Why do friends have to be so judgemental about how you live your life!?

AstraeaLunaAvani · #1 17-10-2018, 01:34 AM

I just had a friend post something on my FB page about how she busts her butt working hard and pays into government programs that support people who can't work, and she said I should get a job because I am probably living off these programs so I can go to concerts all the time when I am capable of working.

1) She has no idea if i'm capable of working, I am actually in therapy right now because working causes me anxiety and depression.

2) I am not living off the government, I am living off my savings and an inheritance.

3) I have busted my butt working for more years than she's been alive, at one point I even worked 12 hours every day without a day off for 6 weeks at a time! I think I deserve a few months off to enjoy life for once.

UGH! Am I wrong for being upset about this?

emperorcow · #2 17-10-2018, 04:34 AM

Sorry to hear this. I am in the same circumstances as you now. I am taking a break off from work and living off my savings.:-)

Anyway, take care of yourself and focus on your therapy. Hope you feel better soon.

AstraeaLunaAvani · #3 17-10-2018, 04:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by emperorcow

Sorry to hear this. I am in the same circumstances as you now. I am taking a break off from work and living off my savings.:-)

Anyway, take care of yourself and focus on your therapy. Hope you feel better soon.

Nice to hear someone doing the same thing! I am focusing on myself, and after I made this post and was upset about it, I decided to put on my favorite music and dance for an hour and then I organized all my kitchen cupboards! Sometimes you just gotta direct your energy away from people and into being productive!

inavalan · #4 17-10-2018, 04:43 AM

Unfriend her ...

AstraeaLunaAvani · #5 17-10-2018, 04:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by inavalan

Unfriend her ...

I would, but she's the wife of one of my other friends and i've actually been good friends with him for about 25 years, so I will most likely see them again and I dont want it to be awkward.

#6 17-10-2018, 07:35 AM

People are entitled to their views just as others are entitled not to take notice of them. Your judgement in turn is "was that a spur of the moment blurt because something relevant has got at her?" Or was it a deep seated view symptomatic of one of her higher principles?

But you aren't relying on welfare payments so it seems all you have to say is "You can exclude me from welfare claimants. I'm not one of them."

Question is, is her overall friendship worth more than a single discrepancy in views?

Blue Tiger · #7 17-10-2018, 01:13 PM

If she went out of her way to write that on your FB page, she isn't a nice person and considers you a freeloader.

Anyone who posts nasty rants on someone's page is an immature judgmental person. Definitely not a friend.

And quite possibly she's jealous of the outward appearance of your life, without knowing anything about your reality.

Don't worry about making anything awkward. She's already done that. I'd definitely set the record straight, and don't worry about upsetting her. She went out of her way to try to upset you. Keep that in mind.

Also keep in mind that her comment wasn't about welfare recipients in general, as part of a thread or conversation. NO. It was aimed specifically at you. You owe it to her to point out how uncouth and unacceptable that was.

Dargor · #8 17-10-2018, 01:29 PM

Judgmental friends is not how I define friends...

AstraeaLunaAvani · #9 17-10-2018, 06:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

People are entitled to their views just as others are entitled not to take notice of them. Your judgement in turn is "was that a spur of the moment blurt because something relevant has got at her?" Or was it a deep seated view symptomatic of one of her higher principles?

But you aren't relying on welfare payments so it seems all you have to say is "You can exclude me from welfare claimants. I'm not one of them."

Question is, is her overall friendship worth more than a single discrepancy in views?

My response was pretty close to that, I just said "I am not living off the government, I am living off my savings and an inheritance." Then her next line was "dont spend it all in one place, lol" so I responded also in a lighthearted way. She is the wife of one of my good friends that I've had for like 20 years so I am sure I will see her again so I can't really unfriend her.

AstraeaLunaAvani · #10 17-10-2018, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Tiger

If she went out of her way to write that on your FB page, she isn't a nice person and considers you a freeloader.

Anyone who posts nasty rants on someone's page is an immature judgmental person. Definitely not a friend.

And quite possibly she's jealous of the outward appearance of your life, without knowing anything about your reality.

Don't worry about making anything awkward. She's already done that. I'd definitely set the record straight, and don't worry about upsetting her. She went out of her way to try to upset you. Keep that in mind.

Also keep in mind that her comment wasn't about welfare recipients in general, as part of a thread or conversation. NO. It was aimed specifically at you. You owe it to her to point out how uncouth and unacceptable that was.

One of my other friends replied to her saying she was judging a book by it's cover, and she never responded to that. I responded by correcting her that i am not living off any government programs, just my savings and an inheritance. After that she lightened the mood so it never escalated thank God.