Being an Empath

[DoubleM]

The trademark of an empath is feeling and absorbing other people’s emotions and/or physical symptoms because of their high sensitivities.
That’s a quote from a page by Judith Orloff, MD on Psychology today.

It’s an accurate description, as are the traits shown in the article. I’m not posting an ad for the page, only giving credit to an accurate description.

I realized I was an empath kind of late in life, it was like a bombshell after several retail jobs had been utter failures, I was unable to filter my reactions to customers who were hostile, I, in turn, would become hostile as well without understanding why my reaction was so strong. I realized that much of my life my emotions and feelings, attitudes, were confusing, even to myself.

It dawned on me then that when I would make friends and be so in tune with them, that I would mirror them, unknowingly... and often, they thought I was mimicking them, the backlash I would receive. However the times when someone around me was not feeling well and I would insist they weren't "fine", helped some insure me with their trust, and for others, mistrust when it was someone afraid of such 'odd' talents.
Many people would really freak when I knew they were lying to me and called them on it. I've been told my "Quest for the truth is a bad thing" lol. That's a whole other story though...

I read much about it and understood finally what I was feeling wasn't voluntary, that was a small comfort.

I guess all this is to say that I understand being an Empath and its implications much better now, but I've still yet to find an effective way of creating that bubble around myself, the one that lets positive vibes in, and keeps negative vibes out...

Where I live now, my landlord lives in the apartment below, he and his wife are very negative and hate-filled people, they resent, they argue like mad, they gossip, she hates me and my husband and my son, he is verbally abusive toward her, he belittles everyone, he has insulted me to my face, even. A very toxic energy. They don't evict us because we are perfect tenants. But the toxic energy is reason alone that has made me want to move. And now, she's pregnant again... their first child is a tornado of tantrums and they just let her stomp, scream, without any consideration for neighbors all-around. That is so disrespectful, in my eyes. They told us, "Remember that We OWN this house, you only rent" . Wow.
BUT, moving is a big gamble, and expensive... I have a dog and 99% of apartments in this city will not accept them. I live in a great location, by the water, by a huge park, bike path, hike trail.. 10 minutes away from a metropolitan city. and the rent is not very expensive. So negativity vs fear...
And I'm OCD.

So I really need to learn an effective way to block them out. I know there needs to be a daily exercise to help me do so, I haven't found the right one yet.
I feel the negative energy instantly when I get home, its like quicksand.
I do meditate, albeit not often enough, I'm also A.D.D. and meditating is difficult. Finding the time is challenging. I know... excuses. But even when I did meditate often, it didn't seem to help block the icky energies.

So that is my story, any have insights or stories to share with me?

[Baile]

Originally Posted by DoubleM

Where I live now, my landlord lives in the apartment below, he and his wife are very negative and hate-filled people, they resent, they argue like mad, they gossip, she hates me and my husband and my son, he is verbally abusive toward her, he belittles everyone, he has insulted me to my face, even. A very toxic energy. They don't evict us because we are perfect tenants. But the toxic energy is reason alone that has made me want to move. And now, she's pregnant again... their first child is a tornado of tantrums and they just let her stomp, scream, without any consideration for neighbors all-around. That is so disrespectful, in my eyes. They told us, "Remember that We OWN this house, you only rent" . Wow.
BUT, moving is a big gamble, and expensive... I have a dog and 99% of apartments in this city will not accept them. I live in a great location, by the water, by a huge park, bike path, hike trail.. 10 minutes away from a metropolitan city. and the rent is not very expensive. So negativity vs fear...

Wow what a description. Normally I would suggest talking to them, getting to know them better, establishing human contact on friendly terms etc. But I don't know, it sounds like they are who they are, and also that you've decided you really can't live with it.

Which is good, that's a decision, that's clarity, and nothing can move forward until you're clear and you decide to set things in motion. Have you read Goethe's "Until one is committed..." quote? "The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too." That applies here. Also something I came across months back: The relationship between Spirit and the human being can be likened to earth to the farmer. Until the farmer plants the seed, nothing will ever grow. But whatever you do, don't do it out of panic. Do it out of strength and common sense. Start looking for other places, and stay until you find what you want. It might mean you lose a month's rent; that can happen if you find the perfect place and they need a month's rent today. But so what, it's only money. You're paying for the privilege in that case.

