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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Paranormal & Supernatural > Ghosts & Hauntings

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  #1  
Old 18-09-2018, 04:42 AM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Not so Dead Mother.....

Hello

I had a bit of a shock at work a few weeks ago now. I was on cash at a retail store I work and this customer came to the til. I did not recognize her, she looked at my name tag and goes OMG Lynn. I then heard her call Doreen and well that is the name of my "dead mother". It seems that the Mother that I thought was dead long ago is not so dead after all. I cut all ties years ago with my Mom and my side of the family. There was too much damage done.

I had to stay professional at the cash, making small chat....dealing with a million questions, which I so did not want to answer at all. My Mother came over asking about the kids, my husband (that is now an ex) so I said I was not with him, that I had a new husband. This means that they can not find my name LOL. Good thing for me.

They left and I was shaking.....I saw the living dead. It had been about 10 plus years and I have made peace with it all. its a shock on a shock when the dead are not dead. There is a first time for everything.

If I was a cat I would have one less than the 9 lives....with the fright I had.

Since this sighting or event my Dad (that rarely visits) as been around a few times. When I have been home alone, at first I did not realize it was him, then I clearly got the message. I made the right choice to cut her from my life. My Mom made some bad choices after my Dad passed and he does not want anything to do with her when she passes. He made it clear that I made the right choice and to stick with that choice. She made her "bed" literally he said.

I never got to ask how he felt about my new husband, as I was raised you give your virginity to one man you stick it out til death parts you. Death never got a chance to part the EX and me as I got out before he killed me.

Lynn
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  #2  
Old 18-09-2018, 11:18 PM
blackraven blackraven is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn
Hello

I had a bit of a shock at work a few weeks ago now. I was on cash at a retail store I work and this customer came to the til. I did not recognize her, she looked at my name tag and goes OMG Lynn. I then heard her call Doreen and well that is the name of my "dead mother". It seems that the Mother that I thought was dead long ago is not so dead after all. I cut all ties years ago with my Mom and my side of the family. There was too much damage done.

I had to stay professional at the cash, making small chat....dealing with a million questions, which I so did not want to answer at all. My Mother came over asking about the kids, my husband (that is now an ex) so I said I was not with him, that I had a new husband. This means that they can not find my name LOL. Good thing for me.

They left and I was shaking.....I saw the living dead. It had been about 10 plus years and I have made peace with it all. its a shock on a shock when the dead are not dead. There is a first time for everything.

If I was a cat I would have one less than the 9 lives....with the fright I had.

Since this sighting or event my Dad (that rarely visits) as been around a few times. When I have been home alone, at first I did not realize it was him, then I clearly got the message. I made the right choice to cut her from my life. My Mom made some bad choices after my Dad passed and he does not want anything to do with her when she passes. He made it clear that I made the right choice and to stick with that choice. She made her "bed" literally he said.

I never got to ask how he felt about my new husband, as I was raised you give your virginity to one man you stick it out til death parts you. Death never got a chance to part the EX and me as I got out before he killed me.

Lynn

That sounds horrible Lynn. I can feel your shock and anxiety in your words. I was in the grocery store once and the man in front of me at the check out lane was a man I have despised for years. In fact I had no contact with him for nearly 15 years. He is my brother-in-law. My son was very young at the time and sitting in the grocery cart when my brother-in-law turned to him and said hello. I was shaking inside and felt like I was going to explode. It's been a long time ago now, but I think the only thing I said was, "Don't speak to my son."

Fast forward through life and I found myself planning my son's wedding. My son wanted this uncle on the guest list. My insides were tearing up, while on the outside I showed a brave face to my son. I didn't want him to see this angry side of me that had a bad history with this person.

At the wedding my brother-in-law asked my spouse if it would be ok if he "talked to your wife." A strange thing happened and I don't know if it were divine intervention or me subconsciously wanting to unload the heavy baggage. I gave him a hug and stood there for several minutes making small talk like there was no bad blood between us.

Since then I have returned to keeping my guard up when forced to be around him and just keep conversations short and impersonal.

I'm so sorry your history with your family, especially your mom has taken you down this path. I feel for you as I had a strained relationship with my mom for years. But you know what's best and healthiest for you. Have you thought about why it was this specific point in time that she suddenly appeared in person to you?
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  #3  
Old 19-09-2018, 01:22 PM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Hello

Have you thought about why it was this specific point in time that she suddenly appeared in person to you?


This is the part that is a mystery. I live in a smaller city that hosts a lot of international level events that bring visitors from all over the World here. The Dragon Boat Festival is one of those events so it is not uncommon for there to have been an interest in it from family.

As it was not "official notification" that I got on her passing, as its clear in the court documents I do not wish to have any contacts, I would not know when her passing took place. Looking at how my Sister in Law could have handled it better, as she knows the whole story on "why" she could have just left it be and not called my Mother over.....whom was sitting on a bench away from earshot of our conversation. I guess she maybe thought it would be that "huggy moment" of a reunion. Not just small talk.

