Cutting Cords to an Ex

[TheEternalStudent]

Hi everyone :) I'm new here. I fell in love with the forum and felt a pull to join. I'm a 24 yr old empath with an intuition bordering the psychic. I have no special "gifts," per se, but I would call myself conscious, awake and open.

With that being said, I have a soul connection with an individual who is no longer good for me. We dated for 18 intense months, and had known each other a year longer than that. The relationship was full of illusions and unfaithfulness and lies. Amidst all of that, the connection we found in each other is surreal. There is a feeling I get with him of oneness and unconditional love. We finish each other's sentences. We have symbolic dreams of each other. We have a lot of the same flaws, which surfaced in the ugliest of ways in our relationship. We mirrored each other's fears, pain and reticence. Our fights were intense and our makeups were heavens bliss. We shared tears because of these fears, our vulnerability bonded us in a way no physical interaction can. Yet and still, the intensity was unhealthy. The mistrust we deflected at each other tarnished the love.

Our relationship was on and off for almost 3 years this way, and though we knew how unhealthy we are for each other (the blind cannot lead the blind), nothing could keep us apart. In realistic terms, he entered other relationships while still professing/proclaiming his love for me. I found his duality to be foul, unfair, and unloving. Most of all, unhealthy. So I tried to find a way to remove him from my essence. Cutting off contact works, until he "feels me" distancing myself, wherein he will go crazy trying to reel me back in. This continues like a pattern, where we test each other on how far one can go before the other stops them. Pure insanity.

I began looking at spiritual techniques of cutting ties with someone you have a deep soulful/spiritual connection with. I meditated on cutting soul cords. I tried a few times, minding myself to call on the guides if I needed (Michael and Gabriel). With my last attempt, I began feeling an awful pressure in my throat chakra and in my sacral chakra. I attempted to finish the ritual and when I sat up immediately began crying.

I'm thinking I felt like this because subconsciously I don't feel ready to cut ties with this man. But I swear that everything in my heart and soul long to be whole again. I AM READY to sever ties with him, but seem to be blocking my own efforts. Do I need some kind of deep theta meditation??

I honestly and sincerely appreciate anyone who reads, responds, or even FEELS what I'm going through. Advice is more than welcome.

Thank you far in advance!!!

[froebellian]

I cut the emotional bond between me and an ex, but the soul bond will remain. I did have help because as you said it is very painful and you have to make the conscience decision to do it.
I cried too and had to make the choice to do it because it was holding my life back.

This helped me not feel bound to him but he will always still be important. I used guided imagery where I was asked to picture us both wrapped with a string of pearls. I then had to cut that string and watch the pearls drop to the floor. I struggled to cut, but I did eventually and am glad I did because I feel I now have control.

After I cut the cord, he forgot my birthday for the first time in 23 years. We know where each other are but I no longer feel bound and restricted but he is still one of the few people who knows and understands me and that I trust.

I hope this helps.

[Robinski78]

I don't think anyone can cut the ties they have with another person, if that person is a genuine soul mate... More to the point, why do so many people think there is a need to do so...

It is possible to stand back and let the other half drift off to wherever they need to go... Such might well be their next port of call in a pre-planned, reincarnate programme... The cord that binds, is as long as it needs to be...

Any thoughts or feelings that transpire, would probably have arisen no matter how one conducted the separation...

Initially, it's difficult to participate in such forms of detachment, but personally, having recognized the need for such in more than one episode of this life, I've become accustomed to such and just accept the inevitable without looking for justification...

Tough to begin with ~ acceptable once understood...

[froebellian]

Originally Posted by Robinski78

I don't think anyone can cut the ties they have with another person, if that person is a genuine soul mate... More to the point, why do so many people think there is a need to do so...

It is possible to stand back and let the other half drift off to wherever they need to go... Such might well be their next port of call in a pre-planned, reincarnate programme... The cord that binds, is as long as it needs to be...

Any thoughts or feelings that transpire, would probably have arisen no matter how one conducted the separation...

Initially, it's difficult to participate in such forms of detachment, but personally, having recognized the need for such in more than one episode of this life, I've become accustomed to such and just accept the inevitable without looking for justification...

Tough to begin with ~ acceptable once understood...

I agree people shouldn't go cutting cords on a whim but it depends on how your view soul contracts.

