Marriage is an outdated and limiting concept

Duplicate post.................

Originally Posted by Ishtar

Life happened and I married for my child....to honor her father with whom I was involved and put effort into keeping a family...
Safe to say I married at the town hall...
I couldn't bring myself to a church...
Not that I didn't care nor love...but I did not feel he was for life.
And guess what...
With all effort, it wouldn't , couldn't stick...
From both ends we could just not connect.
When we spoke it was as if we were speaking two different languages....
And the inevitable happened...
Remembering back to when I was single and ALL the advice I was getting from everyone...I realised that what my heart said was the truth...
But hey, that is what marriage is for me , not for everyone.......

Please post this in the poetry section.

Beautiful.

[Theophila]

Originally Posted by KevinO

Please post this in the poetry section.

Beautiful.

should I take that in a good way

[PaintingRosesRed]

I respectfully disagree. Marrying someone who is as spiritual as you can be uplifting. It's more about sex, besides, those who turn to God are less likely to put sex on such a high importance. I am also religious. Sex is not viewed as something bad, but it's a way to show love.

Of course, you can have sex with whoever you want, but you are just putting limits on yourself. You are free to make your choices, but marriage has a lot more to it than limit. That doesn't mean you have to be with the first one coming, of course.
I personally wouldn't want to have big wedding, nor have an engagement ring. I like men with rings so marrying someone and him choosing to wear a wedding ring would be nice. (In the end, I wouldnt want to force anyone wearing a wedding ring, what matters is that we both keep our promises and that we both know that we are married) I see it is as a promise, while I don't rush to marry anyone and not sure if I really want kids, I don't believe marriage is limiting or outdated.

Marriage is ... whatever the two persons in it make of it. But just looking at the divorce statistics (in western countries at least) it seems you'd better think twice nowadays about getting a ring on your finger. And that doesn't even count the couples who stay married but love has gone (or was not even present to start with), so yes there is definitely a social/legal/customs aspect of it which has not much to do with loving someone. But of course there are "happily ever after" marriages... and it's wonderful when it happens.

[LadyMay]

Originally Posted by PaintingRosesRed

I respectfully disagree. Marrying someone who is as spiritual as you can be uplifting. It's more about sex, besides, those who turn to God are less likely to put sex on such a high importance. I am also religious. Sex is not viewed as something bad, but it's a way to show love.

Of course, you can have sex with whoever you want, but you are just putting limits on yourself. You are free to make your choices, but marriage has a lot more to it than limit. That doesn't mean you have to be with the first one coming, of course.

I don't think anyone stated here that marriage is just about sex.

[kkfern]

i believe in marriage. marriage is more then sex but i gotta say i do like the sex. for me, marriage is important. i have been married 37 years. marriage is about having a partner. there were a few times in our marriage when i would have been gone had it not been so hard to get a divorce. that made it necessary to work instead of run.

that made all the difference. i had to grow and so did my husband. i also think it is important for the children. it is a richer (not monetarily) experience for them. they see us loving and fighting and making up. it teaches them.

kk

[PaintingRosesRed]

Originally Posted by ScarlettHayden

I don't think anyone stated here that marriage is just about sex.

Originally Posted by Anandini.Devotee

I would love to get a discussion going about this, have seen some pretty opposing views with good points on either side. I am not seeing that being monogamous is a bad idea I just think that it is really silly to get the law and the state involved, who I decide to have sex with or be with has to do with the people involved nobody else.

I never said that anyone stated that it's just about sex. Maybe I pronounced that word a bit too much. Point is, spiritually based marriage, the way it was supposed to be, is uplifting and not something outdated or limiting.

Marriage is a social institution. As society shifts the relevance of marriage changes with it. It does have a sound foundation - important for children, but that depends on the participants/parents recognising that rights and demands have to be swapped for responsibilities and duties.

In current times, in materialist, consumerist cultures, the individual has been so empowered that it's sometimes difficult to acknowledge the existence of others in their terms. Sex, libido, desire are often mistaken for love. But it's the sex that's loved not the person. And when the sexual repertoire runs out, the mismatches start to appear, the veneer wears thin.

Unfortunately, children arise from sex - and until we can establish a broader means in society to nurture children than abandon them to the caprices of parents neglectful of duty and responsibility, they are losers. They set out in life with whatever the fallout is.

The UK is the Europe record-holder for divorce rate. Sometime around 2012 Michael Buerk (a journalist) summarised some stats among which was one that said only half of children reach the age of 15 with both parents.

So, outmoded as marriage may seem to some we need society or what's left of it to catch up to make better provision for nurturing children.

♀

[RedEmbers]

It is like any other establishment...

It changes to reflect the society around it.

I have gone through a process of redefining what it means TO ME... separate to all the outdated concepts which other people who are not me have constructed over the years.