He told me we girls tend to fall in love with guys we don't even know ;)

[Kiran]

Originally Posted by twinkle

What do most men know? They know not to tell a woman she looks fat in an outfit. But, this guy the OP wrote about told her that she looked chubby. It is a deviation from the norm so that is how the apsie focus came about.

Pfffffff. Honestly, I don't care being called chubby - it is what I am, SO WHAT? Negating it will not make it go away.

Certainly, I prefer uncomfortable truths to a pleasant lie. But I know that for many people, especially in America, this is different - no offense, but I've always seen that in comparison to us europeans, you are generally much more "honey-sweetie-cutie" and try to be nice and fit in everywhere. They're not even diplomatic, they're just fake.

While I'm not saying you should go out and about hurting people's feelings, I DO say you should tell them the truth (what you can do without insulting or making them feel bad).

But most americans are the type of people who put lots of unnecessary sugar icing on their - already overly sweet - cakes. So what d'ya expect.

This is said with no bad intention, just saying that maybe it's also a cultural difference. At least here where I live, NO chubby woman is offended if told so.



---------
As for Marc, we've decided to be "just friends" (he's got some issues, Asperger or not, and I've found someone who cares more about me, to be honest). But we will meet in person somewhen and we will keep talking on Skype from time to time. I'm glad I've met him. He brought some new thoughts into my life, and to tell the truth, I think I would never have opened up to anybody else like that if it hadn't been for meeting him first. So certainly, without Marc I wouldn't even ever had gotten to know my "Tuffey" who is a really sweet and caring and loving man (the type that says: "You're absolutely beautiful to me, anytime" when I show him those horrid pictures, haha. But well. He says it in a way I believe him.) It's still very fresh, only a couple of days knowing him, but he seems pretty much perfect. (He's not an Aspie. But I wouldn't care.)




All the best for all of you.

Thanks for the update... Kiran.
Good to know that you are doing well.
I love the name "Tuffey".
Good luck with it and let us know...

[Kiran]

It's a nickname, of course ;) but he is just "Tuffey".

[Liladeryn]

Nada its people like you that make an Aspies world that little bit harder..My son has Aspergers ,he has empathy more than alot of so called normal people.. How you can put them all together and say all you have said about Aspergers, because of your bad experience..I find that extremely unfair

Im sorry you had to go through a bad experience with your husband..But 'normal' people can be insultive,show no empathy and can be down right cruel..Normal relationships fail all the time ..

There are bad sides to Aspergers, but there are bads sides too the so called 'normal' thinking people as well..

We are all different and all Aspies arnt the same just as all 'normal' people arnt the same..try to show a little compassion towards those struggling a little more than the rest of us

Originally Posted by Kiran

Pfffffff. Honestly, I don't care being called chubby - it is what I am, SO WHAT? Negating it will not make it go away.

Certainly, I prefer uncomfortable truths to a pleasant lie. But I know that for many people, especially in America, this is different - no offense, but I've always seen that in comparison to us europeans, you are generally much more "honey-sweetie-cutie" and try to be nice and fit in everywhere. They're not even diplomatic, they're just fake.

While I'm not saying you should go out and about hurting people's feelings, I DO say you should tell them the truth (what you can do without insulting or making them feel bad).

But most americans are the type of people who put lots of unnecessary sugar icing on their - already overly sweet - cakes. So what d'ya expect.

This is said with no bad intention, just saying that maybe it's also a cultural difference. At least here where I live, NO chubby woman is offended if told so.

Hi Kiran, ^THAT is what I've been screaming all along. As some people still say here in the states, Thank you for "keeping it REAL"...another great american export! There's some things about this place I'm still actually proud of.

I've been away for a little bit, but nice update there you've posted. Glad everything worked out for both of you positively in the end.

[7luminaries]

Hmm, Americans aside, and I'd say it's a bit of truth and a bit of a stereotype, both...
I also think in Europe, or at least in the UK, a gent would be told to "pee" off , [i.e., to get lost],
if he made comments about body parts or bodies in general that were uninvited.

Or perhaps more kindly, we'd just ignore him or perhaps -- if he was really unkind, rude, or trying to shame us --
we might, if pushed, reply that he was lacking in other areas,
but that we'd not have mentioned otherwise, had he not got onto the topic

Peace & blessings,
7L