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Go Back   Spiritual Forums > Spirituality & Beliefs > Love & Relationships -Friends and Family

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  #1  
Old 01-01-2017, 10:15 PM
Light lady Light lady is offline
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Join Date: May 2016
Location: Uk
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Self esteem?

So, I did a lot of work on my self esteem in 2016, I thought I was doing really well, but...... a friend of mine had a party today and we weren't invited. No matter how much I tell myself there is probably a good reason, I feel hurt that I wasn't invited, I just want to get over this (what I consider to be a weakness in myself, fear of being left out etc). Is this inherent in human nature, or inherent in me?
It drives me mad!
Xx
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  #2  
Old 01-01-2017, 10:19 PM
itsjustaname itsjustaname is online now
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Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 52
 
Post patience is virtue

Been there done that....

Developing healthy self esteem takes a lot of time and practice. Don't worry if you haven't attained it all just yet. It is worth the time and investment to obtain it. Just take your time and be patient with the process (that is ongoing).
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  #3  
Old 01-01-2017, 10:26 PM
Light lady Light lady is offline
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It's just so frustrating, I was doing so well, but I feel like I've taken a massive step back :(.
Thanks for reply. Xx
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  #4  
Old 01-01-2017, 11:51 PM
itsjustaname itsjustaname is online now
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Post you are the space between stimulus and response

Maybe the feeling of being hurt for not being invited to your friends party is different than any lack of self-esteem. I think our self-esteem is related to our social systems, and if you feel rejected by someone you love or like it can make you feel low and down about yourself.

Some of the psychotherapists make the point, that you can benefit from this pain in a few ways:
1) learn from it (this is generally good advice). why did you feel hurt? how can you prevent it in the future? try to really pin point the source of the hurt, which goes to the next point:
2) the psychotherapists say that you are ultimately responsible for your own emotional experience. it is no set of circumstances, nothing in the external world, it is up to you how you respond to anything. they say that if 2 people experience the same thing, but they respond in different ways, that suggests that it is not the circumstances that are responsible for how you feel, but something in your consciousness..


gtg.

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  #5  
Old 11-01-2017, 05:31 PM
Estelwen Estelwen is offline
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It is human nature, don't worry. The waves come and go. Just be aware when these emotions arise and don't judge yourself for it.
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  #6  
Old 11-01-2017, 07:56 PM
FairyCrystal FairyCrystal is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Light lady
So, I did a lot of work on my self esteem in 2016, I thought I was doing really well, but...... a friend of mine had a party today and we weren't invited. No matter how much I tell myself there is probably a good reason, I feel hurt that I wasn't invited, I just want to get over this (what I consider to be a weakness in myself, fear of being left out etc). Is this inherent in human nature, or inherent in me?
It drives me mad!
Xx
DUnno if you're still reading this topic, but the energies from approx 28th Dec - 7th of Jan were downright unpleasant. Made many ppl wobble, feel off-kilter, emotional etc.
I didn't have a particularly good time myself.
On Jan 8th it felt much much better again. More positive and creative energy. Then the full moon energy was upon us, and this full moon is not the easiest ones either. Can trigger similar stuff...
So right now you could also feel off-kilter, emotional, wobbling all over the place, because of the full moon.
Thank goodness the moon will be full tomorrow at 12.35 on the mainland, UK time 11.35.
Usually full moon energies lessen quite quickly, sometimes on the spot, after it's been full.

Apart from all that, much of what has been going on since at least a year all touches on your 'weak spots'. All the portal activations etc. AND this full moon had to do with letting go, finishing a cycle, dealing with old stuff that doesn't serve you anymore.
Low self-esteem is such a thing too... I know, cos I've got the same thing, was also doing okay. Then just before New Year until Jan 7th it hit me like a brick in the face again.
I am real glad that week and a half is over! It was horrible.
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  #7  
Old 19-01-2017, 05:13 AM
Really! Really! is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 519
 
I don't believe reacting to being slighted has to do w/an issue w/your self esteem ...
However, I think it could impact your self esteem --- hurt feelings, questioning yourself, etc ...
She is, afterall, a trusted friend you have/had confidence in as well as have/had automatic expectations of ...
I know I would expect an invitation since a friend is not just anybody ...
My friends are meaningful people who are a part of my life ...
It's alright to have expectations ...
If a person cannot expect someone close to do the right thing where they're concerned how can they expect your love & trust?

Have you discussed the issue w/her?
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  #8  
Old 19-01-2017, 08:09 AM
Lorelyen Lorelyen is offline
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These things happen. As itsjustaname said, it takes a long time to make the changes to oneself that would fall under "self esteem", to cement them into self confidence; and become apparent to those around you.

You don't mention how long you've known this person but not inviting you could be with how they perceived you in former times, could be just an oversight or the thought that you may not enjoy it.

So, hurt you may be, but if your self confidence is on the up, try simply to shrug it off and reckon that there are plenty of things you can direct your new you at. When you next meet this person act as if nothing had happened unless you feel really obliged to raise the issue in which case do so in the most casual of ways. "I noticed you had a party the other day. How did it go?" Point is, don't make it obvious that you're seeking information about why you weren't invited. If you asked direct you'd put the person on the spot, probably cause them embarrassment and, who knows? give out a sign that your self-esteem issue hasn't gone away yet.

...
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  #9  
Old Today, 07:56 AM
ocean breeze ocean breeze is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Light lady
So, I did a lot of work on my self esteem in 2016, I thought I was doing really well, but...... a friend of mine had a party today and we weren't invited. No matter how much I tell myself there is probably a good reason, I feel hurt that I wasn't invited, I just want to get over this (what I consider to be a weakness in myself, fear of being left out etc). Is this inherent in human nature, or inherent in me?
It drives me mad!
Xx

I would say acknowledging all that is part of having a healthy self esteem.
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