grandma, cousin, bread

[ragdoll]

Last night's dream had me visiting the old home of my grandma who passed away this year. The home had been enlarged and turned into a cafe and shoppe. It sold really good bread. I went there and this well dressed guy came up to me and said hi. I didn't know who he was. He was like it's your cousin, kevin. Kevin irl is homeless. He used to live with my grandma. In the dream though he was dressed nice and said he had gotten back on his feet. He said the only way he can get the help he needs though is by dressing as a woman. He does and is a very convincing woman. I then buy bread which I cannot eat I R L but I said screw it in my dream and ate it, and told myself I'd pay for the consequences later. I could practically taste it. I hadn't had bread that good, like a foccacia, in years. Ugh my mouth is watering even now. But if I eat bread I will get very ill. Then in my dream my recently passed grandma shows up and she's tired. She wants to sleep but we all know she means she wants to die. We keep saying please don't we don't want you to go. In the end she only goes to sleep. I remember telling someone in the dream that my grandma's house is right down the street even though we were in her house.

[Michelle11]

Interesting dream. You were in your grandmother who passed house. This says to me that the dream may be a very old issue that should be put to rest but you still carry around. One that is draining your energy. You want to move on but a part of you is unable to fully let go. That is where the situation stands right now. the situation itself revolves around your homeless cousin Kevin. Homelessness can represent feelings of not belonging or even low self worth. In this instance he got himself all dressed up and feeling good about himself. That says to me that there is a possible tendency to put on a shine front for others so that you can appear to be put together when deep down there is some feeling of not being accepted or feeling worthless. the eating of the forbidden bread says to me that you may need to allow those feelings to rise to the surface to be able to truly move past them. Feeling like we don't belong hurts like a son of a gun. Rejection is a terrible state of mind that is born from lies but lies we on some level have bought into. It matters not that no one wants us around. That doesn't make us less worthy just that the people that are around us have bigger issues with love than we do. Bread, in general, is also symbolic for basic needs. Emotions are our basic needs. We really do need our emotions, all of them, positive and negative, for us to navigate our human world. Considering you are unable to eat it bread real life it is very likely is is, in and of itself, symbolic of a tendency to try and suppress and reject the emotional side of life. In some way your basic needs are being rejected by yourself or others. So the bread could symbolize a need to allow your emotions to rise up in you so you can confront and transform the limiting beliefs about yourself for more life affirming ones or it could be symbolic of you finally taking in for yourself your basic needs regardless if they are not provided to you by those in your life. Essentially you may need to allow for a little discomfort in your life, feeling your uncomfortable emotions, to move past pretending that you have worth into really knowing you have worth.

I had a similar type dream not long ago. I dreamed that there was a women who had the flu and was angry shouting out that she would rather have cancer. I was kind of shocked when I woke up but see that it means that a more temporary immediate discomfort is something I wanted to avoid but that it would eat away at me and cause a bigger issue down the line if I didn't confront my upset in the moment. My fear of strong emotional reactions keep me holding my upset inside were it was going to do more harm down the road. But the point being I needed to be OK with feeling uncomfortable in a more temporary state similar to your situation of needing to take in what is forbidden to get past your self image issues.

So maybe just find yourself a sanctuary where you can allow yourself to express all that you feel and see if it can help you get more in touch with your emotions. They really are important tools meant to help us navigate life despite the world's opinion that the negative ones need to be avoided like the plague. It is likely why cancer is so prevalent in today's society. Our physical illnesses are a reflection of our inner pain that need our attention. I had such crazy wild energy swirling around inside I was not addressing I had a heart condition where my heart beat would sometimes beat wildly fast and out of control. You may have a tendency to not allow and/or reject emotions from rising up inside you and as such have an intolerance to bread in real life. Everything about life is a symbolic message for us to get our attention to what needs healing. None of it is by accident. I think the dream is trying to tie this in for you as well. Good dream.

[ragdoll]

I think that makes sense. Many people do not want to see people cry or get angry. I would get in trouble for being mad or sad when I was younger. Yesterday a friend told me that I shouldn't be angry about trump, in so many words. I replied that he was being dismissive and invalidating. I've embraced the anger I feel but not to be butter but to understand where it points me to enact change. That man represents the violence I faced from men who thought they could do what they want with me and get away with it. I have every right to be angry! I've started a project on twitter about overheard abusive conversations and am going to protests, and will be working with a few people to enact change. I will not just swallow my anger and accept my fate. That's what I did before when my entire being was controlled. But like you said it tells u more about people to suppress emotions. I also got angry at a boy in class who said some of the same. My teacher laughed and called me emotional. I don't care. I lost a little respect for him but whatever. It's not going to stop me. If people don't like an angry woman talking about things then don't try to hurt me! Repressed emotions is just a sign of control. No one owns me.

[ragdoll]

Today I accidentally ate regular bread not gluten free bread and i didn't get sick.