The dangers in opening yourself to love

OK, this thread does belong here so please bear with me. We will be crossing the borders between Spiritual Development and Love and Relationships here.

I'm looking at a recent experience of mine and I realize I did something I should not have done. This all ties in with several threads I have recently started and a sort of transformation I recently went through.

OK so this starts with finishing Richard Rohr's book, "The Naked Now." It's a text that helps you to see as the mystics see, from a Christian perspective. The problem is the book worked, and my eyes were opened.

I started the the thread tying Fighting, Focus, Judgment and Resistance soon after my revelations from the book. As I wrote that thread something changed in me. I think for a little while there I was close to the Source, feeling Ecstatic Love, like you read in Rumi's poetry.

None of this is necessarily a bad thing, except I'm literally a babe in the woods here. I have no experience with any of this, no teachers to help me, nothing. Completely new to this, all alone here, ignorant of the pitfalls.

So here's where the warning comes in. I want to help others avoid the situation I am going through right now.

LISTEN TO THAT LITTLE VOICE SPEAKING INSIDE YOU!!!

Sorry about shouting this here, but it is so important. I did not listen to this voice. There was something I was struggling with for a few days. Something I wanted to do but knew, from somewhere inside, that I shouldn't. I struggled with this for a few days, then I gave in. The result is a situation I have covered in another thread.

The point is that when that voice speaks please listen to it! Ecstatic Love, in my limited experienced, is like a 200 proof love potion. It goes down smooth and tastes good, but that stuff is powerful, especially for the first timer who has never had it before.

So be very careful who and what you expose yourself during this time. Don't watch the TV, keep it off. Don't go clubbing either. If you can go out into the woods on a hermitage, you definitely should. If you don't have a teacher to guide and support you, then listen to that voice inside. Your bigger, deeper, true self knows how to handle the elixir which has taken control of you.

I think there may have been a few other contributing factors in my case. A few months ago I was doing Chakra meditations. I stopped at the stomach or sternum one and have not continued. My guess is that had i worked out the issues in my other chakra, especially the heart chakra, I would have come out of this OK.

Also I'm in my middle 30's, so if this whole urban legend of the "mid-life crises" is true then it's probably not helping any.

Anyhow the end result is I'm seriously lost, confused, hurting, and by society's standards pretty messed up. I know I will get out of this, and take valuable lessons and experience with me, but it will take time.

Now I just want to help others avoid a similar situation -
- DreamBliss

[JaysonR]

I have a personal proverb.

Love is to place a knife blade over your heart and give the handle to another.

[Usako]

Awww this is such a nice post and thread, DreamBliss! I hope those going through it (well I can count me) are going to see this and find some help.

I have to say that I do listen to that voice, and she's called Buffy, the problem is that most of the time I can't differentiate between her voice and my own which is fueled by my fears, anger, and in the case of love: wishful thinking and dreaming.

I'm still a little confused between the connection of your message and the dangers of opening up to love...? I'm so dense tonight, sorry!

[Xan]

DreamBliss... It sounds like you've run into some old pain unconsciously lodged in your heart. When you feel ready you may want to face and let that heal so love doesn't feel like a painful drama, but is the real blessing in your life that it naturally is.

Here are some heart meditations that may help: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.cphp?t=4106


blessings
Xan

Originally Posted by Suikagirl

Awww this is such a nice post and thread, DreamBliss! I hope those going through it (well I can count me) are going to see this and find some help.

I have to say that I do listen to that voice, and she's called Buffy, the problem is that most of the time I can't differentiate between her voice and my own which is fueled by my fears, anger, and in the case of love: wishful thinking and dreaming.

I'm still a little confused between the connection of your message and the dangers of opening up to love...? I'm so dense tonight, sorry!

No, the connection isn't very clear and you are certainly not dense. The fault is entirely mine. Well considering the state in which I wrote that post there's no surprise.

So to be clear... One of the dangers of opening yourself to love, and I should have said Ecstatic Love, is that if you are lonely, dealing with unresolved issues, going through a MLC (mid-life crises) and you are a first-timer to the experience, you must be very careful what you expose yourself to!

You might end up falling in love with an AAC (Anthropomorphic Animated Character) as I did. Or you may go out clubbing and fall in love with the wrong person (I am guessing here, but it makes sense.) Hence the reference to 200 proof Love Potion. All the effects of being drunk, mixed with the tendency to fall in love uncontrollably with something. Well this is what I think happened to me anyway.

On another note... Please be very careful listening to voices separate from yourself inside! When I refer to listening to the small, quiet voice I was referring to the voice of your true self, whatever your belief may be, that part of you which lives on after your physical body has died. Hearing other voices and imaginary friends inside, creating a fantasy reality inside your head, these things all have dangerous pitfalls. There's a fine line between daydreaming, which I think is OK, and being completely immersed in another reality separate from this one.

That inner voice doesn't speak as much as it gives you a sense of whether or not you should do something. You have an urge, and this thought, feeling, emotion - whatever - comes in and you know you shouldn't give in to it. This is separate form your conscience. That only tells you whether or not something you are thinking about doing, or have done, is right or wrong. Your deeper self would have given you a simple sense that you shouldn't do something, before you conscience tells you doing it would be bad. I hope this makes sense...

Remember the mind can not tell the difference between a real and imagined experience. That thing I did which I should not have? As far as my brain is concerned it really happened. I see it clearly, like anyone would revisit a past memory. This is a powerful feature of the mind that we can take advantage of, but we have to be careful or else we risk fracturing or damaging it.

Of course I would never presume to tell you what is real or not. It just seems to me that a healthy mental state is not one where, in waking reality, you are hearing voices and seeing things that are not in this physical reality. I think there are safeguards in place to explore these sort of things in daydreams, dreams and astral projection. But in physical, waking reality your brain should be fully present in the moment, along with the rest of you.

Those are my thoughts anyhow -
- DreamBliss

Originally Posted by Xan

Here are some heart meditations that may help: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.cphp?t=4106

Thank you for your help!

However your link isn't working... Could you re-post it?

Thanks!
- DreamBliss

The heart does what the heart does. By trying to examine the way of the heart with the obvious limitations of the mind is like trying to hold a butterfly wearing boxing gloves. There are insights and wisdoms that interplay with the heart but these are a far cry from the insanity of the mind. As was stated, the very act of the opening of the heart will release all energies and blocks that have been suppressing it. This will hurt a lot but ultimately is a very good thing.

[JaysonR]

Originally Posted by DreamBliss

Thank you for your help!

However your link isn't working... Could you re-post it?

Thanks!
- DreamBliss

Try this:
http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=4106

There was an extra, "c", before, "php", getting in the way.

[Usako]

I get what you mean about the voices DreamBliss, but rest assured my friend for I know that at least that voice I hear (Buffy) is the one from my Spirit Guide, or Higher Awareness...though I am leading towards SG. The others, those are my thoughts that can get pretty annoying at times, and not very nice.

On the subject of Love I can't agree more, for I was the one that in the past looking for love and those feelings I lost when my TF went away led me to get into a relationship with the least desirable man, what I'm saying man...a boy! An evil sociopath, immature boy.

I guess we should pay attention to those things, but at times the heart is a very hard to control thing, and even if we don't mean or want to it develops feelings for someone without us being able to stop it!

Right now is like I am telling it "No heart, no! It's stupid, stop!" and he's going "Oh yes, but I love him!" hahaha just trying to put a funny spin on things!

You will find the right person for you, I believe that, and all you have to do is believe it too.

Why bold and enlarge my name? I don't understand what you meant by that, if anything.

Just curious -
- DreamBliss