I have put so much of the past in the past with moving from an abusive relationship and having a new husband that I met here on site, getting my kids away from their abusive Dad. Life has taken changes that are in a forward direction. I do not think that my Mother would approve of me leaving the EX as she like many others would not see him in the "true light" he walks in. He was very good at deception and showing the "good false face" to the World around him.

I think that it was just wrong place at the wrong time, that we ran into each other, or maybe my Mother needed to know firm and final there is "nothing" to mend. She has not changed the World still revolves around her Son (my Brother) and his kids. She had not changed in that view on how happy she was about becoming a Great Grand Mother. I wish her well with that.

I handled things on a professional level and kept the conversation general and am thankful now scene was made.

Lynn
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  #4  
Old 21-09-2018, 01:00 AM
Tobi Tobi is offline
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What a very weird experience Lynn. It must have been (still is??) quite unnerving and strange.
I can't imagine what it must feel like to believe someone is no longer "here" then find them talking to you at supermarket checkout!
Especially with that emotional situation.
I hope you are managing to balance it out now.
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  #5  
Old 21-09-2018, 01:57 AM
Native spirit Native spirit is offline
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Must have been a shock for you Lynn.but you cut ties with your birth family years ago. you have your own family now and a husband that loves you and Expects nothing from you.
you made the right choice for yourself.sounds like your moher still lives in the passed.

Namaste
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  #6  
Old 22-09-2018, 07:02 PM
Headintheclouds Headintheclouds is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lynn
Hello

I had a bit of a shock at work a few weeks ago now. I was on cash at a retail store I work and this customer came to the til. I did not recognize her, she looked at my name tag and goes OMG Lynn. I then heard her call Doreen and well that is the name of my "dead mother". It seems that the Mother that I thought was dead long ago is not so dead after all. I cut all ties years ago with my Mom and my side of the family. There was too much damage done.

I had to stay professional at the cash, making small chat....dealing with a million questions, which I so did not want to answer at all. My Mother came over asking about the kids, my husband (that is now an ex) so I said I was not with him, that I had a new husband. This means that they can not find my name LOL. Good thing for me.

They left and I was shaking.....I saw the living dead. It had been about 10 plus years and I have made peace with it all. its a shock on a shock when the dead are not dead. There is a first time for everything.

If I was a cat I would have one less than the 9 lives....with the fright I had.

Since this sighting or event my Dad (that rarely visits) as been around a few times. When I have been home alone, at first I did not realize it was him, then I clearly got the message. I made the right choice to cut her from my life. My Mom made some bad choices after my Dad passed and he does not want anything to do with her when she passes. He made it clear that I made the right choice and to stick with that choice. She made her "bed" literally he said.

I never got to ask how he felt about my new husband, as I was raised you give your virginity to one man you stick it out til death parts you. Death never got a chance to part the EX and me as I got out before he killed me.

Lynn

Wow! That will definitely get the heart pumping. Good for you, remaining calm, cool and collected (on the outside at least). Your post made me think... I too, have been in similar predicaments, 'accidentally' bumping into someone that makes my skin crawl. After the initial shock wore off and I had time to process it.... I realized the important lesson of forgiveness and letting go was presented to me.

Just an idea, what are your thoughts on this?
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  #7  
Old 23-09-2018, 05:26 PM
Lynn Lynn is offline
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Hello

Yes there is always a reason for things to happen or for us to run into someone we have cut ties with. It is when we can step back and look at what is around us at the time this happens we learn from it.

At times its knowing that your doing your best on your path a reminder that you did make the best choice for you and at times your family. Forgiveness comes to mind that your truly settled in that place of the choices you made. I am totally at peace with mine, and in discussing it with my husband he agreed leave that door closed. He noted that our kids (mine from the EX) do not speak highly of her, their Grandma.

Looking at it I have to think that maybe my Sister in Law was tired of hearing about "why and why and more why" from my Mother as she would be like that, nothing was ever her doing she was Mother of the Year in her eyes. So maybe it was so that the "reunion" could happen. She should know that a court order is serious and not something done lightly, I had to have counselling and know how serious it was what I undertook.

Letting go was long since done, forgiveness was instant as I know well Karmic Debt is so not something I wanted to carry with me. I am past the shock now, and I know that keeping it on the "customer service focus" kept the situation from getting out of hand. I did not play into the questions I kept it all general. In making it clear I was not with the EX and re married (as my worry was them seeing I did not have the "massive" diamond on my finger, from the EX, that would have caused questions. Too that made it clear I had a new last name so I would be hard to find.

This is something I would wish on no one as an experience, it rattles you to the very core. For some it opens wounds that might not have been healed. I have the feeling of them sitting by the phone thinking it would ring, and that I would be exited to re connect.

Lynn
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