Why does a person fall apart once a lightworker leaves them?

[Naked Guru]

Originally Posted by GalTrav

Just curious. I've been observing a friend (a lightworker). People are attracted to her like a moth to a flame especially ones who need helping the most. She's with them for awhile then their lives seem to be better because she's around but the moment it's time for her to go and help another person, these people's lives seem to fall apart. Why is that? Isn't it that when lightworkers come to our lives, they help light up our lives and when it's time for them to go then we are never left the same and for most, these lightworkers have helped raise our vibration to some level but for others it happens the other way around? I just noticed this happen to a person this lightworker was helping, once the lightworker left, this person went back to his old habits and ways and even seems to be a lost cause now.

The world is full of charlatans, specially in the alternative scene, nearly everyone is playing teacher of one sort or another, it is an alternative ego trip. These people are unable to transform their own problems, so how is it possible that they can teach another to transform their's.

[Colorado]

My guess is codependency. Im not a light worker, but I am always the one people go to for help, whether its advice, money or some other kind of help. Ive learned the best help we can do is just listen. I have literally wrote out plans for some of my family members, countless hours of talking, literally giving money, babysat, clothes, ect & place to stay.... giving them rides, helping them get a place to live & thinking this would help. They seem to get it, (this sometimes would go on for years) but they weren't in it to win it. You know, they were around to feel good. Someone to make them feel safe & to listen to their problems. As soon as they were out of sight, they were back to their old ways. You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. Infact, if they are too far down the wrong path, they will get mad the first time you refuse to give them what they want...and tell everyone that all the help you gave them, they gave to you instead....even if they have no job, no car & are living on the streets. The best you can do is let them learn the hard way....because most often, they have subconsciously chose to live the way they do & with the problems they do. They dont really want to change or dont know how....they are set in their ways.

[Colorado]

Originally Posted by Naked Guru

The world is full of charlatans, specially in the alternative scene, nearly everyone is playing teacher of one sort or another, it is an alternative ego trip. These people are unable to transform their own problems, so how is it possible that they can teach another to transform their's.

Well, that is a judgemental thing to say....everyone has problems. If we all had this mindset...nobody would help anyone. Who is going to help who doesn't have their own problems?

If I need help with math, Im going to someone who knows about math...that doesn't mean the math teach doesnt have problems...he knows what I need help with. How many counselors, therapist & doctors went into their profession because they lived through childhood abuse, neglect, abandonment, ect.....that doesn't mean you shouldn't go...the best teachers are the ones who have been through it & have learned to survive....they might have scars & pain still with those issues, but they have learned to survive.

So if I help someone out financially or with their kids, I am a charlatan....because I might have problems in other areas of life, even though I am a good parent & financially responsible? I guess we all should stop helping each other until we are perfect....Im sorry, but there are no perfect people. Its not other's people's fault if the person they are helping doesnt want to change.

[Naked Guru]

Originally Posted by Colorado

Well, that is a judgemental thing to say....everyone has problems. If we all had this mindset...nobody would help anyone. Who is going to help who doesn't have their own problems?

If I need help with math, Im going to someone who knows about math...that doesn't mean the math teach doesnt have problems...he knows what I need help with. How many counselors, therapist & doctors went into their profession because they lived through childhood abuse, neglect, abandonment, ect.....that doesn't mean you shouldn't go...the best teachers are the ones who have been through it & have learned to survive....they might have scars & pain still with those issues, but they have learned to survive.

So if I help someone out financially or with their kids, I am a charlatan....because I might have problems in other areas of life, even though I am a good parent & financially responsible? I guess we all should stop helping each other until we are perfect....Im sorry, but there are no perfect people. Its not other's people's fault if the person they are helping doesnt want to change.

I'm talking about a spiritual teacher, and a spiritual teacher is an enlightened person.

[Kyandi333]

I worked with my best friend. I encouraged her spirit to grow and showed her things that did not fit within her ideological framework. She became happier and elevated. She began to really be able to see and started to share with me the roots of what she viewed as her "problems". I helped her separate the real problems from aspects of herself that she originally viewed as problems. we really got deep into the roots of the real problems and the possible solutions since I was able to deeply connect with her and I had a lot of time with her.

