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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Death & The Afterlife

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  #1  
Old 25-07-2019, 03:51 PM
Inna0 Inna0 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 124
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My spirituality after my father's death

My dad died fairly recently. I was deeply attached to him, to the point where I'd say no one ever understood me like he did. It was a precious relationship.

He died suddenly and my world turned upside down. I've been feeling like I've been thrown into an alternate universe because I have such a hard time accepting that it really happened in mine. I also feel like a protective layer around me has been scraped off.

The problem I have is related to my relationship with all things spiritual - that I've been interested in and connected to since I was a child.

After his death, I feel like my beliefs have been shaken up.

Two reasons - one is that my mind can't comprehend that someone who was down here with us, is now somewhere else in some other state. It's too much to process I'd say. I've never lost someone so close.

The other is that I'm afraid I could get too deep in those beliefs, making myself deny the reality I'm currently facing.
The things I've believed about the afterlife before now seem like a consolation, too good to be true.
I've always felt connected to some of the people from my family who have died before I was born or soon after, so it was natural for me that I interact with them in a certain way. Dad was always right here. But if he's now with them, it's just... too beautiful a thought to let myself keep the belief.


I've had dreams about him where I actually felt he was there, and if it was someone else I'd believe so, but now that it's him I'm afraid it's wishful thinking.

I've had little "signs" - things that would be really interesting even if they were coincidental.

But somehow I'm so full of fear that I don't even dare to believe what I've always believed.

Guys I'm not even sure what I'm looking for with this post, I just had to talk about it.
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  #2  
Old 25-07-2019, 09:08 PM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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Condolences on your dads passing, what you are Experiencing is grief ,when we are in grief we doubt everything,and I mean everything but you have to go through the Grieving process in order to move on
spirit leave us alone to grieve they haven't gone anywhere but you aware that your dad is happy and well,
he will visit you when he is able.


Namaste
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  #3  
Old 25-07-2019, 09:11 PM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2017
Posts: 1,459
 
Sorry for your loss.

Such sad events can be positive triggers for our spiritual development. They can motivate us to start a quest for a higher truth.

This is how it was for me.

No amount of rationalization can give us a comfortable answer. The strongest faith may be shaken too.

Start a quest to find out for yourself! Don't subscribe to anybody else's convictions, not even your older ones. Learn to get into altered states of consciousness (using self-hypnosis) ask your questions, and be open to answers, adopting an attitude of unbiased mild curiosity. This is how I did / do it.
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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  #4  
Old 25-07-2019, 09:22 PM
Starman Starman is offline
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Hi Inna0, though your dad is no longer physically with you, he is still a part
of you and will always be a part of you. All that he gave you is still with you, and
what he gave you came from him.

The way that you are feeling is natural, you are grieving and you should allow
yourself time to grieve; cry, mourn, reminisce, and cry some more. It would be
un-natural if you did not do these things.

You are in and alternate universe because your reality has changed; it is not
the same reality that you once had. Adjusting and adapting to change can be
very difficult, and the process often happens very slowly. Especially with the
loss of a closely held relationship like the one you had, and still have.

The thing about getting too deep into your beliefs; it's not and either or
situation. Your beliefs become part of your everyday world but they are not
a substitute for your current everyday world. Everyone has beliefs of one
sort or another, none of us really see the world as it truly is, rather we see
the world as we are, according to our beliefs.

It might be helpful for you to talk with your dad in moments of solitude,
ask him to continue to guide you, etc. Maintain that relationship with
your dad even though he is no longer physically here. It might also be
helpful to write down your feelings, or hold articles and mementos of
your dad’s when talking to him.

Reality is a matter of perception and while we all live on the same
planet we do not all live in the same world. Don’t analyze this too
much. This is more about how you feel than it is about what you think.
The grieving process is a journey, and you take as long as you need
on this journey. Eventually you will find peace in your dad’s passing,
nonetheless, he will always be with you.
__________________
"Life is like a box of chocolates." Forrest Gump
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  #5  
Old 25-07-2019, 09:25 PM
iamthat iamthat is offline
Master
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Golden Bay, New Zealand
Posts: 1,369
 
The death of someone close to us can change our lives in many ways. Your dad was always there for you and now he has gone. You are grieving for your loss. Maybe you are also feeling vulnerable, because you have lost a source of protection you could always turn to for support. There are many stages of grief, and ideally we reach a stage of acceptance. We stop resisting what has happened and accept that this is a natural part of life.

