is it time to let it go?

[teak.]

I used to be on Spiritual Forums much more often back in 2015. By that time, I had already resigned myself to not taking much stock in Twin Flames. I made this post http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/sh...ad.php?t=87984 and I let go.

And that was 100% the right move. It's been 5 years now, and I have fully healed from whatever that connection was. He was not a TF. I was wrong about him. If I hadn't let go, I never would have found that out.

But I didn't FULLY let go until early 2019. I had hung on so long to the hurt that it became who I was. But early in 2019 I decided I wasn't going to be defined by someone who did me wrong just because we had some deep connection to each other before.

I've lived the 5 years between that post and now, rebuilding myself, making career moves, geographical moves, spiritual bolstering, took risks, indulging in what it means to be me every day. I learned what my strengths are, that so many people love me, that I bring people together, that I'm appreciated, that I am attractive and feel amazing, that I can make magic when I want to. By the time 2019 rolled around, I was there.

I saw a palm reader in New Orleans in April 2019, and she asked me "Are you finally done being mad at that man?" And I said, "yes. I just decided I was done not too long ago." I said it, and I meant it. I haven't looked back since.

If I had clung to the idea that him pushing me away and then running after me was actually some cosmic dance for us because we shared a soul, I never would have found the amazing life I have now. It honestly feels like the best dream.

So, is it time to let the TF thing go? Of course, I can't make that decision for you. I don't know you or your life. But I can definitely say that there is something incredible out there waiting for you if you're able to choose yourself.

If you're wondering what to do next... if you can - forget you ever heard of Twin Flames. Forget all of it. Tell yourself it was something you believed that turned out to be wrong. Tell yourself that anyone can love you in a billion different ways, and you're ready to get out there and let them. Because it's true.

If you deeply believe in the TF experience, then you know that nothing you do can stop you from being connected to your person, not loving yourself, not loving someone else. If you truly believe in all this stuff, and you're stuck in some painful time warp where you're always waiting in anguish for affirmations or responses from them, then you know you need to step outside of it and focus on what's best for you. Your TF would respect it.

Originally Posted by teak.

If you're wondering what to do next... if you can - forget you ever heard of Twin Flames. Forget all of it. Tell yourself it was something you believed that turned out to be wrong. Tell yourself that anyone can love you in a billion different ways, and you're ready to get out there and let them. Because it's true.

Agree 100%. There are many millions of people in the world who have endured fulfilling lifelong partnerships/marriages, such that they're now inseparable - and they've never even encountered the term twin flame.
It seems important to find someone you like as much as love; someone you feel at ease with; on the same wavelength etc. Sure, there'll be differences that need sorting out but if the relationship is worth anything that can usually be done. If it can't, move on.

How people have turned finding a suitable mate into something so complicated always beats me. Twin flame as a spiritual belief is pretty unhealthy to me - come with a belief in entitlement/ eternal ownership... not good.
.

[heartsound]

Great advice. Thank you.

[FairyCrystal]

It is indeed better to focus on your own happiness and not on the perceived status of being a TF.
Better to learn to be able to stand on your own to feet than being co-dependent, desperately holding on to some buoy --> the perceived TF status.
The people that I know and suspect are TFs don't give a monkey's uncle about it when asked. They're too busy living extremely happy lives.
If you're not extremely happy, then get happy!

Glad you saw the light and managed to sort yourself out!
The palm reader is also interesting. It's been on my bucketlist for years!

[hitch]

Originally Posted by teak.

If I had clung to the idea that him pushing me away and then running after me was actually some cosmic dance for us because we shared a soul, I never would have found the amazing life I have now. It honestly feels like the best dream.

Dude... this.

I think this is the cliche information we are told and that had me stuck for 3.5 years. I've found that for me, letting go isn't something I can intentionally do. The more I try to let go, the more I'm just trying- so to speak. Not sure if I made sense. And there were still lessons I had to endure; painful lessons that had me begging for anything but this life. Whew! Took my breath away.

But I can feel the detachment more and more. Thank goodness! I had a typical "tower moment" the other day when I realized I wasn't dragged through this as much as I thought. The Universe def played the trickster role in some parts, but I also wasn't ready to let go.

All I can say is, "I don't know what that was!" and I no longer find it romantic that connection must be this painful. I see other people who are close to me meet the love of their life and it's so easy. So simple. And they truly have good relationships with healthy boundaries.

I don't subscribe to the notion that love needs to be pain. I held onto that most of my life and now: no, thank you.

I'm very happy to find your post. It echoes what I've been thinking. I hope you're well... you sure sound like you are ;)

[jro5139]

Well I cannot completely let go of the person- because he is still in my life- I have found that the more I question and let go of the tf theories, the better I feel. I recently had a bit of an ah-ha moment and let go of the whole notion of "other half of the soul." It was amazing how it truly felt like chains had been lifted. I felt like I had been set free of being in bondage (which kept bringing me back to the word 'bond'). And I had been in this bondage for so long I did not even realize it until I let it go and felt the difference. I really felt a negative energy lift and it felt so good.

[butterflybella]

Regardless of your twin, you have to let go to live. I learned that lesson the hard way. I still believe in the concept of twin flames and picked up the Egyptian version not too long ago. Looking at both sides really helped me understand the connection as a whole. Sure, it's not the best connection in the world. But it helped bring me to the biggest blessing I could receive: being myself fully and unapologeticly. In the end, it's not about being in a relationship with your twin (which is what everyone wants ), it's about living your best life and having the best relationship you can with yourself. Getting them to chase after you is just a cherry on top of the cake. ;)