Not sure what to do

[AnneC2013]

I haven’t argued with her I just stay quiet and say ok but that’s getting tiring too she has already said she doesn’t care about anyone’s feelings except her own. I told my husband he sees her behavior and to him it’s ok.. I wish I had thor’s hammer to hit him in the head and say no stupid this is not ok but I would never resort to violence it’s just what I think in my head lol..

[Psychictiff]

Feels like you need to do something more to take control. Whether its adding income, getting therapy, volunteering, etc. If you've laid out the ultimatum of divorce, outside of filing, there's not a lot more to be done.

[innerlight]

Originally Posted by AnneC2013

Hi everyone.. no update, everything is still currently the same. I just feel let down by my husband. He wants me to ignore everything...

Well if he's unwilling to budge or compromise, he's not leaving you any choice. You must do what's best for you, and your family at this point. All you are asking for is your own place away from her. It's not like you've said he can't see or talk to her. IMO, you're not being unreasonable. Now if there is problems with income that are keeping you in this place. Than that's understandable. And discussions on bringing in more income should be talked about.

If it's because he just doesn't want to move out from his mothers. Then you need to see that he's not ready for a relationship with you, and a future with you. I'm sorry to say.

[AnneC2013]

It is income he is scared to leave

[AnneC2013]

I cannot say I’m a victim because I’m choosing to be by his side but his mother makes it hard.. she even goes through our things goes through our room. I understand we live in her house but we need privacy her answer to me was she hope I can afford my own place. And she doesn’t want me to tell her son anything.

[Alice_1]

Originally Posted by AnneC2013

My mother in law is ruining my marriage and my husband is ok with it. We live with her and his his father. We have two children. We was working on one more but I’m way too stressed out to think of another baby although I really want one more.. my husband doesn’t want to move out. She talks to my badly infront of my kids but I’m suppose to respect her?? I am usually quiet and respectful but she’s too much. Tells me what to do as I am already doing it, constantly complains, goes through my room when I’m not home, degrades me, causes fights between my husband and I, tells everyone I’m a *****, even accused me of sleeping with her husband which I never did but she cheated on her husband and is not saying anything to make her self seem so good. I really tried to form a bond with my mother in law and I still try to get along for the sake of my children. But it’s causing so much stress. I took care of her when she had cancer no one else was there for her. I don’t want anything except peace and for my husband to find his balls. I pleaded with him for us to move out I even suggested a divorce. I’m not happy my children arent happy. My husband is happy with his mother. I feel very disrespect, betrayed, very unloved. She thinks I blew her cover for cheating it wasn’t me it was my husband. She said I have to respect her she’s my mother in law and while degrading me and accusing me I stood up for myself and respectfully told her to stop and stop lying about me esspecially in front of my children..she told me she never liked me and will never like me and out of anger I said I don’t care. After while removing my kids from the situation I asked her is there anything else u need from me and she said no. I don’t like she does this infront of my kids. They don’t like her I didn’t want them to feel that way towards her but how can I make my kids respect her if she’s constsntly disrespecting me and how to I get my husband to find his balls unless I let this marriage go??
He saids he loves me and I’m a good wife and mother but it seems like he doesn’t love me to allow his mom to do these things to me. This is affecting my health also. Any ideas or insight or reading anything is greatly appreciated. I’m trying my best to be calm and centered and respectful.

You definitely need to move from that place or find a place near to your relatives. No new family should live like the elder relatives do. This is the point of building a family - avoiding family scenarios you were in. You should talk to your mom and husband, describing what disturbing you.