How to love without fear?

[hellabomer]

My TF and I are close friends. Call me stupid, but I want to block him from all social medias and stop talking to him. I am so scared that there will come a day when I have to accept another girl in his life (Even though nothing like that has happened but anxiety!) that it makes me feel like I should rather destroy everything myself. In this one week, I have got 2 direct signs from God that I should focus on unconditional love towards him. It's like, God is asking me to jump in the river and he's saying that he'll make sure that I won't drown, and I am just standing at the edge, not believing a word.
I can't trust God, I can't trust my TF, I just can't trust anyone right now.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by hellabomer

My TF and I are close friends. Call me stupid, but I want to block him from all social medias and stop talking to him. I am so scared that there will come a day when I have to accept another girl in his life (Even though nothing like that has happened but anxiety!) that it makes me feel like I should rather destroy everything myself. In this one week, I have got 2 direct signs from God that I should focus on unconditional love towards him. It's like, God is asking me to jump in the river and he's saying that he'll make sure that I won't drown, and I am just standing at the edge, not believing a word.
I can't trust God, I can't trust my TF, I just can't trust anyone right now.

My TF and i are close. She expressed very explicit desire/attraction for me yet still got together with someone else. I still give her unconditional love and acceptance. Why? It's just something i feel i must do in order to grow and break out of my patterns. Even if we were together, i would still have to overcome my ego, which i am doing now while we are separated physically.

It sucks feeling like you are in second place, but this makes you stronger.

Stop fearing about what could happen and just focus on yourself until the day comes when a full reunion can take place and you'll be ready for it because you overcame your fears.

[hellabomer]

Originally Posted by Delay_Reaction

My TF and i are close. She expressed very explicit desire/attraction for me yet still got together with someone else. I still give her unconditional love and acceptance. Why? It's just something i feel i must do in order to grow and break out of my patterns. Even if we were together, i would still have to overcome my ego, which i am doing now while we are separated physically.

It sucks feeling like you are in second place, but this makes you stronger.

Stop fearing about what could happen and just focus on yourself until the day comes when a full reunion can take place and you'll be ready for it because you overcame your fears.

I understand that breaking out of this pattern is important. But isn't it hurtful to think that you might never get to be with them?

[RedBasket]

I live in the same town as my twin flame and he has not responded to my efforts to communicate for many months, though we were still friends on social media. At times I felt he kept the chord of communication open in this channel in subtle ways that seemed targeted toward me. Like he posted videos about obscure pop-culture people after I referenced them in texts he never responded to.

In my case, the open portal to him via social media was too much to bear when he refused to communicate with me in regular, face to face life. It used to feel like such a relief that we still had that channel open and that he hadn't unfriended me, but then it felt like too much anxiety for me to have possible crumbs thrown at me this way. He and I are both ending our marriages so it is possible I could see images of him either reconciled or with a new partner at some point too. (We've only had a platonic connection, by the way).

In my case, I entered into a new stage when I decided to unfriend him. It was very freeing for me to drop that energetic chord. I didn't do it to be a jerk to him, but I did do it out of self-protection (and some fear too). It is just where I am now in the process and I can't deny it.

It has helped me so much in forcing me to focus on myself instead of pining away for him and wondering about him. Because we live in the same town, it is not impossible to find and see each other again if that is our destiny.

Good luck as you figure out your own situation and what feels best for you.

[hellabomer]

Originally Posted by RedBasket

I live in the same town as my twin flame and he has not responded to my efforts to communicate for many months, though we were still friends on social media. At times I felt he kept the chord of communication open in this channel in subtle ways that seemed targeted toward me. Like he posted videos about obscure pop-culture people after I referenced them in texts he never responded to.

In my case, the open portal to him via social media was too much to bear when he refused to communicate with me in regular, face to face life. It used to feel like such a relief that we still had that channel open and that he hadn't unfriended me, but then it felt like too much anxiety for me to have possible crumbs thrown at me this way. He and I are both ending our marriages so it is possible I could see images of him either reconciled or with a new partner at some point too. (We've only had a platonic connection, by the way).

