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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Affirmations

 
 
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Old 09-04-2012, 01:25 AM
itsjustaride
Posts: n/a
 
what am i?

hey making my first post here. it might be a personal introduction as it is a starting question. i have some questions. as i am... something. and to some extend i dont know where my abilities comes from.

so. where to start. lets try the beginning.

as i kid i was always scared. and i kept myself awake all night if i slept alone. since i was litterally terrified of the dark.

i could see hear and feel a presence. and it wasnt always a good one.

but it didnt really matter i was afraid of all of them.

it was a huge part of my early years. i never got to have the usual kid and teenage problems since i had more than enough to fight with.

as i grew older things started to happen around me.

i cannot remember them all, some has been retold to me as i simply have repressed it. from my memory. others are just normal daily stuff.

whenever i close my eyes and relax. i have this tunnel that im traveling through. its always there. its completely dark. and there is these blue rings that i pass through. at a young age i thought this was normal. and i always used it as a rollercoaster since i could control the speed. and it was sorta fun. later on it was kind of annoying. but never the less it is there. always has been.

at the age of 15 i got into a new school and had just been at a introduction meeting. standed home in the kitchen with a glass of milk and i was happy and excited. suddenly i hear a weird sound that i really cant describe with words. and the glass i had in my hand had been cut out in 5 pieces. with no entry or exit points. it had been cut really nicely. it fell to the ground. (solid glass so it survived the fall) had milk all over the place.

during high pitched emotional discussions electric items like tv's and phones etc. has a tendency of simply turn of. its usually when im on the brink of something leaving the room. i have never seen this myself. always been told by different gf's family etc.

during my young years with all the fear in my heart i started to practice martial arts. i figured i could fight it. i guess.
actually i could.
things changed especially in my later years.
its not that i learned to beat things in my mind. but i learned control patience and focus. something that have been very usefull. also i stopped fearing the things that i experienced (actually stopped fearing pretty much everything. the physical world just seems alot less scary compared to other things i have experienced.)

in the last year i have had a couple of astral projections. the first ones was unintended. later on i started practising it. although i havent controlled this completely yet.

i am doing alot of meditation and i start to have a lot of things happening in me. im actually getting info from within.

beside this. i always have a tendency to know how the weather turns out. a good communication with animals. and i in general like animals more than humans (great announcement to make new friends :)....)

so why am i writing in here?

i hope to find someone who can give me a label? i know that i still have a long way to go. but there gotta be a name for this. even better some litterature about it. this has been a big part of my life. and it is actually first the recent years of my life where i have moved beyond the fear and could relax completely. something i do not wish for my worst enemy (i dont¨have one just the saying)

and i just hope that someone has this: hey i got this for you. handing me a book or something. some sort of guidance. i got an old martial arts master who tryes to help me. he doesnt understand the things that is happening however his life experience is usually good guidance.

and just a footnote. i am new to this forum.
i have no interrest in proving anything. i don't know the usual tone of the forum. but it has never been for profit or for glory. that i wanna work with these things. its just part of me. a part i hope for guidance to explore. hope someone can assist.

thank you for your time reading this
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