or astrological psychic development readings either.
I do not feel a presence of a guide during all this, though I do feel a strong presence, I call it God. I feel and see the information I receive, I always give all the credit for it to God. That is, I actually literally feel during readings for others that the information itself is coming directly from God. There is no intervening messenger spirit called a guide.
I have no other way to explain it.
I did practice a guide exercise which I have written about here on more than one occasion. During the original guide exercise where one is to visualize a park, hear approaching through the grass, and a guide is supposed to step forth. Someone did step forth in the exercise, A tall man with black clothing, black hair and blue eyes. A few weeks after this I did an exercise called a probable self meditation, during this I was supposed to cross a bridge and on the other side would be my probable self. (Anybody even know what a Probable self is supposed to be?) where I would then ask the probable self questions. I got to the middle of the bridge and before reaching the other side there appeared my guide, or the guide that appeared during the guide exercise. Only this was a probable self exercise and this was my guide.
I have asked here about this before, I've asked how my guide could also be my probable self and what that means, and no real answers offered. I was only told to communicate to it. ????????
I don't use my guide like others talk about here or in quite the same way. I don't ask it advice about my life. And if I asked it hey how come you're my guide and my probable self at the same time what does that mean? Am I supposed to take it's answer seriously? How do I know what is said isn't just me answering myself in my head with my own thoughts? And... further if it would simply be me answering myself, can't you all just imagine what my answer will be?
Ah but seriously, right now Slayer I've given up on the whole idea of a guide.
The only one I've got, is a guide whom doubles as a probable self, whom I asked of him his name I got the word Bastion, I look up what Bastion means,
And the definition is this:
1. Noun a projecting part of a fortification built at an angle to the line of a wall, so as to allow defensive fire in several directions.
an institution, place, or person strongly defending or upholding particular principles, attitudes, or activities.
Whatever that is supposed to mean.
Slayer, I see nothing utterly wrong with you blaming your higher self, guides or whatever other spiritual helper you wish to. It is a natural feeling to want to have something to vent at. And if all of us truly do have guides, I feel if it is an actual guide or guides and not a trickier being, it truly probably wont care one bit if you blame it anyway. I don't feel guides take things so personally in the way we do.
As for my guide, I don't often try to communicate with him much. He swears when I hear him or a male thought I get sometimes which I now simply attribute to him. He doesn't actually swear at me or call me names or say anything derogatory, but the male voice thought does use curse words as if a human being like any of us here might. The thought sounds male, human, and well he talks as if he was one.
I do not hear this voice often. The last time I heard it he told me to tell a woman walking in front of me on the sidewalk up to the curb to Stop! I argued I'd embarrass myself he said he was serious do it, do it now, it doesn't matter that one way or the other I'd embarrass myself anyway- I think he meant there would possibly be more embarrassing moments in my life, and it is not like I never have before anyway. So after I realized, that that was true I have embarrassed myself before and it wasn't the very end of the world, and seeing that now a days I don't care more than half as much what others think, I randomly coughed out the word right rudely, and the women halted at the corner to turn and look at me, just short of walking her carriage with infant into the vehicle that had turned then around the curb.
That is the last experience I had when communicating with my guide only I didn't actively try to communicate with him or ask him questions about my life path, or when will I have a relationship? Rather he blatantly interrupted me while walking to the store. to tell me to holler at someone.
I actually was seriously not remotely going to listen to him or it thinking that this guide is made up, guides are made up, and for all I know this voice is just me being crazy, but he actually started to shout the word Please! Please! Please! Tell her to stop. And he was actually begging, so I took it a little more seriously.
Like the guide actually sounded like he was getting upset.
Kinda freaked me out..
So I am on the fence about guides, particularly about whether or not they exist. But I understand why you felt the want to blame someone or something slayer, and I do not view that as wrong, and if you truly have guides and they are true guides, I do not feel something like that would bother them too much.
I mean, perhaps they do not take things as personally as we do.