Healing for Alcohol Abuse

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Green Tree

Considering I can easily (and usually do) drink 2-3 bottles of wine all by myself in the time span of about 2 hours (nightly),

Hi Green Tree. I am an alcoholic, from a family of alcoholics. If the above is true, you are an alcoholic. Great that you did so well yesterday, congrats. Nevertheless you are an addict, and you need the sort of help that an internet chat site cannot provide. I was able to quit for a day or two, many times, over a period of several years. Please do not make the mistake that you can approach your addiction so lightly, or on a day to day basis like this. You need to quit, period. And you need to get rid of all alcohol in your house. And you need to join an AA-type group, or see a counselor, or at the very least speak to a doctor and get them involved. All the best.

[Green Tree]

Originally Posted by Baile

Hi Green Tree. I am an alcoholic, from a family of alcoholics. If the above is true, you are an alcoholic. Great that you did so well yesterday, congrats. Nevertheless you are an addict, and you need the sort of help that an internet chat site cannot provide. I was able to quit for a day or two, many times, over a period of several years. Please do not make the mistake that you can approach your addiction so lightly, or on a day to day basis like this. You need to quit, period. And you need to get rid of all alcohol in your house. And you need to join an AA-type group, or see a counselor, or at the very least speak to a doctor and get them involved. All the best.

Greetings Baile. Thank you for sharing a bit of your own testimony and for offering suggestions on how I may recover over time. Please do not mistake my posting this on a forum board as me taking my situation lightly, likewise, I know that approaching such a serious situation with a cavalier attitude can cause tremendous setbacks - I don't want that.

Alcohol addiction comes with many devious partners, including rationalizations and excuse making (and many others). I have been there before, and like you, I have had many days of being dry over the years and I always go back to the bottle.

That being said, allow me to share my thoughts on the topic of AA. I have tried AA several times, and yes, I "worked" the program, only to return again and again to my addiction. I sought why AA might not be a good fit for me, and I discerned why I cannot participate in such groups. The reason being, is that I do not believe in any way that I am "powerless" and I will not accept that premise. It will ultimately be myself who overcomes the addiction, and so I see "powerlessness" as a bad road - one that doesn't lead to a powerful success story.

Also, I would be sailing along fine for a few days, not want a drink or even thinking about alcohol, and then I'd go to a meeting, where ALL they talk about is alcohol and related topics, thus focusing my mind on alcohol, the very thing I want to not think about. So AA is not an option for me.

Furthermore, I heard a lot of dis-empowering statements in AA groups; things such as... "If you can quit on your own then you were never an addict". I wholeheartedly disagree with such statements. Many years ago I suffered with a cocaine addiction, and I was able to stop all on my own, with prayer and the power of my will. I was told that I was "never an addict" because I was able to quit on my own, thus negating all of the hard work I'd done to get clean - I won't allow such negativity to impact me.

I was using 1-2 OUNCES of cocaine every week (daily) for 4 years STRAIGHT - I was an addict! Thus, when people are ready to surrender their inner strength to an ideal which may not be true for them, and then attempt to foist such ideals onto others it may not be true for, the truth is lost in the ideal, and all other considerations become "excuses" and such.

Yes, I need to quit, period - that is my desire and my firm intention. I have no alcohol in my home (not even cooking wine), and I currently have no desire to drink. I do believe very strongly in "one day at a time" because this day, this hour, is all I have.

I really do appreciate your counsel, and shall seek further counsel from others as well, and I will not hide my addiction because it flourishes in secret (hence this thread). My wife is a huge supporter of me and has stood by me all through everything. She's seen me beat the cocaine addiction and she believes in my ability to quit drinking entirely.

Thanks again :)

GT

[Silver]

Wow, you said a lot of insightful stuff about A.A., GT (Green Tree). I like what you said, makes sense. Years ago, I went to a different type of 12-step meeting and it was a smaller group with a different purpose, so it was used mainly as a gathering place for our common problems, so the religious stuff really never came into play. That's how I remember it anyway - I'd ignore the stuff I felt didn't help. But it's really so true about the fact that that's all they talk about - if you focus on the problem, you can't see the answer. (That's a paraphrase of something the genius guy in Patch Adams said.)

[onetime.onemind]

AA is rooted by spiritual principles, and I always feel better after attending a meeting. The program is a fellowship of men and women whose primary purpose is to stay sober. If your are looking to stay sober, AA is an excellent program and you will meet a bunch of new friends that have dealt with exactly what you are going through.

Love, Bob

[Jmartinez]

Good luck friend I am too coming off of a binge after years of drinking. I suggest trying to meditate and trying to reach out to a higher power other than yourself. I am not suggesting AA but talking to people of similar problems has always helped me me it is a tough battle to fight. It may tale a while to take the mind to calm down but it is possible trying praying every night. Write a gratitude list, go get some sun. Being alone in this battle is hard find people who care. Best of luck my friend

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Green Tree

Greetings Baile. Thank you for sharing a bit of your own testimony and for offering suggestions on how I may recover over time. Please do not mistake my posting this on a forum board as me taking my situation lightly, likewise, I know that approaching such a serious situation with a cavalier attitude can cause tremendous setbacks - I don't want that.

Alcohol addiction comes with many devious partners, including rationalizations and excuse making (and many others). I have been there before, and like you, I have had many days of being dry over the years and I always go back to the bottle.