And it sounds as if your spiritual beliefs are being challenged and you are going through some confusion. Is it all just wishful thinking? Is your dad really trying to connect with you through dreams and signs? For some of us, a spiritual philosophy is a background set of beliefs while we get on with the practicalities of everyday life. Then something happens and we are challenged to live our spiritual beliefs, to apply them to whatever we are going through. It sounds as if you are going through such a crisis.

All that I have read supports the idea that your dad has entered a new stage of his journey in the non-physical realms. The afterlife offers opportunities and adventure free from the limitations of physical existence. Your dad is probably perfectly happy and he would want you to be happy as well. For now you have parted, but this parting is temporary. So think of him with love and gratitude, and be open to all the signs that he is still there for you.

Peace.
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  #6  
Old 28-07-2019, 05:58 AM
Phaelyn Phaelyn is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2019
Posts: 79
 
It's amazing how much our lives can suddenly change so much from one day to the next.
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  #7  
Old 06-08-2019, 03:59 PM
yasha yasha is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 6
 
I lost my father a few years back. It was sudden. No one had time to prepare.

Looking back I recall disbelief, then shock. A flurry of activity followed, which was actually a relief since I something to do.

But soon everything was done. That was when the grieving started.

At first it would hit me daily, several times a day. An emotional sledgehammer to the forehead. A tightening of the chest. Tears would well up. I had no control over it, so I didn't try to control it. I let it flow.

Eventually it was happening every other day, or a couple times a week. Then it was once a week, or once a month. This continued for about a year and a half.

Then it was done.

The grieving process is unique to each relationship. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Allow yourself to feel whatever you feel, without expectation and without judgement. In time the pain will pass, leaving only the love you and he felt for each other.

Your remaining relationships are more important now than ever. Don't let yourself to become cut off from remaining family. Together, you will get through this.
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  #8  
Old 07-08-2019, 06:03 AM
soulforce soulforce is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 315
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Quote:
My dad died fairly recently. I was deeply attached to him, to the point where I'd say no one ever understood me like he did. It was a precious relationship.

First and foremost please accept my condolences. I never lost a parent yet hence I cannot imagine the amount of grief you are feeling right now.

Quote:
He died suddenly and my world turned upside down. I've been feeling like I've been thrown into an alternate universe because I have such a hard time accepting that it really happened in mine. I also feel like a protective layer around me has been scraped off.

I'm really sorry this happened to you and your family. The worst is when we don't get a chance to say goodbye to the ones we love. I will say prayer for you.

Quote:
The problem I have is related to my relationship with all things spiritual - that I've been interested in and connected to since I was a child.

After his death, I feel like my beliefs have been shaken up.

I can appreciate your sentiment. My hope is that shaken only means changing not a permanent lost of something you once held so dearly. This will come across as fruitless but I believe what happens next will be entirely up to you.

Quote:
Two reasons - one is that my mind can't comprehend that someone who was down here with us, is now somewhere else in some other state. It's too much to process I'd say. I've never lost someone so close.

Yes it is. Allow yourself the chance to feel this way. What you are going through is traumatic. You're going to need time to processes your pain. Only those who've also lost loved ones know your pain.


Quote:
The other is that I'm afraid I could get too deep in those beliefs, making myself deny the reality I'm currently facing.

These are very wise words my dear! We shall be very much in the world as we are above it. I think the loss you're experiencing is helping you see the importance of embracing your own life as a human being in the world.

Quote:
The things I've believed about the afterlife before now seem like a consolation, too good to be true.


Believe it! Yes believe every word that your heart speaks to your brain! It is your soul is sending you love from home. In fact I will say this much. What you believe that is too good to be true is no where near as good as it actually is. That I know to be true.

