Why do they say that love is blind?

[Baybee123]

I loved my ex a lot. I am still not over him and it's been 8 years since we broke up.
Even when we were together I always felt I was giving more in our relationship. I never felt like he loved me as much as I loved him.

Now as I think of all that happened and all that I feel for him I am starting to question whether im stupid. He has moved on and from the surface it looks like I have moved on too. But I'm really stuck :(. I am not sure Whether I'm actually blind in love?
Can one sided love be so intense? So hard to move on?

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

i believe that the phrase "love is blind" is usually referring to the notion
that any faults of a person aren't recognized by someone who loves them.
i believe that this might accurately describe God's divine love, since it's
my belief that God does not recognize sin as real.

the situation you've described might come closer to "obsession" than
unconditional love, since there seems to be a sense of 'neediness' involved.
my guess is that you've got an "imprint" in place which tells you that that
specific individual is of tantamount importance for you. it's rather like a
blockage of energy flow. there are steps you can take to remedy this.

[Baybee123]

Thank you. I'm so glad to hear this from someone else other than me. A part of me says I'm obsessed with the thoughts of being with him and there is another part that tells me I love him unconditionally. I think you are spot on.. I'm obsessed 😢.. Wish I knew how to get over him :(

[Really!]

Originally Posted by Baybee123

Even when we were together I always felt I was giving more in our relationship. I never felt like he loved me as much as I loved him. Whether I'm actually blind in love? Can one sided love be so intense? So hard to move on?

I'm very down to earth so I have a different take on this situation. I had a one sided relationship w/a boyfriend while in my teens. I swore I loved him & always gave more than he did. Years later, after meeting my future husband I learned I had never been in love w/that guy. He just happened to be the first guy to reject me & it shattered my self confidence. I just couldn't understand rejection, so naturally I thought there was something wrong me. I also found I had been hanging onto alot of unresolved resentment toward him b/c I felt like I had been used & abused.

When I met my husband, I learned what true love felt like --- just so completely different ...
This may not be your case, but just something to consider ...

[lamb1]

I was in love and this feeling was so strong that I'll never be able to decribe it. I could do to him everything, literally (at least, I think so). And he definitely didn't love me as much as I loved him, actually he probably didn't give a about me. But I loved Him anyway, though this was terribly painful.
And my love definitely was blind, there was nothing but this love.
"i believe that this might accurately describe God's divine love, since it's
my belief that God does not recognize sin as real." - wow, this sentence is beautiful.

I don't know what to say, I can only say that this also happen for a reason, so you can maybe try to find out why you feel such a strong feeling toward this person and can't move on. But maybe it is obsession.

One thing more, is that you can still love him and not be with him.

[Delsol]

Recently, I spent over twenty years with a man whom I loved a great deal. This was not a typical twenty years; it was 24/7 togetherness. We lived and worked together - built many things, had many life experiences - two children, moves to other states, other countries, built businesses together, homes, etc. I gave all my talents, youth and energies to those endeavors, and I did them all with love.

Then one day, he left me - just like that.

He left a year ago, but is still on the fringes of my life because we share young children. During this past year, I went into hermit mode - deep reflection. No distractions, much meditation. Amazing revelations! One of which was this; my love was blind. Yes, it was. I realized that all I 'thought" we had together, was really just....me. Think about it. Reflect. You are not stupid - perhaps you are just loving. Focus on that, and perhaps someone who matches that vibration will manifest, for real. Let go of that ex who did not love you as much. It does not serve you! That attachment you feel is your own heart's desire - has nothing to do with him. Love and Christmas cookies, d.

[Snow Goose]

Hi Baybee

8 years is a long time! Have you ever tried to uncover why you would be so longing for a love that never really was? What is it in you that misses this person who didn't really love you?

I have had to deal with my codependancy issues which was very difficult, i had the vail ripped away from me regarding my closest relationships in life, it has been a hard slog but a very worth while learning experience. Im now in a deeply commited relationship with someone who loves every bit of me.

Delsol I can't image how hard this had been for you but I have no doubt you will come through the experience much wiser, you sound like a very strong person.

Because of a refusal to accept their expectations aren't being met.
Most human love comes with a sense of ownership, of commitment -
unwritten unless they marry when they make a public declaration of
their commitment.

But of course you can never own someone; never fully control them (even
with violence) so the consequences of a fallout are usually the belied that
you can. That tomorrow everything will fall into place. Love is blind when you
persist in hopes while refusing to accept the other person diverging.

People change day by day in relationship to each other, sometimes
converging, sometimes diverging.

Might not go down well here to admit but I've long abandoned the word "love"
in human interactions because of its institutionalised connotations.
Acceptance, reliance, appreciation, regard for role, depth of frienship,
apparent alignment of soul empathy, are where it's become for me - and never ownership.


..

[Baybee123]

I have been married for over 6 years now and I really want to love my husband the same way I used to love my ex but I'm struggling :(.
I don't know why I'm soooo blind? And running after something that's not even mine. :( I'm ruining what I have by daydreaming of something that's way out of my reach :(

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

have you seen Freaky Friday?
a soul swap might have taken place while you were unaware.
the person who you truly love may be residing within the fleshly
form of your current spouse.

could your daydreams of someone else be a distraction from
seeking true deep intimacy with your husband... could it be
masking a fear (of vulnerability?) that you've been holding?