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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Spiritual Development

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  #1  
Old 29-06-2019, 06:06 PM
EdmundJohnstone EdmundJohnstone is offline
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How to react to mean people?

How should someone respond to mean people? There are multiple options such as being mean back to them as well, not being mean to them and keeping the bad feelings and emotions inside, which in time will start to hurt, or being indifferent and try not to keep the emotions inside (sort of hard for myself)

Last edited by EdmundJohnstone : 29-06-2019 at 06:42 PM.
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  #2  
Old 29-06-2019, 06:23 PM
Kaere Kaere is offline
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I've never mastered this... I end up feeling resentful and stewing in it.

I'd say it's never good practice to hold onto negativity, and to let it go as much as possible. Perhaps this comes down to being more confident and comfortable in our own skins... makes it easier to roll our eyes at them when we are more confident in our own worth.

Mean people are saying more about themselves than us, know what I mean? Some people can only find value in themselves if they've brought someone else down, they view others as prey for their amusement. Like being hurtful and vicious is something to value *rolls eyes*
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  #3  
Old 29-06-2019, 06:31 PM
EdmundJohnstone EdmundJohnstone is offline
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Hi and cheers for your reply.
I realised that if I don't counter their mean attitude, and hold the negative emotions inside me, it just makes me feel worse over time as the negativity and frustration builds up. The mean person gets away with it, not caring (some might feel good that they harmed) and I tend to frustrate and harm myself mentally because of holding in the frustration and negativity as I feel bullied mentally(emotionally)

At my working place, there is a guy who is in a higher job position than me, he is assigned as my mentor but he always tells me "Oh that's incorrect" or "You're wrong" , every time and he says this while he is laughing at me and others are around me. He seems critic towards me every time, there is no encouragement out there, despite him being my mentor. Don't get me wrong. I love doing mistakes, I love learning, but his attitude is a bit obnoxious(from my perspective), in the way that I perceive it as bullying and I dislike it

His duty is to teach and mentor me, instead he gives me tasks and then he just criticizes me.I feel frustrated because of that. Maybe I am too sensitive but I can feel him being mean and trying to show superiority

Last edited by EdmundJohnstone : 29-06-2019 at 07:10 PM.
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  #4  
Old 29-06-2019, 08:03 PM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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I think that some of your assumptions and expectations, as inferred from your posting, are "incorrect / wrong" ... :)

Your "His duty is to teach and mentor me" sounds bad to me.

It is possible that your mentor is too harsh, insensitive, ... but you should be less indulgent with your self.

"Don't get me wrong. I love doing mistakes" sounds bad too.

I don't think your situation is about "mean people", although it is possible.

Anyway, if your situation makes you miserable you have two choices:
1. Toughen up. Steepen your learning curve. Make less mistakes.
2. Move on. Try somewhere else.

It is unrealistic to expect your mentor to change while you continue as you are and do now.

Good luck!

When you really have to deal with mean people, probably the best thing is to look for a way to remove them from your reality. There is always a way to move on / away. Compromising to get, or not to lose, some advantage is usually a bad idea.
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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Old 29-06-2019, 08:07 PM
God-Like God-Like is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by EdmundJohnstone
How should someone respond to mean people? There are multiple options such as being mean back to them as well, not being mean to them and keeping the bad feelings and emotions inside, which in time will start to hurt, or being indifferent and try not to keep the emotions inside (sort of hard for myself)


Every occasion perhaps warrants a different response .. sometimes paying someone kindness while being disrespected gives them food for thought, however the same food for thought can create contemplation for them also when you you respond in a similar / sharp manner ..

Where you can't go wrong for use of a better word is if you don't stray from the truth of the matter ..

There is nothing wrong with truth however it's said unless one comes down to the others level of disrespect ..


x daz x
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  #6  
Old 29-06-2019, 08:17 PM
inavalan inavalan is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by God-Like
...

Where you can't go wrong for use of a better word is if you don't stray from the truth of the matter ..

There is nothing wrong with truth however it's said unless one comes down to the others level of disrespect ..


x daz x

:) Your truth ... isn't the absolute "truth".

Reasonable people assign different truths to the same variable. One's "true" is another's "false". You can't assume that your truth is the "truth". especially when facing another's different truth. In my opinion ...
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Everything expressed here is what I believe. Keep that in mind when you read my post, as I kept it in mind when I wrote it. I don't parrot others. Most of my spiritual beliefs come from direct channeling guidance. I have no interest in arguing whose belief is right, and whose is wrong. I'm here just to express my opinions, and read about others'.
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  #7  
Old 29-06-2019, 08:22 PM
EdmundJohnstone EdmundJohnstone is offline
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Hello guys
I don't want to prove him wrong or anything. I personally find his attitude and presence just uncomfortable. I tend to keep the negativity inside me and hurts. So I either tell him that I feel uncomfortable, either riposte, either continue to keep negativity inside me (least preffered)
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  #8  
Old 29-06-2019, 08:24 PM
JosephineBloggs JosephineBloggs is online now
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He doesn't sound very nice at all OP. What about next time he does something mean. You, calmly and confidently while looking him in the eye, ask him why he would do that. I know, easier said than done. Call him out on it. If this doesn't help at all, then contact your supervisor and explain the situation. Would it be possible to transfer to another mentor at all.

Just know that people that act like this are basically in pain, and use hurting others to try and transfer some of this pain while engaging in this type of behaviour.
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  #9  
Old 29-06-2019, 08:24 PM
Kaere Kaere is offline
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That's a tough one, when the one you feel is being mean or bullying is someone you need to work with... he's been assigned to you by someone higher up.

You're right btw, mentors are there to teach and instruct in an impartial manner. The only one you can change in this equation is yourself, however. Let's make some lemonade out of lemons!

Do you find that his advice and instruction is generally good in spite of the delivery? If so, it may be helpful to take notes and rewrite the instructions into your own words, then you'll be hearing your own voice. In spite of not getting along, you need to learn what's being taught.

Try to change your perspective a bit from how the material is being taught to what you're being taught. Focus on the material and not your mentor, this could change a lot. And don't feel bad about asking others as well... I don't think any of us get our information and guidance from just one source. Be proactive in this and I think it will help.

Keep this all written down, either by hand or on the computer. You can always show how you were instructed and what you were able to take from the interactions. If it ever came down to it, you could show how things went down.

If it really becomes an issue, you could speak to your HR department confidentially. Sometimes people just don't click, there may be someone else who is more suited.


Good luck!
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Two windmills are on a date and one asks the other "So, what kind of music do you like?" The other replies "I'm a big metal fan!" ~*badum*tsh*
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  #10  
Old 29-06-2019, 08:29 PM
God-Like God-Like is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by inavalan
:) Your truth ... isn't the absolute "truth".

Reasonable people assign different truths to the same variable. One's "true" is another's "false". You can't assume that your truth is the "truth". especially when facing another's different truth. In my opinion ...


Never said anything about absolute truth .. but I know myself more than another / random stranger knows me for instance ..

So if another wants to be disrespectful in ignorance then they are not coming from a position of truth are they .

Leave the absolute at the door .


x daz x
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