Quote:
I've always felt connected to some of the people from my family who have died before I was born or soon after, so it was natural for me that I interact with them in a certain way. Dad was always right here. But if he's now with them, it's just... too beautiful a thought to let myself keep the belief.

Please see the above comment.


Quote:
I've had dreams about him where I actually felt he was there, and if it was someone else I'd believe so, but now that it's him I'm afraid it's wishful thinking.

I've had little "signs" - things that would be really interesting even if they were coincidental.

But somehow I'm so full of fear that I don't even dare to believe what I've always believed.

Guys I'm not even sure what I'm looking for with this post, I just had to talk about it.

That's totally okay. In here there is no judgement only acceptance and love.

Your dad isn't gone. Know that when you dream of him it is really him. The meeting place between the spirit world and our world are our dreams.

He's reaching out to you to let you know that he's okay. But he feels your pain and so he needs to be near you to help you deal with the loss of his physical presence. It's going to take a while before you can fully understand why this happened.


I disagree about the idea of "moving on". To me to move on means to put aside and forget. But to carry on means to learn to cope with pain and remember the ones you lost. So you my dear grieve for as long as you need until the day comes you feel the need to carry on.

__________________
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul".
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  #9  
Old 07-08-2019, 06:03 AM
soulforce soulforce is offline
Experiencer
Join Date: Jun 2018
Posts: 315
  soulforce's Avatar
Quote:
My dad died fairly recently. I was deeply attached to him, to the point where I'd say no one ever understood me like he did. It was a precious relationship.

First and foremost please accept my condolences. I never lost a parent yet hence I cannot imagine the amount of grief you are feeling right now.

Quote:
He died suddenly and my world turned upside down. I've been feeling like I've been thrown into an alternate universe because I have such a hard time accepting that it really happened in mine. I also feel like a protective layer around me has been scraped off.

I'm really sorry this happened to you and your family. The worst is when we don't get a chance to say goodbye to the ones we love. I will say prayer for you.

Quote:
The problem I have is related to my relationship with all things spiritual - that I've been interested in and connected to since I was a child.

After his death, I feel like my beliefs have been shaken up.

I can appreciate your sentiment. My hope is that shaken only means changing not a permanent lost of something you once held so dearly. This will come across as fruitless but I believe what happens next will be entirely up to you.

Quote:
Two reasons - one is that my mind can't comprehend that someone who was down here with us, is now somewhere else in some other state. It's too much to process I'd say. I've never lost someone so close.

Yes it is. Allow yourself the chance to feel this way. What you are going through is traumatic. You're going to need time to processes your pain. Only those who've also lost loved ones know your pain.


Quote:
The other is that I'm afraid I could get too deep in those beliefs, making myself deny the reality I'm currently facing.

These are very wise words my dear! We shall be very much in the world as we are above it. I think the loss you're experiencing is helping you see the importance of embracing your own life as a human being in the world.

Quote:
The things I've believed about the afterlife before now seem like a consolation, too good to be true.


I know. Remember, you've been there before and this world cannot compare to home.

Quote:
I've always felt connected to some of the people from my family who have died before I was born or soon after, so it was natural for me that I interact with them in a certain way. Dad was always right here. But if he's now with them, it's just... too beautiful a thought to let myself keep the belief.

*Hugs*


Quote:
I've had dreams about him where I actually felt he was there, and if it was someone else I'd believe so, but now that it's him I'm afraid it's wishful thinking.

I've had little "signs" - things that would be really interesting even if they were coincidental.

But somehow I'm so full of fear that I don't even dare to believe what I've always believed.

Guys I'm not even sure what I'm looking for with this post, I just had to talk about it.

That's totally okay. In here there is no judgement only acceptance and love.

Your dad isn't gone. Know that when you dream of him it is really him. The meeting place between the spirit world and our world are our dreams.

He's reaching out to you to let you know that he's okay. But he feels your pain and so he needs to be near you to help you deal with the loss of his physical presence. It's going to take a while before you can fully understand why this happened.


I disagree about the idea of "moving on". To me to move on means to put aside and forget. But to carry on means to learn to cope with pain and remember the ones you lost. So you my dear grieve for as long as you need until the day comes you feel the need to carry on.

__________________
"For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul".
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