Walking between two different worlds

[Colorado]

First, I would like to ask if anybody else here has had psychic experiences....it does t matter if they started later in life, or if you were born with them.

This is very hard for me to explain, I've had no help from family and friends..or anyone. This is one of the very few boards I will even speak of my experiences on with anonymity.

Many people think having these experiences is neat, or makes one powerful, special, ect. It doesn't...

From my experiences, it makes one, especially who has not worked with, or been able to have any guidance...vulnerable every day. I'm from a small, religious, farming community...where these things do not exist, or they are of the devil.



I just want explain what I have felt and gone through.

First of all, there's nothing like dreaming about future events, weather, or people....then it happens just like the dream, every color, every wall, every tiny minute detail. ..and then it happening...and you have nobody to tell.

Or being in mid conversation with someone, and seeing images over their face, or above their heads...that last a few seconds and then leaves. Only to find out what you saw was an even they are going through or something that has happened to them in the past.

Or to be warned of someone's death...or to wake up with a person who has recently died, sitting on your bed talking to you.

Or to be awakened in the middle of the night, to laughter, talking or white flashes of light....or surges of energy that are not your own...and emotions that are not your own.

I am like a walking screen window. Things come in and out, all day.

I've desperately tried to search books, and the Internet for protection...and none of them work for me. My nervous system seems be on overdrive, and I sleep on average 2-3 hours at night, wake up, and then fall asleep two hours before work.

I can not live in negativity, or a negative environment...the bad vibes cause neurological distress, and my mind to fog, and my emotions to go haywire. I can't even be within a few feet of someone going through hardships, because the energy causes me the same feelings. I know it's not their fault, but the negative energy takes over my entire well being.

It can stay for several hours....and God forbid, don't try to shake it off with alcohol.

I have push myself to go into public places, like Walmart, shopping, my children's schools, ect. I get extremely agitated around so many different energy fluctuations.

I often stay home, and do my own thing, where I'm not being consumed by different energy. It's survival to me.

When I'm around large cities, shops, stores, and public places...I can easily and often pick up negative energy, and my mind associates it with something bad that has happened to me in the past...and thus can be very difficult and cause problems because the energy is very dense and hard to differentiate. I might mistakenly associate it with old baggage or skeletons that have been long buried, and bring them back up...thinking I haven't forgiven or forgotten and it needs to be dealt with again....when it's not the problem, I have run across someone else who is going through a similar situation and picked it up, unknowingly.

Sometimes, I pick up so much energy, that my nervous becomes so overwhelmed...that I can not logically tell what is affecting me, what is not...or if it's real, or not.

In a desperate move, I keep Epsom salt, holy wood and sage...it's like grabbing for an inhaler when having an asthma attack.

I hate being this way, it's affects your whole life. People want to know why you are "overly" sensitive, or closed off, or why you let things bother you that others don't care about. It's simple...I can't be like many others, and be open...or I will have a complete nervous and mental shock.

Please tell me there are others like this on this board....and tell me how you cope with the nervousness, panic attacks that come out of nowhere...how are we suppose to live in this world and have normal lives?

This is not living, in a prayer yesterday....I told God, the way I am...makes me want to die.

I'm not suicidal, or depressed....I'm sick of it. I'm tired of it.

Yes, it's neat to have these experiences....it's not neat...to live with the baggage that goes along with it. The experiences last a few seconds or minutes...but hyper sensitivity, and nervous system is torture, and last all the time.

I want to go outside, and be around others, laugh, gossip, have lunch...and live my life, like others get to. I don't want to worry, or pick up their emotional problems, or be affected by every emotion, thought, feeling, ect.

It ain't worth it.

I want to wake up happy, and excited about life....not worried about what the day will bring.

And mind you...nobody even has to tell me their problems(even though many feel inclined to) I just pick it up, and it's not their fault. I pick it up, and it's not mine....but it affects me like it's mine. It's not mine, but it feels like it's mine. And it confuses me, and it brings me problems that aren't mine. If I am not alone, then I become moody....especially if around people who are not well, or going through some kind of hardship...and that's about everybody, so I try to be alone as much as possible. When Imget home from work, I don't want to be around my family. I'm exhausted, and it's not my job...work is easy, it's the constant flow of people and energies coming in and out of my work...and one of my coworkers is an alcoholic, with death and abuse constantly around him...and he works 5 ft from me. His gf just died, and now his friend...his emotions are 5 ft from me, with the smell of alcohol...he's not in a good place, and I genuinely care for him as a person, but the energy is too much. I end up upset, cussing, and wanting to quit my job, out of the blue, for no reason...because that energy creeps up on me. Just yesterday, another lady came to help with my job, do some extensive training(management) she has a lot of experience...within an hour of working with her, I had to get away from her, I wanted to quit....Only to find out her dad is dying of cancer, and she has been going through a rough time, mentally, financially, and emotionally with her entire family. I went to lunch, and was extremely agitated...then she left...after she apologized for going round hard time. But it wasn't her, she couldnt help it...she was trying to be positive, but I could feel the vibes, and became overwhelmed and unable to cope. When she left, I was okay.

