He has my mind spinning again..

[soulforce]

Originally Posted by starstar

Sexual harassment is making unwanted advancements. But how would he know they were unwanted if he didnt try? OP obviously didnt feel those "advancements" were hostile and offensive, so no, this does not fall under sexual harassment category. I have known plenty of people meeting each other at work, developing attractions, going out and getting married eventually. Obviously somebody had to make a move at some point to hang out outside workplace. Companies these days try to cover their asses so much out of fear of lawsuits, human factor is virtually disregarded. Wonder how many potentially good relationships never happened out of fear of being accused of sexual harassment.

All that I meant to say this can be a tricky situation, because you never know how a woman will respond. Some might be cool, other times not, and it's just better to leave personal matters outside of work.

Saying that, if you know it's mutual, and it's meant to be. Why not?

Sounds like any normal interaction. People are as they are and sometimes converge. I tend to agree with starstar's earlier comment. In particular the point about "sexual harassment" which can turn a very simple thing into a great kerfufle. I'm always reminded of the case of a professional colleague being done simply for complimenting her.

Here's the news article for anyone interested:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...n-picture.html

It's pretty difficult for men these days as (it seems) they are the only ones capable of sexual harassment. Flirting is all but a criminal offence in the UK these days!!
☼

[starstar]

Originally Posted by Tuesday

Any reason you posted this on Soulmates and twin flames- forum?

Why shouldn't she? Plenty of people here seek advice on their non-existing relationship with their alleged twin flame. She is doing the same without attaching a label to it.

[starstar]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Sounds like any normal interaction. People are as they are and sometimes converge. I tend to agree with starstar's earlier comment. In particular the point about "sexual harassment" which can turn a very simple thing into a great kerfufle. I'm always reminded of the case of a professional colleague being done simply for complimenting her.

Here's the news article for anyone interested:
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/ukn...n-picture.html

It's pretty difficult for men these days as (it seems) they are the only ones capable of sexual harassment. Flirting is all but a criminal offence in the UK these days!!
☼

Read the article. Rolled my eyes hard. That's why normal guys are scared (the degenerates are never scared) to make a move, normal women won't make a move, because they want men to do it. We are doomed.

[starstar]

Originally Posted by soulforce

All that I meant to say this can be a tricky situation, because you never know how a woman will respond. Some might be cool, other times not, and it's just better to leave personal matters outside of work.

Saying that, if you know it's mutual, and it's meant to be. Why not?

well, it's obviously wise to tread lightly when at work. Which i think he sort of did.

[OnceInALifeTime]

I am not sure how this conversation turned into a sexual harassment focus. Obviously, I do not think this is sexual harassment, but I do understand why he might have been careful.

That said, it was not careful of him to ask me to go out for drinks the very first time he met me, when he could not be bothered to schedule my training.

There were 2 main reasons why I turned him down the first time:

- I was seeing someone.
- I had just started in the company, so it would have been inappropriate.

The second time I turned him down, because the way he asked was awkward:
"I probably wo't be there, but if I am, I would ask you to join for drinks". This was a strange way to ask, via an email to a shared mailbox!

I had completely lost interest when I found out he had someone. He barely crossed my mind to be honest. I had greater concerns than hooking up with a guy from work.

However, our last conversation really reignited my interest in him for some reason. A few days later, he ended up retrieving some documentation for me when I hadn't even asked. He's never done it the whole time we've been working together. In the past, he would think this is a task that's beneath him, which he would delegate to his trainees or would not provide at all and let me do it myself.

This time around I was discussing a case with someone and he jumped into the conversation saying: "Here, I downloaded it for you". I was shocked, because he's very high up and he sure never handles these administrative tasks. Strange.

[OnceInALifeTime]

Hi all,

So, I just wanted to come and talk about small things that have happened since I posted this thread. Honestly, I went through a long period during which he didn't cross my mind as he was being distant (December/May) due to him seeing someone, to now not being able to get him off my mind. He would barely communicate with me when he started seeing some girl in December, to now this ...

Every single interaction triggers a fire inside of me which I had never experienced before. It's incredibly intense. I thought I had experienced intensity with someone else before, but it was nothing next to this. The flip side is that I am not at all obsessive as I was with my past crushes/lovers. I don't even check him on social media or seek to monitor what he's up to (I used to salk all of my crushes/exes on social media). Why this guy I'm like: "I don't even want to know, it's his personal business".

We actually spoke yesterday evening after pretty much everyone had left the office. He called me about some work question (which he clearly knows the answer to, because he used to handle similar cases alone without consulting me) and we chatted for a bit.

Then today, he once again assisted with one of my cases without me asking. He later on proceeded to send me a message on our instant messaging app at work which read: "I just wanted to let you know, we really appreciate your work".

In 2 years, he never spoke to me on the instant message app, let alone to compliment me! He only spoke to me 1 time, to ask me to go out for drinks when I started 2 years ago. Other than that, this was the first time.

My response was: "Thank you for the feedback, this is much appreciated. Glad to be working with such a cooperative team :)".

Now, since he said "we" appreciate your work as opposed to "I" - I assumed he was speaking about the team as a whole, as opposed to speaking about himself. Hence, my reference to the team.

Anyway. I don't know if it was his way of saying he likes my work, but I hope he didn't think I was being dismissive of his appreciation. Definitely not. It's just sort of awkward to show interest at work.