Need for advice regarding motivation/inner flame

Originally Posted by Laisrian

I can connect with the universe easily, I can get answers from my guides, I can connect with my soulmate. I can do it all! But it was like I was an "cold" soul, with no flame to power it up. That's why I said "should". It feels right... It makes sense. I see it happening with others. So why am I empty? I don't want to be empty. I want my flame.

'Should' never makes sense, the only thing that makes sense is what IS - and that's what 'should' isn't.

You're not empty, you're just not looking in the mirror. Can a candle see its own flame?

[Laisrian]

Originally Posted by Baile

You are welcome. Happy to read your very positive response.

It is early, I'm just suggesting that late 20s are a time of real transition. A lot of self-reflection and self-assessment takes place: getting serious about establishing a career; family planning or going back to college for some; etc. I would say the more awake one is in life -- the more spiritually aware and in-tune with one's soul needs -- the more sensitive one is to soul-development questions and life cycles.

For example, as a very young child, age 8 and 9, I already had an acute sense of what moral behavior (spiritual behavior) was all about. I was years ahead of other children. Really, mine was more of an adult relationship to life questions of right and wrong, and the proper way to treat others. Awareness wakes us up in that way, and in that sense we're not as bound to static timetables. And that's because for us it's more organic and natural; for us it's a continual and ongoing spiritual life journey.

That's quite interesting to know! Thank you! I should take notes about this process. I had no idea it happened and it will probably happen sooner with sensitive people :)

Originally Posted by Michelle11

I didn't say he was judging you about it. Are you judging yourself about it? Again, the idea you should be doing something is born from someone else's perception of who you are or are not supposed to be. You aren't supposed to be anything. You can be anything you want but you aren't supposed to be anything specific. I would watch comparing your experience to anyone else's. You aren't doing anything wrong. You are not broken. There is nothing lacking in you. The idea that there is could end up causing great pain in your heart. Instead of asking what is wrong with me try asking what will bring me joy. Go out, try different things, experience life, take a path and see where it leads if you don't know. If you sense you are shut off from inner passion, it is there, you have a flame, it may just may be blocked. Then ask yourself what is holding me back. All your answers are inside you. If you readily connect with your soul and or guides I highly recommend you consult with them. They will have what you need to move forward more than your own mind or someone outside you. Take care.

Thank you so much for your words! I have been meditating about it... And yes, the "should" is actually heartfelt. There are desires, there are things I'm supposed to do. But I think it's blocked because I can't feel it burning... It's there, but the passion isn't. So I have to force myself to do things because I know I should do them. But just because of that. It's not like I have a drive or a passion that pushes me forward.
I should ask the universe what I should do to overcome this block. My soulmate confirmed me that I do have a block, but he doesn't want to tell me anything else about it. He says it's something I should learn by myself. Thank you!

Originally Posted by Badcopyinc

I agree with Michelle11 last post.

I was feeling sort of the same way a while ago. But i was fortunate to learn certain things that inhibited me to think I'm behind or lacking. Instead i was basically doing what Michelle11 advised. Just kept doing what felt good or felt right. next thing i knew i was buying a 3D printer against my logic. but following what felt right. then i started designing things i love (spiritual things). not saying this is what I'm supposed to do. but it led me to a lot of progress and in the process my purpose and direction was revealed to me.

Instead of trying to force it i just knew it would come to me. i work on electronics a lot and when something isn't going right our policy here is to go for a walk and goof off. usually coming back with a clear mind offers the solution i could not see prior.

Thank you! It seems I shouldn't worry about this then. When it's time, it shall be clear :)

Originally Posted by Sugar-n-Spice

So I have been wanting to comment on this because I had a conversation with someone to the opposite effect. That this "inner flame" as you call it hinders spiritual development and that I need to be more as you describe yourself. One thing that stands out to me by far from everything you wrote above is that you are okay with your life and moving forward...this means you are content and progressing through life. There are many people who struggle greatly with being content with themselves. Being content with oneself is a very important part of spiritual growth for many because, depending on the philosophy one is following, the self is connected to the collective or the "all." To be at peace with oneself lessens the conflicts one has to handle when processing connections.

So in effect I appreciated the criticism because although apparently contrary to my nature it led me to appreciate what keeps me content within myself. Perhaps your soulmate was doing the same. I don't know the correct term for it in logic but it is akin the socratic method when the teacher asks questions to teach instead of just giving instruction.

AND I also had your post in consideration when thinking things through so thanks so much!
Xo

Oh, I'm glad the post helped someone else :)

Well. Right now, things are stable. But probably I'm not progressing much... I have been neglecting my physical side. I already approached the emotional side and healed everything that was hurting my progress. My spiritual side is great and in a whole other level compared to everything else. But it's so hard trying to reach my inner flame to feel the will to improve every side of me...

