Anyone have any of the following kinds of dreams?

[Aislynn]

Hi all.
Ok, where to start.... I suppose with my twin flame dreams as that was the very first kind I had, at age 17. I first dreamt of a tallish guy in his early 20's, blonde hair, blue eyes and his name is John. I knew it was different than any other dream I could ever remember having. I knew John was real and the connection was overwhelming. I even told my sister about it at the time. I have had many dreams over the years since then with John. I say 'with' John because that's how it feels, like we are meeting in a dream. These dreams are more- alive... more vibrant, more real than a regular dream. John has aged right along with me over the years. When we dream together it is so, so incredibly intense. The connection, the love, the peace, the shear joy is indescribable. And when I wake the sense of loss, emptiness and sadness is just as powerful as the connection, love, peace and joy. These dreams stay with me. I have even woke at times still feeling him. Once I could feel him up against my back, feel the warmth of him and the weight of his arm around me, feel his breath on the skin of my neck. I could SMELL him, his special scent. Holy, that sounds so weird and crazy, even to me. I have woken to still feel his hand in mine, and another time I woke with the feel of his kiss still lingering.

So, that is my first kind of dream. And if that was the only kind, I'd probably truly believe I was crazy, nuts, insane. But it's not.

The second kind of dream I have, well, I'm not sure what you would call them. I suppose the only way to explain is to tell you briefly about one of them, and then tell you the real life consequence. One dream I had, I dreamt my then long time boyfriend and I were having this huge backyard BBQ and all of our many friends were there as well as his siblings. I would go up to a person and talk with them and discover my boyfriend hadn't been honest with me about something. Again and again this happened. Now, my bf and I were together for years, we were looking at houses to buy, he had never given me any reason to be jealous or insecure. And he had never lied to me, when people lie they tend to get caught at some point. Well, I got my dream message clear- he was lying to me. He fessed up Fast forward a few weeks and I have another dream. And if the last one was loud and clear, this one was screaming, there was another female, internet based, who wanted to get together in real life and- sending him nude photos! Of course it was true but then he decided I must have hacked into his email somehow. Oh yes. It was a freaking disaster, a nightmare. I'm telling him I had a dream and he's calling me a liar. Lol yeah, this 'gift' was no kind of gift I wanted, this was a freaking curse!

Of course, some of that falls squarely on me because I had decided to use crystals to try to 'assist' me in dreams, to help enlighten me when I clearly had no business attempting that when I really didn't know what I was doing. Boy, I sure got 'enlightened'. I ended up with such a bad experience and scared myself so badly, actually what I felt was more along the lines of terror, that I ended up wrapping up my crystals in cloth and stuffing them as far away from me and my bedroom as I could get. For a long time I blocked everything, because I didn't even have dreams with John.

I have had dreams, that I believe are past lives. I spoke with someone who did past life regressions and the one is a past life, with John. It was during the civil war. I need to get back there at some point, I need to know what happened although I believe I know, I'd like a bit more, I don't know, confirmation.

Any of these kinds of dreams are different from average, regular dreams. I'm not sure how to explain exactly how they're different. More vivid is how I describe them. I just 'know' when I have them that they're my 'other' kind of dream and not a regular dream. I also know clearly what the message is, I don't have to try to decipher it for meaning or look at some dream dictionary. Like with the BBQ, I knew it wasn't showing me a future event. The one with the nude photos was in a similar vain. They are messages wrapped within the dream, kind of like... what they call 'Easter eggs' in movies and tv series.

At any rate, the last week has been, well, insane. For several days in a row I consistently had dreams with John. I mean, every time I would fall asleep, nap, he was there. I have never had back to back dreams with him like that and it started to take a toll on me. Not the dreams per say, the dreams are always wonderful. But every time I wake the feeling of being ripped apart, like having my heart ripped in half, over and over and over again, that was really starting to have a negative effect on me. Which is why I turned to the internet to seek others out, to find out what might be going on, because I was really beginning to think maybe I WAS crazy, a nut, that I was truly insane. And that is how I came to be here.

Now, I attempted to use crystals to help me in enlightenment and to try to gain some control in the past, and as you can see, that ended with disastrous results. So I'd really like to know if anyone knows what these dreams seem to be, have others had experiences with dreams like me, and how can I not only get a handle on them, but use them. Something safer than the crystals fiasco.

I started with meditation, and THAT'S something for the meditation forum. I haven't had a dream with John though since my first attempt at guided meditation. Now I feel sort of guilty, like I ran him off. I know, I sound like a crazy person.

Any advice or guidance would be so very welcome, as would experiences you've had.

Thank you for the time you've spent reading.

In light and friendship,
~Ais