[Tuesday]

What a wonderful opportunity a) to learn how to shield yourself b)to learn how to love your neighbours c) to get to know your neighbours d) (and this goes together with the previous one) to get to help them.

As an empath, you have a lot to give if you just find the right ways to do so. And you will.

Plus. No more excuses. If you are add, don't meditate. If it helps you, meditate. (know your limitations)

[DoubleM]

Originally Posted by Baile

Wow what a description. Normally I would suggest talking to them, getting to know them better, establishing human contact on friendly terms etc. But I don't know, it sounds like they are who they are, and also that you've decided you really can't live with it.

Which is good, that's a decision, that's clarity, and nothing can move forward until you're clear and you decide to set things in motion. Have you read Goethe's "Until one is committed..." quote? "The moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too." That applies here. Also something I came across months back: The relationship between Spirit and the human being can be likened to earth to the farmer. Until the farmer plants the seed, nothing will ever grow. But whatever you do, don't do it out of panic. Do it out of strength and common sense. Start looking for other places, and stay until you find what you want. It might mean you lose a month's rent; that can happen if you find the perfect place and they need a month's rent today. But so what, it's only money. You're paying for the privilege in that case.

Hello!
Good points, truly.
About the neighbors, we've been here 5 years. I know all I can... I have extremely low tolerance for hypocrites and liars, and they are both. I have proof. I did go through a period where I was sending them love, kindness, pray for them, trying to connect with their higher spirit, it works for a short time, but an event happens and I'm back to square one.
And then, the thought of "Situations are put in your journey to challenge you, to teach you something you need to learn". So if I run away from this one, won't it just happen again, elsewhere? I wish I had a shut-off switch for my brain...

I -think- I'm committed to the task, but the comment prompts more in-depth study, for sure.
Thank you!

[Baile]

Originally Posted by DoubleM

And then, the thought of "Situations are put in your journey to challenge you, to teach you something you need to learn". So if I run away from this one, won't it just happen again, elsewhere?

What I would say here is this that the "life challenge" thing is misunderstood in many cases I think. For example, being in an abusive situation doesn't mean one has to stay in the abuse order to learn. Far from it, all abusive situations are there to teach that abuse is inappropriate. To teach one to identify abusive situations, so as to avoid them in the future. Not that you're suggesting it, but taking time to look for a better place to live, is definitely not running away from things. You've learned what you needed to learn here over five years, and now it's time to move on. If you packed up in frustration and moved out without finding a new place first, yes that might be running away. But you won't do that because you know not to. You're conscious and aware. You can trust that aspect of yourself.

[running]

the more open one is energetically the more they take in. the only way out of the pain i found is to keep going. until so open the bliss comes in and neutralizes it all.

[Bohdiyana]

Move that's my advice. Toxic people negatively affect everything and everyone around them. Some living places are also vortexes of negative energies. I rented a place once where it was non-stop negative energy. Neighbors flooded me, threw up on my deck, and far worse! So yea get away from those people and that place!

[slowsnake]

Originally Posted by DoubleM

It’s an accurate description, as are the traits shown in the article. I’m not posting an ad for the page, only giving credit to an accurate description.

I realized I was an empath kind of late in life, it was like a bombshell after several retail jobs had been utter failures, I was unable to filter my reactions to customers who were hostile, I, in turn, would become hostile as well without understanding why my reaction was so strong. I realized that much of my life my emotions and feelings, attitudes, were confusing, even to myself.

It dawned on me then that when I would make friends and be so in tune with them, that I would mirror them, unknowingly... and often, they thought I was mimicking them, the backlash I would receive. However the times when someone around me was not feeling well and I would insist they weren't "fine", helped some insure me with their trust, and for others, mistrust when it was someone afraid of such 'odd' talents.
Many people would really freak when I knew they were lying to me and called them on it. I've been told my "Quest for the truth is a bad thing" lol. That's a whole other story though...

I read much about it and understood finally what I was feeling wasn't voluntary, that was a small comfort.

I guess all this is to say that I understand being an Empath and its implications much better now, but I've still yet to find an effective way of creating that bubble around myself, the one that lets positive vibes in, and keeps negative vibes out...