That being said, allow me to share my thoughts on the topic of AA. I have tried AA several times, and yes, I "worked" the program, only to return again and again to my addiction. I sought why AA might not be a good fit for me, and I discerned why I cannot participate in such groups. The reason being, is that I do not believe in any way that I am "powerless" and I will not accept that premise. It will ultimately be myself who overcomes the addiction, and so I see "powerlessness" as a bad road - one that doesn't lead to a powerful success story.

Also, I would be sailing along fine for a few days, not want a drink or even thinking about alcohol, and then I'd go to a meeting, where ALL they talk about is alcohol and related topics, thus focusing my mind on alcohol, the very thing I want to not think about. So AA is not an option for me.

Furthermore, I heard a lot of dis-empowering statements in AA groups; things such as... "If you can quit on your own then you were never an addict". I wholeheartedly disagree with such statements. Many years ago I suffered with a cocaine addiction, and I was able to stop all on my own, with prayer and the power of my will. I was told that I was "never an addict" because I was able to quit on my own, thus negating all of the hard work I'd done to get clean - I won't allow such negativity to impact me.

I was using 1-2 OUNCES of cocaine every week (daily) for 4 years STRAIGHT - I was an addict! Thus, when people are ready to surrender their inner strength to an ideal which may not be true for them, and then attempt to foist such ideals onto others it may not be true for, the truth is lost in the ideal, and all other considerations become "excuses" and such.

Yes, I need to quit, period - that is my desire and my firm intention. I have no alcohol in my home (not even cooking wine), and I currently have no desire to drink. I do believe very strongly in "one day at a time" because this day, this hour, is all I have.

I really do appreciate your counsel, and shall seek further counsel from others as well, and I will not hide my addiction because it flourishes in secret (hence this thread). My wife is a huge supporter of me and has stood by me all through everything. She's seen me beat the cocaine addiction and she believes in my ability to quit drinking entirely.

Thanks again :)

GT

I used to drink a lot and have bongs for breakfast, showig every sign of addiction, but I stopped on my own. Not like in AA where my name is Gem, and I am an alcoholic/addict that has been sober for x amount of time. I'm not an alcoholic/addict at all. That whole mentality is gone now. Problem is, I don't know how I did it. I just got tired of being stoned and or smashed all the time and that part of me just dried up and blew away. I wish I did know how I went about it so I could help other people who wish to get clean. Of course it was a big life change, so it doesn't come easy, but it was a complete persona transformation that made me a different person. There were some hard emotional issues and identity crises bound up in the addiction, so it was a deeper healing that just readjusting my lifestyle, and perhaps the interest was being drawn to the whole of the healing, and the intoxication seemed merely symptomatic of other problems rather than the problem itself. I can only say that in hindsight, though. It wasn't a conscious intention which I went after. At the time it was just I was so sick of it I stopped.

I recently was introduced to a professional alcohol and drug specialist named Kiloby who takes a holistic approach to addiction recovery including the spiritual, psychological issues that might be an underlay for the addiction behaviour. His video gives a different sort of perspective. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-uG_2TvCmo

[Joyce]

The very best advice for a situation EXACTLY like Green Tree's is to look into Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcohol addiction can be a disease for many people. I know first hand, I went because I thought I was going to a 7 a.m. Attitude Adjustment meeting. It WAS . . for Alcoholics Anonymous. It was a room full of every kind of lifestyle you can imagine. There was genuine love, laughter, and honest experiences of how the program works when a person works it.

I walked by a meeting hall, for years, knowing it was for alcoholics. I could never have eye contact because they were alcoholics and I believed they'd NOT want to be noticed. I was sooo wrong. I love going to meetings to hear how the belief in a power greater than their~self was the only way for them to stop drinking. They share their own power, strength and hope with others who want to stop drinking alcohol.

I have made some wonderful friends, and drinking alcohol was never an issue for me. This is an extremely excellent form of help in every state and probably town across the USA. Calling 211 and asking for the Central Service Office for Alcoholics Anonymous can be done from ANYWHERE! We should all learn this in order to help the person who CANNOT stop drinking; even with all this great advice. Thank you.

[Gem]

Originally Posted by Joyce

The very best advice for a situation EXACTLY like Green Tree's is to look into Alcoholics Anonymous. Alcohol addiction can be a disease for many people. I know first hand, I went because I thought I was going to a 7 a.m. Attitude Adjustment meeting. It WAS . . for Alcoholics Anonymous. It was a room full of every kind of lifestyle you can imagine. There was genuine love, laughter, and honest experiences of how the program works when a person works it.

I walked by a meeting hall, for years, knowing it was for alcoholics. I could never have eye contact because they were alcoholics and I believed they'd NOT want to be noticed. I was sooo wrong. I love going to meetings to hear how the belief in a power greater than their~self was the only way for them to stop drinking. They share their own power, strength and hope with others who want to stop drinking alcohol.

I have made some wonderful friends, and drinking alcohol was never an issue for me. This is an extremely excellent form of help in every state and probably town across the USA. Calling 211 and asking for the Central Service Office for Alcoholics Anonymous can be done from ANYWHERE! We should all learn this in order to help the person who CANNOT stop drinking; even with all this great advice. Thank you.

I don't understand why you go to AA if drinking was never an issue for you.

[Joyce]

Originally Posted by Gem

I don't understand why you go to AA if drinking was never an issue for you.

Excellent question Gem. I go to AA meeting because when I am there hearing the stories of needing-to-control, loss of life, loss of family, isolation . . I know I am hearing them describing me. These are some of the most courageous, truly joyful, and honest people I've ever had the opportunity to have love me until I can love myself. This is the most important part of my journey. Then and only then will I feel I have the energy-of-attraction to my kind & gentle spirit that I so desire.

XO,
Joyce