My bond was holding me back from progressing on my path as his remained stagnant. Also TPTB will not let you cut the cord if it is not necessary, but will allow it if you are not achieving your own personal goals.

Some soul contracts are not soul mates as in the wishy washy stuff. For example my brother and I, I am to repay karmic debt. Not a soul mate but part of a soul group and I released one bond with him as the guilt I held ( for no reason) held me back for many years.

Thus my awakening has been delayed because of these blocks.

Letting the other party drift away doesn't always work as they can be obstacles in your path, emotional guilt holds us back more than anything. Waliking away is hard ( look at women in domestic violence) , cutting a cord helps ease that burden. Unless you have been in the position ( and not many will) it is difficult to explain.

For some that maynot need to be awakened, yes perhaps they can ride it out and is part of their path. Others, where external players have diverted on their path and influence others then TPTB do allow the emotional cord to be released if it hinders them on their journey.

This is IMHO and also my experience as a skeptic, when it did happen I was grateful and a cloud and burden was lifted from me after 10 years. It is important to note I did atttempt to resolve things myself and only when you have attempted and the other party won't play ball do they allow this cutting of cords. But as I said, the soul bond will remain.

[Astara]

[quote=TheEternalStudent]Hi everyone :)
With that being said, I have a soul connection with an individual who is no longer good for me. We dated for 18 intense months, and had known each other a year longer than that. The relationship was full of illusions and unfaithfulness and lies. Amidst all of that, the connection we found in each other is surreal. There is a feeling I get with him of oneness and unconditional love. Our fights were intense and our makeups were heavens bliss. We shared tears because of these fears, our vulnerability bonded us in a way no physical interaction can. Yet and still, the intensity was unhealthy. The mistrust we deflected at each other tarnished the love.

Our relationship was on and off for almost 3 years this way, and though we knew how unhealthy we are for each other (the blind cannot lead the blind), nothing could keep us apart. In realistic terms, he entered other relationships while still professing/proclaiming his love for me. I found his duality to be foul, unfair, and unloving. Most of all, unhealthy. So I tried to find a way to remove him from my essence. Cutting off contact works, until he "feels me" distancing myself, wherein he will go crazy trying to reel me back in. This continues like a pattern, where we test each other on how far one can go before the other stops them. Pure insanity.

What you have written has pretty much mirrored what I've just been through with my x bf over the past 2 years (although I'd known him for 10 years and we've been on & off before). He did the same with me when I tried to leave, he tried to pull me back in then would yet again start to see other ppl behind my back.
I made the decision to cut all ties with him for my own sanity and emotional well being and I can honestly say that I have mentally felt a lot better since doing this. It's taken a lot of effort and I'm still continuing to make progress (even though he is at the back of my mind).
What I did was get a piece of ribbon (or something that reminds you of him) and i lit a black candle and asked that with the burning of the ribbon all my emotional and physical ties to him be cut. I then lit the ribbon with the candle flame and allowed them both to burn down. I repeated this every time I felt feelings for him resurfacing. It has worked and I feel a lot better.
You need to cut your ties cos the constant mind games make you feel tapped. The stress of him was making me ill. Now I feel a lot better since he's gone. He's tried to make contact with me several times since but I never reply. Now I just think of him as a lesson learned and of a love that was but never will be again because he's trashed everything between us and doesn't deserve to be with me!
Try the black candle method - let me know if it helps. x

[FallingLeaves]

Originally Posted by Robinski78

I don't think anyone can cut the ties they have with another person, if that person is a genuine soul mate... More to the point, why do so many people think there is a need to do so...

my usual answer is that after oh so much hurt is thrown at you you just wanna cut & run. But I guess it is a good question...

People often start out with this soul connection and (perhaps rightly) make something of it but don't consider the whole person in relation to themselves. Eventually people habituate to this great commonality but find there is nothing else to grow in the relationship, and successful relationships do need to grow together.

It's probably easier for a couple to form a solid, long-term relationship if they can be good friends (companionship is vital, to me) and have just a few small things in common. They take each other less for granted, have a goodly amount of space for themselves and can develop common interests. All important when this magical soul connection starts to wear thin and the sexual repertoire reaches its limit and becomes routine.

Above all it requires honesty - if a couple can't be totally honest with one another (allowing for a certain diplomacy!) it's failed; and a tacit agreement to work to the same rules - what's allowable for one must also be for the other.

..