Healing a broken heart 2

Since Elaine is doing better, I didn't want to intrude in her thread.
(Glad your doing good Elaine)
I read everyones comments and most spoke about time healing the heart.

I honestly feel like i'm going to be one of those people that are just not going to be able to heal...... I've never hurt so much in my life ... as much as I don't want to get back with this person, everything and every situation reminds me of him... everything is associated with him, and as much as i try to disassociate things from him, they are still there.... we were together almost 4 years and broke up 2 months ago.

Anyone got any ideas? meditation doesn't seem to be helping me, or maybe i'm just scared of the release I'm just finding this so difficult, and finding it hard to move on in any aspect of my life.

Any help would be great.

P.S. anyone gone to a healer? did it help?

Dearest A, So sorry to here that you are so unhappy.I know its said before but time really does heal.I never thought that i would ever get over it as I was hurt through to my soul.The advise I would give is if you need to shout, sound off or cry, then do it.

When all the hurt is out then you will truly start to heal. Dont look back in anger either, but to the future and a new start.

I send you tons of hugs and support, and a healing white light so that you can start to heal.

You know where I am if you want a friendly ear ok.

I have found that keeping myself busy that it does get better. Hope this helps you ,and mty thoughts are with you.(((((hugs))))))

See you soon

love elaine xxx

[Emmalevine]

I can only echo what Elaine says - my marriage broke up after 4 years (and 6 years together in total) and for a while the pain was like nothing I'd ever experienced. I couldn't stop crying and everything reminded me of my ex. This is despite the fact that I made the decision to end the marriage and didn't want to go back. But after a few months I did start to feel better, and now, just over a year later I feel healed. Obviously I still feel sad that things didn't work out as I'd hoped, but I don't feel raw grief anymore. You will get to that stage too, but you have to experience thr grief first. Avoiding it will only prolong the pain. If you feel like crying, then cry, and keep doing that until one day you won't need to cry so much anymore. If you feel the need to see a healer, then see one as it can only help. Time really is the greatest healer though, that and getting the pain out. Tears aren't weak, they actually make you strong.
My heart goes out to you it really does as I know how awful it feels to lose someone even if it wasn't working out with them anymore. But trust me, you will heal and you will start afresh a stronger person xxx

AA: Your probably asking a lot for two months.

Take special attention in doing lovely things , treats for your body. Go get massages, facials, pedicures, whatever.
Put some attention back towards your temple..and hopefully it will please your heavy heart too.
Spend time in nature.
Go to the zoo!
Try to stop focusing on the person and their traits.
be kind to yourself.
Spend time with people who buoy you.
Make a rule when you are spending time with those that you don't bring 'him' up....take THAT day off.
And time.

Many moons ago I used to write a list about all the things I hated about the one I loved (back then). So when ever I had to think of him...I'd check my list and read "wears sox to bed"..and cringe....URGHH!!!!

I have to agree also with Merlin here treat you. Get your hair done, get a tan, buy new clothes , anything that makes you feel good. When you feel good about yourself thats a good start. Love to you

elaine x

I'm so glad I joined the board...... you guys are great, thanks so much for your support. I'm trying to spend as much time alone so I can look inward and do as much reflection as possible. I never look back in anger, but I never thought this would hurt as much as it does. Anytime a guy shows an interest I am in the position now, where I don't want to give any of myself up!! I have a really negative view of guys at the moment... and I think the only thing that is going to help that is RETAIL THERAPY!!

My friend's boyfriend proposed to her and then she found out he had been cheating on her with 2 other girls I can't even imagine her pain.

For real though, thanks for all the kind words of support, I'm hoping time can heal quickly!!

E your great shame you can't come Sat.

A,

I totally feel for you, but the old cliche of time being a great healer certainly rings true.

I have also experienced the sort of pain you mention, and for me i would deal with it by getting myself around my friends as much as possible, treat yourself to whatever you feel like (as the others have mentioned) and start living life as much as you can - is there anything you havent been doing which you could now perhaps start to do? you know a new class, hobby, interest - turn the situation around and say ok, well this is what id like to do - a holiday perhaps?

Basically do anything it takes to try and feel happier - you can only relfect so long before you have to let go - look as this period as one of emotional weightlifting - you'll be stronger when you come out of the other side (and you will come out of the other side).

No one can change the past, but you can change the future, you have the choices available to you and given time you will heal.

In the mean time be gentle with yourself, and lots and lots of best wishes to you.

hello Aradia,
Hope yous better,sorry cant come on sat, will try to get another day off ok, dig out those heels girl,lol

Take it easy and remember to take time for yourself, you are important now ok.
Is a nice morning so I am off for a run around the Park with a friend,I will probably walk half way though lol.

take care and hopr to chat soon

love to you
elaine x