Is there a way to 'reconnect'?

[alyery]

Hello! :)

I've gone through a deep amount of emotional PTSD and spiritual trauma inflicted by a few select people. Before that, for my whole life, I was always deeply connected - to *something*. The universe, I suppose? Just something higher. I saw a lot, I experienced a lot, I felt more whole. That was taken advantage of.

Something has been missing in me since then. There's a large void where I feel that spirituality should be. Whenever I try to reclaim that feeling, though, it's like... it's empty. I try to recreate some positive triggers, and nothing. I have a few moments of connectedness now, but they only occur in dreams or super occasionally in 'real life'.

Is there anything I can do? Is this connection gone forever? I always used to pride myself on it, and draw a lot of my strength from it. I'm learning to make my way in the world without it, but I still don't think I'll ever feel quite the same with that method.

Thank you. <3

[Unseeking Seeker]

***

Been taken advantage of or so felt ... vacuity upon exiting ... trauma bonding as in a Stockholm syndrome ... off hand comments since you have not spelt out details ...

About connection with the Universe ... a higher energy and then losing it ... what was it we were when connected and what are we now when disconnected? Each must determine what has changed ... deteriorated within.

Reclaiming childlike innocence we reconnect. How do we reclaim? By disassociating from identification with the consciousness contracting event.

There is more ... we all need to work it out ourselves

***

[JustBe]

Ending the past we come back to peace with all that.

Opening and reconnecting again we can learn how to fill up with our own source without all the suffering filling up our mind/body.

The perception through past trauma has us believe we are not connected to something more, sometimes the pains so dominant in our being, we can’t see or feel, our true self and connection that feels content and happy just for being alive. You have memories and awareness within you what that connection feels like. Reconnection can awaken through feelings of love and joy now without containment. So finding things that open you to both can fill that void.

Taking small steps and building your connection once more in ways, that help you to start, to develop the feelings of joy.

The emptiness is an opportunity for you to open once more your centre, that feels alive and in joy of its own being. To do this one has to believe and also create space to that awareness.

[Ciona]

And on creating space and depth of being.

Go into the stillness inside yourself

Let the chatter of the mind cease

Be in the stillness, be in that space inside

Let depth of being arise, meditate...turn your conscious towards your unconscious

Also I would add...study your solar plexus chakra. Like Unseeking Seeker said, find out what's going on in the way you're processing things differently, than before, what has changed

Don't expect it to come back overnight. It can (despite what some people on here seem to think)...but it will most likely fluctuate. If you had been capable of balancing your energies to start with (regardless of the specifics of the trauma involved), it wouldn't be 'gone' in your perception. It's not gone...

I promise you, it really isn't.

It will mostly likely arise and flow in and out in your perception for a while as you rewire and relearn...and that's okay. It's like the tide.

It's a matter of allowing, not trying to reclaim the feeling. Although, I feel you there. Allowing what is, brings you back. Being in the now. You have to start from where you are. Experience it now, not exactly as you were. That is past.

Stay out of the future, too. Don't worry about what might or might not happen. Just be, like JustBe above me, does. If you can, as you can.

[ocean breeze]

Originally Posted by alyery

There's a large void where I feel that spirituality should be. Whenever I try to reclaim that feeling, though, it's like... it's empty. I try to recreate some positive triggers, and nothing.

I feel like if there was any path towards freedom that that would be it. Not about reconnecting but about letting go. Not about using spirituality to fill a void but about letting go of spirituality and diving into that void. Embracing that empty feeling. I understand the desire to reconnect and perhaps it may be better and in that you have the above posts.

.................

[John32241]

Originally Posted by alyery

Is there anything I can do? Is this connection gone forever? I always used to pride myself on it, and draw a lot of my strength from it. I'm learning to make my way in the world without it, but I still don't think I'll ever feel quite the same with that method.

Thank you. <3

Hello and welcome to the forum.

The reality is that every one of us is always connected to our spirit self. For some of us it is a constant consciousness awareness. I can not imagine what it must feel like to have known a bond like that and some how stopped experiencing it.

Belief is a strange animal. They define perception as the observation of an event or experience of some kind. Never taking into consideration that every human observer is biased and conditioned by there life experiences so that their perception of things is not as objective as their intellect says it is.

I suspect in your case there were one or more events which created expectations from your intuitive sensing which did not manifest as you thought they would. When these things happen the intellect will doubt there is a bond with the spirit world and deny that reality. For in its reality only logical reasoning matters.

I suspect in your case it would help to reflect of what happened to cause your belief in our spirit love bond to be questioned.

John

[Miss Hepburn]

Originally Posted by Ciona

Go into the stillness inside yourself
Let the chatter of the mind cease
Be in the stillness, be in that space inside
Let depth of being arise, meditate...turn your conscious towards your unconscious

Stay out of the future, too.
Don't worry about what might or might not happen.

Just be, like JustBe above me, does. If you can, as you can.

Do this ^^ Let and be --allow what is there to simply arise into your awareness again.
Sit in stillness for awhile. Let any frustration or disappointment go...
start again later if you didn't feel anything. Cuz you will.

[Kayleighloves]

Originally Posted by alyery

Hello! :)

I've gone through a deep amount of emotional PTSD and spiritual trauma inflicted by a few select people. Before that, for my whole life, I was always deeply connected - to *something*. The universe, I suppose? Just something higher. I saw a lot, I experienced a lot, I felt more whole. That was taken advantage of.

Something has been missing in me since then. There's a large void where I feel that spirituality should be. Whenever I try to reclaim that feeling, though, it's like... it's empty. I try to recreate some positive triggers, and nothing. I have a few moments of connectedness now, but they only occur in dreams or super occasionally in 'real life'.

Is there anything I can do? Is this connection gone forever? I always used to pride myself on it, and draw a lot of my strength from it. I'm learning to make my way in the world without it, but I still don't think I'll ever feel quite the same with that method.

Thank you. <3

I too have had this trouble due to trauma. I think it’s important not to let that trauma ‘win’ or ‘takeover’ in a sense though. I don’t want my trauma to be the reason I’ve stopped practicing, because that means the person who inflict3xx that trauma is still having an effect upon my life and on the things that I love.

Personally I’ve decided to strip my practice right back, started with some arts and crafts to boost my energies *you can do whatever you like here in regards to boosting your own energies, be it swimming, sports, going for walks, camping etc. Just find and partake in your favourite hobbies to boost your self.
Then start by bringing in only one aspect of spirituality at a time. This for me was the moon, I attended a new moon hut. This included actually talking about trauma in the end, it was something the leader of the group brought up, though I didn’t share mine it was good to feel that my spiritual path could soothe these stresses for me, personally.

I just feel that you shouldn’t put too much pressure on yourself to stick with your spirituality, just partake in the things you enjoy, and add elements of your spirituality, that would be the best way to get back into it.

Wishing you all the very best.
Bright blessings

[LadyMay]

Do not try and recreate the past, because it is the past and it will never return... trying to fill that void will only cause frustration because you cannot do it that way. Be kind on yourself and realise it will take time to move on and heal, that void is where healing is needed and in time when you recreate yourself, your sense of identity in relation to your experience, you will find it become smaller and before you know it the void is gone!

*I have Complex PTSD and DID, and this is what I have been learning on my own journey of healing