Also, I busy working one day when I first started my job 4 months ago..., and I felt like crying for no reason. So I stopped, took a break...and tried to reason why I was feeling so sad...then in a state of pause and quietness...I realized my honky tonk country boss loves sad, depressed music on the radio. The "dance" by Garth Brooks gets played over and over all day, along with other sad, depressing music. The same sad songs are being played over and over, every day. Maybe I should find another job in management somewhere else...my husband has got to the point, of not asking me to go anywhere with him, and instead takes our sons. He also comes into our room, with food, and watches Netflix with me every night...and it has to be happy stuff, if he wants to spend time with me after work, because to takes so long for me to shake off everything.

I need help��

[Jyotir]

Hi Colorado,

This is not living, in a prayer yesterday....I told God, the way I am...makes me want to die. I'm not suicidal, or depressed....I'm sick of it. I'm tired of it.

Do you see the conflict there?

The problem can't be solved by employing more of the problem...describing it, re-living it. That is the 'baggage' - the holding on to it.
Of course that can be overwhelming.

Accordingly your post could have gone on for pages describing the minutiae of countless experiences; the shock in endless detail of all the ignorance that touches one's life. And all of that is there whether conscious of it or not. But you are. And it is impossible to transform any of it in others (externally) unless it is first transformed in oneself.

Your sensitivity is revealing the conditional ignorance of the world in and through various interactions and contacts, which seems like a curse, but it is really a blessing. It is a reflection of an inability to resolve the negativity within oneself that you now have the opportunity to address. It's a wake-up call. You've begun to recognize that as evidenced by the sheer discomfort level. iow...Why carry those heavy bags?
Like you say, you're sick and tired of it. So let go.

The question then becomes, how? How to transform the experience of it, that ignorance, in your own life?

It seems that the cultivation of detachment might help, and suggesting that meditation which is a good way to cultivate detachment might be effective. Detachment allows for peace and peace creates receptivity to light, and further transformation of consciousness. Things like Epsom salts, sage, crystals, etc., by comparison are merely superficial and temporary palliatives. Other methods that augment meditation might include spiritual readings - whatever seems inspiring and useful.



~ J

[Colorado]

Yes, you are right about that...it's taken a long time to detach from things. It does seem I've always been over attached to people, things, and experiences. My doctor gave me some Xanax to deal with anxiety. I just wish that it was easier to see things from the inside out. Im going to save our post, to remind me of my ignorance in detachment....which now that you have brought it up, is playing a very big role in my life right now. I've moved far away from any familiarity for a job, and I'm pretty much on my own....to start new, and detachment is apart of that process. That's also something I have been thinking about as of late. Letting go and having new experiences....and that means in more areas than one.

Enlightening post, Jyotir....thank you.

[John32241]

Originally Posted by Colorado

I want to wake up happy, and excited about life....not worried about what the day will bring.

And mind you...nobody even has to tell me their problems(even though many feel inclined to) I just pick it up, and it's not their fault. I pick it up, and it's not mine....but it affects me like it's mine. It's not mine, but it feels like it's mine. And it confuses me, and it brings me problems that aren't mine. If I am not alone, then I become moody....especially if around people who are not well, or going through some kind of hardship...and that's about everybody, so I try to be alone as much as possible. When Imget home from work, I don't want to be around my family. I'm exhausted, and it's not my job...work is easy, it's the constant flow of people and energies coming in and out of my work...and one of my coworkers is an alcoholic, with death and abuse constantly around him...and he works 5 ft from me. His gf just died, and now his friend...his emotions are 5 ft from me, with the smell of alcohol...he's not in a good place, and I genuinely care for him as a person, but the energy is too much. I end up upset, cussing, and wanting to quit my job, out of the blue, for no reason...because that energy creeps up on me. Just yesterday, another lady came to help with my job, do some extensive training(management) she has a lot of experience...within an hour of working with her, I had to get away from her, I wanted to quit....Only to find out her dad is dying of cancer, and she has been going through a rough time, mentally, financially, and emotionally with her entire family. I went to lunch, and was extremely agitated...then she left...after she apologized for going round hard time. But it wasn't her, she couldnt help it...she was trying to be positive, but I could feel the vibes, and became overwhelmed and unable to cope. When she left, I was okay.

Also, I busy working one day when I first started my job 4 months ago..., and I felt like crying for no reason. So I stopped, took a break...and tried to reason why I was feeling so sad...then in a state of pause and quietness...I realized my honky tonk country boss loves sad, depressed music on the radio. The "dance" by Garth Brooks gets played over and over all day, along with other sad, depressing music. The same sad songs are being played over and over, every day. Maybe I should find another job in management somewhere else...my husband has got to the point, of not asking me to go anywhere with him, and instead takes our sons. He also comes into our room, with food, and watches Netflix with me every night...and it has to be happy stuff, if he wants to spend time with me after work, because to takes so long for me to shake off everything.

I need help��

Hello,

A book called the power of positive thinking comes to mind. It was written many years ago. I never read it, I understood and applied the principal however. These things are not easy if your thought patterns are as you describe them. The real problem is how you frame your experiences, not the experiences them self.

My best friend is a powerful psychic. There is no need to explaine the emotional energies which overwealm you. Yet these things can surely be manager better.

There is some thing called the energy of expectation. What you expect you manifest. You can also learn to elevate and evolve those expectations, that is if you sense you can and desire to do that. May be the 1st thing to evolve is your belief that this can be accomplished.

I hope that these thoughts resonate with you.

John