And yes, my soulmate is like that. He usually questions me a lot to make me think. He doesn't like to tell me the answers because I would lack the whole process to get them. So he pokes around the subject. Sometimes it works right away. Others (like this one) take a bit more of time to get things through. It is a tough subject :P

Originally Posted by FallingLeaves

you don't have to force yourself to have a goal if you don't want one. Just because everyone else does it that doesn't make it 'good'.

anyway you say you are moving forward despite not having a specific direction? Maybe that is enough!

Well. I am, but not in all aspects in my life, I guess. Work/study is safe for now. But I'm not progressing in my physical aspect and I'm lacking the will to approach it. That's the problem. I should want to improve it... I'm not blind. I know this will be bad for myself if I don't take of myself. But where is my will? =/

Originally Posted by Greenslade

'Should' never makes sense, the only thing that makes sense is what IS - and that's what 'should' isn't.

You're not empty, you're just not looking in the mirror. Can a candle see its own flame?

Maybe... I should tap into the universe. I only realised how to grasp my higher self recently (maybe three days ago) and I haven't tried it yet! It's a bit weird trying to have progress in my life without even talking with myself. I've been relying too much on the universe...

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Laisrian

Maybe... I should tap into the universe. I only realised how to grasp my higher self recently (maybe three days ago) and I haven't tried it yet! It's a bit weird trying to have progress in my life without even talking with myself. I've been relying too much on the universe...

Take Greenslade's "'should' never makes sense" observation with a grain of salt. There is most definitely an aspect of 'should' in our spiritual seeking. Otherwise we would never progress, and soul evolution is in fact the reason we are here, and why we repeatedly incarnate. Wisdom is understanding the difference between ego 'wanting,' and higher self 'knowing.' Most definitely, the higher self guides us towards those soul-development aspects we should, and even need to, evolve towards.

[Michelle11]

Originally Posted by Laisrian

Thank you so much for your words! I have been meditating about it... And yes, the "should" is actually heartfelt. There are desires, there are things I'm supposed to do. But I think it's blocked because I can't feel it burning... It's there, but the passion isn't. So I have to force myself to do things because I know I should do them. But just because of that. It's not like I have a drive or a passion that pushes me forward.
I should ask the universe what I should do to overcome this block. My soulmate confirmed me that I do have a block, but he doesn't want to tell me anything else about it. He says it's something I should learn by myself. Thank you!

All I am saying is the more you try to force the river with shoulds the less likely you will get the results you are looking for. Progress happens organically in its own time through life experiences that result in new understandings of ourselves. These experiences happen when and where they are supposed to happen and not a minute sooner or later so we are always where we are meant to be, doing what we are supposed to be doing. You are not dropping any balls, you are never not doing what you are supposed to be doing. If you feel blocked there is a reason for it and self discovery is the way to unblock. We find self discovery by soul searching our feelings, behaviors and beliefs. Often our early childhood experiences have programmed some sort of limited thinking that needs to be weeded out and shifted. Your life will conspire to show you those limited thoughts by drawing events and circumstances that help you see yourself in action. And in the process you will become unblocked naturally. So again, I suggest confiding with your soul to ask what you need to know to move forward and something will conspire, an event, a chance meeting or simple conversation to help you understand what holds you back from living your life with abandon. But in no way are you not doing what you should be doing. It's not possible. We are always where we should be. It's not possible to be anywhere else.

Originally Posted by Michelle11

We find self discovery by soul searching our feelings, behaviors and beliefs. Often our early childhood experiences have programmed some sort of limited thinking that needs to be weeded out and shifted. Your life will conspire to show you those limited thoughts by drawing events and circumstances that help you see yourself in action. And in the process you will become unblocked naturally. So again, I suggest confiding with your soul to ask what you need to know to move forward and something will conspire, an event, a chance meeting or simple conversation to help you understand what holds you back from living your life with abandon. But in no way are you not doing what you should be doing. It's not possible. We are always where we should be. It's not possible to be anywhere else.

What can i do to help add a like feature to this forum. because this right here!!!

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Michelle11

But in no way are you not doing what you should be doing. It's not possible. We are always where we should be. It's not possible to be anywhere else.

But... when I was a smoker, when I was drinking 4 liters of wine + plus beers every weekend, I knew I was doing something I should not be doing. And I spent months in that place of knowing I should not be doing that, before I was finally able to kick those addictions.

So again, there is an element to all this of, "I should be doing something else, other than what I'm currently doing."

I see it this way: generally speaking, the should-voice we need to learn to block out is the voice of the ego-self. There are spiritual self-development exercises that can help with this in fact. And the should-voice we need to learn to connect and interact with, is the higher-self voice. It's this higher-self "You should be doing this and that" direction that leads to healthy spiritual progress.

