the "talking stage"

[ipp1]

What is the "talking stage"?

When did it start or has it always been around?

Is it considered as the same thing as a relationship?

What are the rules for it? Where do you draw the line?

Todays generation is just so confusing. Being thrown around on the guessing game of wether or not someone likes you or not. Then the next thing you know your in the talking stage! This could last over merely a couple days to a couple months, and can go in two directions. You end up together or you don't.

Basically I want to know everyones opinion on it. Good or bad. If you want to express it from your own experiences thats fine. I don't think theres any wrong or right answers, everyones different and has their own ideals.

[taurmel]

The "talking stage" to me is that definitive period before beginning a relationship...or not! It's where two people are seeing if they're compatible enough to actually commit...kind of like another name for dating.

Though, I've known this stage to also mean keeping someone on hold and hopeful with no intentions of actually starting something, aka "stringing someone along"!

[shoni7510]

It can be a good thing if it is used to assess the compatibility between two people without any strings attached.

[7luminaries]

The "talking stage" to me is that definitive period before beginning a relationship...or not! It's where two people are seeing if they're compatible enough to actually commit...kind of like another name for dating.

Though, I've known this stage to also mean keeping someone on hold and hopeful with no intentions of actually starting something, aka "stringing someone along"!

Yes...questions

If talking = dating

then does this also mean:

talking = dating = casual sex with no commitment

or is talking = dating before you have sex at all?
or is talking = dating but casual sex only, before you decide to "commit"?

I think my next question is, what does "actually commit" mean in this context?

Does it mean commit to having sex to begin with?
Does it mean commit to exclusive sex only with the talking partner?

Does it (also) mean commit emotionally?
If so...Does commit emotionally = love?

And does love ever or maybe at least sometimes include authentic love, which seeks the highest good of the other equally to the self ??? Or not usually?

(...as opposed to 'love' meaning more just a feeling of affection and desire, or a physical and emotional feeling of pleasure, or of having someone find you desirable, particularly physically).

I am honestly curious...and thanks in advance for the translation

Peace & blessings
7L

[sea-dove]

Id never heard of this before.

[SerpentSun]

I didn't think there was a "talking stage" with kids these days. You meet, you sex, and then maybe later you exchange names, have a conversation, form a real bond. But this generation always puts sex first.

Originally Posted by sea-dove

Id never heard of this before.

Nor me. It's as if people are trying to divide up developing a relationship into stages. Hard to believe.

Smells of bureaucracy - ticking the boxes as each part of the process has been finalised.

"No-o-oh, you can't move on to the "dinner date" stage as you haven't
yet completed the talking stage. Come on, fill out the "Why I want to go out with Flossy Flybynight
in 10 easy words" - and give me the latest copy of your bank statement."



.

[Sarian]

I must be really old school but to me, talking is great, it's what me and my friends enjoy doing...talking about what's going on in our lives, what's going on in the world, what are beliefs are...when I meet new people, I ask them questions, I want to learn about them. People also like being asked questions. (most anyway)...back in the day of yore when I was dating, talking was a BIG thing...when I first met someone, they'd ask me questions, I'd answer, and ask them questions, we laughed and talked. If we seemed to connect, we'd go out on a date..say dinner and movie or hiking or lunch, whatever...and guess what we did? Talked, got to know each other more, laughed. I personally love talking and listening...Sex is actually the last thing on my mind for a date that will only come when I feel love for the person and know they love me as well.

[jimrich]

I was never very good at "talking" and suffered with a lot of shame, bad self esteem and a very limited set of words to articulate my feelings and ideas - UNTIL I got into 12 step sharing meetings and finally learned HOW to talk about "deep" things with a pretty expanded and sophisticated set of words and concepts that I never had before.
My schooling was OK but, like most guys, I was reluctant to speak of my "feelings" because I was ashamed or just didn't have the words to express my self. After a few months in sharing meetings I got very good, perhaps too good, at expressing my self and it helped me "talk" about sensitive and deep things so I very much enjoyed the "talking stage" of my 2nd marriage. I talked more than my late wife but we both had a "sharing meeting" background, so our "talks" were fun, deep and easy since we both had less shame to deal with and a pretty good set of words and expressions to use with each other.
The "talking stage" came and went quickly as we dove into sex right away (we were starved for love!) BUT we kept on freely talking with each other so our friendship and love never sank down into the SILENT stage which I think most couples enter shortly after the sex stage cools down.
We were friends first and always so talking was enjoyable and meaningful for us even if my late wife was not much of a "talker" but I've seen the sad "No talk rule" that many couples fall back into right after the honey mood is over.
Good communication is very important!

[2heal.all]

Funny that there are so many diffinitions for what should be something really simple and second nature