Seeking help here

I have meditated for over 12yrs desperately trying to get answers to questions I've had but I finally got the answers to them so don't be discouraged it takes time for some things. Also if you truly have tried as hard as you say you have and still the problem remains then perhaps you are trying to hold an image that isn't ment for you and you may need to find your true "self" like a Dr. Pretending to be a veterinarian and vice versa it may work for s little bit but eventually neither one can hold the job down because that's not what there ment to do .

[BeastMatt]

Originally Posted by MAYA EL

I have meditated for over 12yrs desperately trying to get answers to questions I've had but I finally got the answers to them so don't be discouraged it takes time for some things. Also if you truly have tried as hard as you say you have and still the problem remains then perhaps you are trying to hold an image that isn't ment for you and you may need to find your true "self" like a Dr. Pretending to be a veterinarian and vice versa it may work for s little bit but eventually neither one can hold the job down because that's not what there ment to do .

So how to find my true self?
I am a little bit confused so you mean in this scenario, metaphorically speaking, I am neither the doctor or the veterinarian, but something else? Just asking.

I'm saying (from personal experience) that you are one of them and trying to be the other . We are taught many bad habits as we are growing up and even as adults and one of the most detrimental ones is trying to obtain or maintain an image of what we or others think we should be and this is the root cause of so much suffering in society today.

[Lucky]

I agree with MAYA EL. I have spent the past 5 or so years meditating on “my purpose” and the frustration of losing my career and many life changes along with my awakening to spirituality only sent me into what seemed to be a downward spiral of depression.

I was trying too hard and my ego was in the way, because I thought that if I could find my purpose, discover my passion, and muster up some will power and courage then all my problems would be solved, I could make money and become a part of society again. That’s not how it worked out though.

Sometimes we have to go through things and come to realizations that do not happen overnight. In my case, years. We have to have acceptance and patience, that whatever the bigger plan is for us may not happen in the amount of time that we think is acceptable. Trust that everything is divinely planned and continue to do the deep soul searching you have been and eventually you will get the answers you seek...but only when you are ready to accept them.

We only realize that things worked out just the way they were supposed to when we reflect back on it all years later.

[John32241]

Originally Posted by Lucky

We only realize that things worked out just the way they were supposed to when we reflect back on it all years later.

That is so True.

[The Eternal Soul]

Originally Posted by BeastMatt

Hi John,

I meditated 8 years ago due to a traumatic experience. I thereafter discontinously meditated whenever I wanted, or when I felt the need to. There were long periods that I didn't meditate at all.
Recently, due to the pain that I suffered, and wanted a decision about a very important issue(could be for life), I meditated regularly for 1-2 months, but the answer I wanted just frustrated me. I got two answers inside me. I couldn't distinguish which one was really my higher self telling me. They sounded equally important, but at the same time contradicted to each another, which drove me crazy. My experience in meditation was it took time to get into the state of tranquility, the state of absence of thoughts only appeared like 3 seconds in a 20 minutes meditation. The state of stillness could last for 3 to 5 minutes I think, but there were thoughts, but I could feel the stillness inside. Occasionally, I felt there were no boundaries between me and my body, and immerged to all that was. After I opened my eye with that state after meditating, I could still feel myself became all that was, and this feeling would dissipate gradually. Many times when I felt frustrated or angry or offended that day, it was very hard for me to meditate, and there would be thoughts all over inside my head during meditating.

After all, I am still an elementary meditator.

But, why the question.....?

Matt

This is how I delt with my horrific past, I believe it will work for you also.

My parents were complete psychos. For some 19 YEARS they subjected me to relentless verbal and physical abuse. I lost track of how many times they tried to kill me. So when I graduated from high school and got a job ($$$), I fled one night and NEVER looked back.

I put it all behind me by repeatedly telling myself that I was finally FREE and realizing that they could no longer hurt me. Repeating it until it completely sunk in that it was all behind me now and I was FREE to do whatever I wanted in life. and there was not one damn thing they could do about it. They were GONE and my life could finally begin. I would just keep telling myself that whenever the negative memories would start to come back. That, and I immersed myself in doing all the things I always wanted to do. To live life in the NOW, and let it sink in how very good it felt to be ALIVE with my whole life ahead of me, FREE to enjoy every single minute of it. And there was nothing they could do about it! The key is to stay focused upon enjoying the NOW. The past is GONE, the future isn't here yet, there is just to NOW to experience. After a while they were largely erased from my mind. Soon just a distant dull memory.

[The Eternal Soul]

Originally Posted by Lucky

I agree with MAYA EL. I have spent the past 5 or so years meditating on “my purpose” and the frustration of losing my career and many life changes along with my awakening to spirituality only sent me into what seemed to be a downward spiral of depression.

I was trying too hard and my ego was in the way, because I thought that if I could find my purpose, discover my passion, and muster up some will power and courage then all my problems would be solved, I could make money and become a part of society again. That’s not how it worked out though.

Sometimes we have to go through things and come to realizations that do not happen overnight. In my case, years. We have to have acceptance and patience, that whatever the bigger plan is for us may not happen in the amount of time that we think is acceptable. Trust that everything is divinely planned and continue to do the deep soul searching you have been and eventually you will get the answers you seek...but only when you are ready to accept them.

We only realize that things worked out just the way they were supposed to when we reflect back on it all years later.

So true.

It's a life long process to sort out from what society tells you to be and do, and figuring out who YOU really are and what YOU really want out of life.

And yea, the waiting for this all to come to completion is grueling. I do wish there was a fast forward button.

[Truth307]

Originally Posted by BeastMatt

Hi. I suffered greatly for an unsolvable adversity for 1.5 years. I have paid over 8,000USD for seeing psychologist, but they all did not help. I meditated for few months for an answer, but I was not so sure.....I tried online spiritual sessions, but I did not find they helped.....My issue is about my music, family and society(and thus health, insomnia, growth and career).
I have found every possible people to give help, but my issue is still remained unsolved.....I suffered a lot, I am very painful. I have thoughts of suicide(although I did not take action and I did not plan to). I have tried my best to help myself, but I cannot.
I sincerely seek help here.....I appreciate very much if you can help me find a solution together.....Please pm if you can. Thank you!

You need to commit to therapy

[Gentenz]

I'm scared of being depressed. That's why I go exercise to help me have some motivation. hehe

Originally Posted by Gentenz

I'm scared of being depressed. That's why I go exercise to help me have some motivation. hehe

I did that ..... it may seem like it is helping in the moment but I promise you it will all have to be delt with one day and depending on how long you avoid it you may have a nuclear bomb on your hands. This is Personal experience talking