I think my problem may lie in my not treating regular dreams, as I would a Projection or Lucid dream it is an experience too I guess, but I hold Astral Projection and lucid dreaming in high regard, and I hold AP Higher than both, cause I thing it will give physical results, like life changing results as apposed to the other two.
Take for instance the whole reason I want to project is to do this one thing that I hold dear, and that's meeting the higher self thru it and merging, and me I think this merger will heed some physical or mental results that will change me, at least that is what i'm hoping for........
But the way I see it, if it doesn't work that way why let me wait so long to achieve a projection, when i'm so attached to this notion, just for it to fail and not be what exactly happens and it breaks me forever, send me in a deeper depression than I already am, cause I been trying for year upon years to achieve this.
I haven't been out since I came to the conclusion that this was what I wanted to pursue. I don't wanna do anything else on the astral until I accomplish this feat first. where as you can't do any of that with a regular dream, and with a Lucid one, it will give little results that are only temporary
so in my book
dreams= no results
Lucid dreams= temporary results
AP= realtime longer results= maybe even permanent
ThaomasOfGrey =The differences between astral projection, dreaming, lucid dreaming etc when it comes to actual life changes, really can be arbitrary at the end of the day.
I have had lucid dream experiences that have been far more life changing than astral projection experiences for example. It would probably help to not assume that any one of these experiences holds the answers, you will get more from the others with an open mind.
I'm going to have to take a risk of disillusionment here but I hope it leads to a positive outcome for you. What if there is no higher self? Or what if the higher self is really just you at your best and it isn't all that unfamiliar from what you have already experienced at times in this life? You are creating pain for yourself by thinking that you need this experience to be happy and craving it. Part of the craving is wanting some existing condition to go away. These kinds of pursuits are an endless battle.
Take for example lotto winners who's base line happiness is exactly the same as it was 4 weeks after winning. The artist who completes their magnus opum only to feel empty and dissatisfied days later.
Maybe projection and meeting of the higher self or so on does hold some kind of silver bullet to life's problems; most people seem to claim this is not the case and that real progress can only be achieved by doing it yourself. A downloading of understanding some things in the astral may lead to momentary enlightenment but not a permanent solution.
I have experienced astral revelations that had no lasting impact and can't be recalled very well upon waking My intuition says that you are being denied the experience because it can't deliver the outcome you are seeking. The reality system only permits activity beyond the physical reality sandbox that is probable to have a positive outcome - you pointed out the problem yourself - it won't allow the disillusionment from success, and dissatisfaction at the results, to send you into a deeper depression. Once you give up on the notion that projection is the answer you will be unblocked I think.
The good news is that you aren't alone. We are all suffering the same way. I have experienced the desperation to find some answer to life's misery in astral projection and it isn't completely over yet for me either.
So where is the answer to permanent results? Like Xanth always says, it is here right now in what we do in our physical lives, astral projection isn't that important in this quest imo, that is why it is turned off by default for us - it is why this reality was created in the first place - astral projection wasn't a very useful place for learning permanent results.
Step 1 is to realize that good and bad feelings are just chemicals being governed by the human program and this program is designed to work against you in our current habitat. Step 2 is to realize that whatever you think you do or don't need is probably not going to satisfy for long - there will be a next thing. Step 3 is to get the good feelings back in ways that are long term such as a sense of purpose in a larger system - making real connections with those that are persistent in your life - and not craving these feelings. This is as far as I have come to understand to date, I am at Step 1 probably.
I was under the notion that Ap was suppose to be able to help you bring your desires to fruition, even if its, not of a real event/thing, even if what it is i'm trying to achieve happens as a placebo effect i'll take it, placebo effects help bring things out of you, that was already there, so me experiencing it as that astrally would even be satisfying.
I want to do it so that I can be satisfied in saying I did it, and maybe get a result, if it don't heed the results I want, I can at least say I tried, I don't think I can just let it go cause I been chasing for so long, I want to do it so I can just move on, I want to complete something in my pathetic life. Heck if people can create beings, out of fear astrally, why can't I get this created, even if it's not real, most of those beings aren't real but they are created.
Also i'm sure that my higher self probably is just me at my best, I would still be satisfied with it, because its me being all the things I ever wanted to be or accomplish, to tell the truth I wouldn't even want to be on the bad side of that me.
Everything I ever thought of being and wanted to be is what that me would be, and just to give a example of what that me would be like, a hero, psychic, teleporter, telepathic, telekinesis, do I need to go on, and that is just some of the stuff I suspect that me would be, again I would be satisfied even if its done as a placebo effect maybe it will stir something within me lol. I know this is all wishful thinking.