In my case, I entered into a new stage when I decided to unfriend him. It was very freeing for me to drop that energetic chord. I didn't do it to be a jerk to him, but I did do it out of self-protection (and some fear too). It is just where I am now in the process and I can't deny it.

It has helped me so much in forcing me to focus on myself instead of pining away for him and wondering about him. Because we live in the same town, it is not impossible to find and see each other again if that is our destiny.

Good luck as you figure out your own situation and what feels best for you.

I want to do it, too but I am just not sure why I am having such meaningful dreams regarding him and I got two biggest signs ever this week regarding unconditionally loving him. If I choose to stay on this path, I will learn a lot about patience, unconditional love and strength but if I choose to cut connection, I will stop this pain. Don't know anything anymore.

[Delay_Reaction]

Originally Posted by hellabomer

I understand that breaking out of this pattern is important. But isn't it hurtful to think that you might never get to be with them?

Of course it hurts, but what can we do? You can either,

Confront them and force them to make a decision (some times this works)
Let them go with love (and risk losing them)

I'm not going to say which way is the correct way, as every Twin dynamic is different.

I know for a fact that I'm less jealous than her current b/f due to my spiritual practice (and of course I am awesome :)). If he saw the way she looked at me, he'd flip out.

If I can curb my jealousy and keep my ego in check, and still give her unconditional love and acceptance, I feel our strong connection will prevail.

Trust in yourself and in the divine order. Don't allow your fears to dictate what you do.

[Marie]

But... They already know everything.. So why not just out with it and say, i want a relationship with you? Answer will be the same, so..nothing to loose... I mean, at least you have tried you would regret if you didnt.

[Marie]

And regarding fear... You only getrid of it by feeling it and do it anyway. Yes you can of course wait for the right timing, thats important and patience as well but when thats planned and done, fear will on,y go, by doing. Next time after that, in another or similar situation you will find fear isnt that big as last time or maybe even surprisingly less. Ive had it. Thats the way it works. Why because your confidence increases. So dont be afraid. And as well those..f...twins feel everything anyway... And yes we can actually love them like we love all in our soul group ive found out that too you can actually just..share.

[hellabomer]

Originally Posted by Marie

And regarding fear... You only getrid of it by feeling it and do it anyway. Yes you can of course wait for the right timing, thats important and patience as well but when thats planned and done, fear will on,y go, by doing. Next time after that, in another or similar situation you will find fear isnt that big as last time or maybe even surprisingly less. Ive had it. Thats the way it works. Why because your confidence increases. So dont be afraid. And as well those..f...twins feel everything anyway... And yes we can actually love them like we love all in our soul group ive found out that too you can actually just..share.

I am also waiting for the perfect timing and I might tell him everything. But since then, I am trying to control my anxiety. It's so easy to understand when it's my ego talking, and now I feel so strange having a voice in my head which is not even that much reliable.

[ssdm1]

Originally Posted by hellabomer

I understand that breaking out of this pattern is important. But isn't it hurtful to think that you might never get to be with them?

Yes it is.

My story is I've know my twin for many years and we were together romantically when we were young, but then separated for many, many years. We recently reunited and I still do not think I'll ever be with him the way I want and that does still hurt even today. We text and talk on the phone, and he told me everything happened the way it did for a reason. He is happy with where he is in life even though he went through some very tough stuff. I see that there is a reason for everything, but I still don't know what that reason is, or how that affects the future. All I can do is try to trust the reason will be revealed and just be happy he is my friend and in contact. Never easy.

His phone number is even 1 digit different than mine, thus if you add 1111 to his number, you get mine. How's that for a sign?

I did tell him how I felt the other day and somehow that went right over his head. At least I feel I dodged a bullet and can still work on our relationship.