Standing in my Truth

[Xan]

I remember clearly the family holiday dinner when I stood up to my older brother's put downs and gave him a good dose back... that one time only. He didn't speak to me for a year after that, and I missed him but said nothing. Then we became friends again on a more equal basis.

It's worth the discomfort and loneliness to establish your equality and dignity.


Xan

[Silver]

I know you did the right thing, but it doesn't matter whether one believes or not if they're sending out a 'message' of supposedly being a victim. I've never bought that. It puts responsibility for the bullying on the victim, which is dead wrong, sometimes literally so. We gonna blame the beaten-up people or the murdered victim for the murderer's doings? I don't think so. I whole-heartedly support your actions, Auntymia, in finally standing up to them, big hugs from me.

[Xan]

I agree, Silvergirl... Even when we play a role of victim we are merely acting out our unconscious conditioning. Blaming oneself is victimizing oneself further, and we've had enough of that already.

However, taking responsibility for 'how I choose to be Now' frees us from all that.


Xan

[NightSpirit]

Originally Posted by Auntymia

I am a 44 year old single woman with two adult children aged 20 and 23. I have been bullied all my life by my father and older brother. I have let them get away with this bullying just to keep the peace with my family. After the latest episode of bullying from my brother I decided that I don't have to put up with his **** anymore. All of a sudden everyone around me started blaming me for breaking up the family and my mother "told me" to make up with my brother as this was causing her pain. I refused and stated that my brother needed to apologise to me as I hadn't done anything wrong. I have put a stand to this as I have had a realisation. Since I have allowed my father and brother to bully me all my life, I have actually attracted partners in my life that are bullies. I've decided to stay strong and firm on my commitment of not being bullied as I hope to meet a loving partner in the near future that is nothing like my brother and father. I have found standing in your truth can be a lonely path. I'm happy with where I am now as I feel empowered, I just hope people around me will understand why I am making this stand. Has anyone else experienced the lonlieness of standing in your truth?

All the time, but its also freeing. Stick with it

Good for you!! Choosing to end toxic dysfunctional relationships with family members is hard but the right thing to do. Realizing that you were stuck in a pattern of being abused and attracting partners who were abusive is great!! Walking away from old patterns to rewrite your future can be hard, but so totally worth it. You deserve happiness and love!! It will come your way!! Start by standing in the mirror and telling that person that you see that she is worthy of love and is a loving person. Nurture that little girl inside. Tell her that she is loved and is now protected from abuse.

What Laura said.

Originally Posted by Silvergirl

I know you did the right thing, but it doesn't matter whether one believes or not if they're sending out a 'message' of supposedly being a victim. I've never bought that. It puts responsibility for the bullying on the victim, which is dead wrong, sometimes literally so. We gonna blame the beaten-up people or the murdered victim for the murderer's doings?

John Grinder, co-creator of NLP once said something like "Can you imagine a world without blame?"

Take away blame and responsibility becomes empowering.

you are absolutely right in whatever you are doing....standing for oneself and respecting oneself is the most important realization of today.....