That said, always with the understanding that "I am perfect in this moment" even while moving towards self-improvement objectives, yes.

[Michelle11]

Originally Posted by Baile

But... when I was a smoker, when I was drinking 4 liters of wine + plus beers every weekend, I knew I was doing something I should not be doing. And I spent months in that place of knowing I should not be doing that, before I was finally able to kick those addictions.

So again, there is an element to all this of, "I should be doing something else, other than what I'm currently doing."

I see it this way: generally speaking, the should-voice we need to learn to block out is the voice of the ego-self. There are spiritual self-development exercises that can help with this in fact. And the should-voice we need to learn to connect and interact with, is the higher-self voice. It's this higher-self "You should be doing this and that" direction that leads to healthy spiritual progress.

That said, always with the understanding that "I am perfect in this moment" even while moving towards self-improvement objectives, yes.

Who says those things are bad? Society does. But nothing is inherently good or bad. It just is. Does doing anything to excess cause us consequences, maybe but it was more likely guilt because of what health experts were saying that caused you to feel you should stop those "unhealthy" habits. But you were possibly doing them for a darn good purpose. To help you cope because you may not have been taught how else to cope with life. Or possibly your soul was interested in learning how to break addiction. I don't know you so I can say for sure but most who fall into addiction are looking to replace something that they feel is lost, to help them cope and feel better. Either way you were where you were meant to be and were motivated to stop a habit you felt was not healthy for you. That will likely serve your body well.

I am not saying that we need not be motivated towards self improvement. Just the use of the word should can lead to all sorts of guilt and self judgment that can actually hinder or slow our growth, not help motivate us. I'm not against anyone trying to self improve I just believe the use of the word should can be damaging. That is the point I have been trying to make. I shouldn't be blocked, I should be motivated are criticisms. It means a person isn't who they feel they are supposed to be. It's demeaning. What happens if a person doesn't achieve a should? Are they then a failure in life? Often what is next is what is wrong with me, I must be broken. Where I feel blocked and would like to move past it to be motivated is a proactive statement and moves life forward. It's not a demand or expectation that needs to happen but a desire and wish for ourselves. I'm not saying using the word should can't motivate just that it it has pitfalls that can hurt us in the long run. It's limited thinking that gets us caught in what we are not instead of who we are now which is already perfectly fine the way we are now.

[CrystalSong]

You are in a state of desire, you are wanting to know what you should desire!
LOL Isn't the mind tricky?
Contemplate that sticky wicket for a moment!

Right now study your mind, be in the experience you are in, learning what is the reborn you, discarding what doesn't serve you, embracing, discovering and building what does serve you.
We don't try and develop a career when we're still in school learning, first we must build the foundation for a structure to be built upon.

You are still learning right now, it maybe some years before it congeals into what you will create or build. You can't know from here what that will be - the learning must first be done, the path walked, the foundation formed.

Blessings to you! <3

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Michelle11

Who says those things are bad? Society does. But nothing is inherently good or bad. It just is.

Well there are many crimes that are indeed inherently bad. Murder and genocide for example.

Regarding my points and generally speaking, getting blackout drunk every weekend is unhealthy and bad. Smoking so much that you're addicted, and always feeling sick and rundown, is unhealthy and bad. Nothing to do with what society thinks, and everything to do with one's physical, emotional, mental and soul-spiritual well-being. And I agreed it's important to understand "I am perfect in this moment" even while moving towards self-improvement objectives, yes.

[SaturninePluto]

Posted by Baile
Hi Laisrian. What you describe is common as you approach your Saturn Return. You are completing the first cycle of your incarnation, and are preparing to enter the next. Having a clean slate -- not knowing what you want -- is a great place to be. It means you are free, open to anything and everything, without baggage and encumbrances.

I couldn't agree here with this more. Not knowing what you currently want at this time can be very freeing, and open. If you are currently looking into some spiritual matters, this is a great place to be at if you wish to look at it that way, open, free. Keeping your options open and preparing for any choices you do decide to make.

However I must absolutely agree also here with Michelle. You should not be any way than how you are right now- a mentor telling myself I should or should not be a certain way doesn't set right to me, also be aware this is according to his views. You do not need necessarily to adopt every one of his views to be able to learn from him.

With that said what I can not fathom here at all is why it was said you have no flame within? This to me does not seem right. We all have gifts, talents, personality and that fire within whether we see it or not.

I would offer the advice that you may wish to relax and learn what you can, with the realization that you are capable of making your own decisions. At the same time you do not have to agree with everything told to you such as "You have no fire within". Who is another to say that to you? Please consider that.

Does not mean you absolutely must end the friendship, but at the same time, you also do not have to believe everything you are told. If you do that is fine, but if you do not that is fine too, and you are still teachable, even if not by this individual, there are many more you can continue to learn from.

All my best to you.

Blessings.