You have to understand a lightworker is like someone who holds a candle in the dark. All people have candles. Some people may be stuck in the dark due to others dampening their candle's wickers or otherwise making it hard for them to light the candle. The lightworker's candle is always lit with a resilient fire. The lightworker can come near to a person or people and show them what the light is like but the person has to allow them to help light their candle. Even then, it may take some time for a lightworker to light another's dampened wicker with their own candle. And if the person holding the newly lit candle does not maintain the flame on their own candle after the lightworker pulls back, it will go out.

[Celaris]

Originally Posted by GalTrav

Just curious. I've been observing a friend (a lightworker). People are attracted to her like a moth to a flame especially ones who need helping the most. She's with them for awhile then their lives seem to be better because she's around but the moment it's time for her to go and help another person, these people's lives seem to fall apart. Why is that? Isn't it that when lightworkers come to our lives, they help light up our lives and when it's time for them to go then we are never left the same and for most, these lightworkers have helped raise our vibration to some level but for others it happens the other way around? I just noticed this happen to a person this lightworker was helping, once the lightworker left, this person went back to his old habits and ways and even seems to be a lost cause now.

It would seem to me that the light-worker might not be aware that they are functioning in the caretaker role. This unawareness might not actually be helping the people they intend to.

It's possible that the light-worker, their self, is dealing with some core issues. This might make the people they want to help feel abandoned or rejected in the process. I'm not suggesting the light-worker is a bad person, but I would guess (from the info I ready) that they probably have some internal work to do in order to figure out why there is a pattern of people feeling ditched.

If we are helping people who become dependent on us we are functioning in a codependent state. The light-worker might feel deficient in an area similar to one of these: acknowledgement, appreciated, needed, noticed, useful, trusted, valued, worthy (not exhaustive) A lot of people in social work deal with some of these issues and don't even know.

We are all at different stages of growth and understanding about ourselves; from a quick analysis without knowing much more I'd say it's probably not just the people receiving help.

[Celaris]

Originally Posted by Serrao

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

This counts for spirituality too.
This is what makes big brothers like Krishna, Buddha and Jesus so different from other lightworkers.

It is the difference between 'making happy' and 'teaching how to be happy'.

I completely agree. 'Making happy' drains the light-worker and doesn't really solve the issue. I believe this happens when the light-worker is driven by certain foundational needs.

[Celaris]

Originally Posted by Naked Guru

The world is full of charlatans, specially in the alternative scene, nearly everyone is playing teacher of one sort or another, it is an alternative ego trip. These people are unable to transform their own problems, so how is it possible that they can teach another to transform their's.

In psych we call this codependency and I agree.

[Celaris]

Originally Posted by Colorado

Well, that is a judgemental thing to say....everyone has problems. If we all had this mindset...nobody would help anyone. Who is going to help who doesn't have their own problems?

If I need help with math, Im going to someone who knows about math...that doesn't mean the math teach doesnt have problems...he knows what I need help with. How many counselors, therapist & doctors went into their profession because they lived through childhood abuse, neglect, abandonment, ect.....that doesn't mean you shouldn't go...the best teachers are the ones who have been through it & have learned to survive....they might have scars & pain still with those issues, but they have learned to survive.

So if I help someone out financially or with their kids, I am a charlatan....because I might have problems in other areas of life, even though I am a good parent & financially responsible? I guess we all should stop helping each other until we are perfect....Im sorry, but there are no perfect people. Its not other's people's fault if the person they are helping doesnt want to change.

The problem is- the light-worker is not functioning as a math teacher- they are just doing the persons homework. This leaves the person unable to do math. A light-worker is a VERY broad term that in no way means 'arrived at enlightenment'. I would suggest that if the light-worker wants to stop the pattern, that they seek out a mentor or school that will help them help other people better.

[Elohim]

true , wee need to fix our self , no short cuts

Know yourself , meditate and find the answer , no money involved
google pyramidmeditation, its free meditation and it is focusing on Breath Energy