Where I live now, my landlord lives in the apartment below, he and his wife are very negative and hate-filled people, they resent, they argue like mad, they gossip, she hates me and my husband and my son, he is verbally abusive toward her, he belittles everyone, he has insulted me to my face, even. A very toxic energy. They don't evict us because we are perfect tenants. But the toxic energy is reason alone that has made me want to move. And now, she's pregnant again... their first child is a tornado of tantrums and they just let her stomp, scream, without any consideration for neighbors all-around. That is so disrespectful, in my eyes. They told us, "Remember that We OWN this house, you only rent" . Wow.
BUT, moving is a big gamble, and expensive... I have a dog and 99% of apartments in this city will not accept them. I live in a great location, by the water, by a huge park, bike path, hike trail.. 10 minutes away from a metropolitan city. and the rent is not very expensive. So negativity vs fear...
And I'm OCD.

So I really need to learn an effective way to block them out. I know there needs to be a daily exercise to help me do so, I haven't found the right one yet.
I feel the negative energy instantly when I get home, its like quicksand.
I do meditate, albeit not often enough, I'm also A.D.D. and meditating is difficult. Finding the time is challenging. I know... excuses. But even when I did meditate often, it didn't seem to help block the icky energies.

So that is my story, any have insights or stories to share with me?

Hello, I realised I was an empath aged 5,how did I know?
In Liverpool UK growing up in a poor family,with nothing but the basics, food,clothing and shelter!
We,myself and 2 brothers aged 6 and 9 were given pocket money of one penny,they would save their penny and I spent mine on lollies/sweets,which in 1958 really were a special treat,I shared my pennies worth of sweets with my 2 brothers,I could not eat in front of them without feeling guilty/sorry, that my friend is empathy!

In my last year at primary school I was 10 yrs old I had used my pocket money every week on cricket cards,I finally through buying and swapping got the full set of 52 cards plus 5 specials,I went to school on the Monday morning,it was the Monday after bonfire night,my mate Tommy V was sitting on the steps crying,he was poorer than us with a father who thought alcohol was more important than feeding his kids!

Well Tommy was crying because his dad died on the weekend,my heart and my whole being went out to him,I was 10 years old,I took my tobacco tin out of my pocket and gave what I had saved and collected all year to him,his eyes lit up,I walked away.

When I got home mum asked me were my cards were,I told her I gave them away! She said wait till your father gets home and you can get them back,
Dad come home and I told them both what happened,they realised then that I cared about others,that is empathy, I could never replace the cards,big deal I was satisfied and happy,so was my mate Tommy!

You are born an empath,it cannot be learned,you do not suddenly get the gift of empathy ( is it a gift,or curse) you can try be helpful and of service to others,that too is admirable.
I used to get in trouble for giving my toys away to kids in my street who had nothing,no Christmas or birthdays,they got nothing,that my friend is empathy in its pure form!

KRB

What most people don't realise is that these kinds of situations are energy systems; one person sparks something off, the other has a knee-jerk reaction and around it goes. Pretty soon it's out of control. Once you understand that it is an energy system that you're feeding into you can 'manage' your own actions within it. If you can't Love your neighbour at least stop hating them, if you can respond with humour that takes the wind out of their sails. Most people who feed these kinds of systems can't deal with sarcasm so you can try that too, it just depends on the person. Even stopping reacting will make a difference.

There are usually two sides to each story and this stood out for me.

Originally Posted by DoubleM

About the neighbors, we've been here 5 years. I know all I can... I have extremely low tolerance for hypocrites and liars, and they are both. I have proof.

Considering you have an energy system going on and you're a part of it, what part are you playing?
What do they think of you?

If you want to make changes you are the obvious place to start.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Greenslade

Considering you have an energy system going on and you're a part of it, what part are you playing?

If you want to make changes you are the obvious place to start.

DoubleM made it clear in post #4 that she understands all this fully. In fact it's rare to see someone take such conscious responsibility for their role in what it is they're experiencing. It usually happens that people are only looking for comfort and confirmation... "The neighbors are horrible and are the problem, not me" sort of thing. But as I always say: spirituality is a moral self-development path, which requires constant self-reflection and looking in the mirror. It's brutal work because it exposes all the stuff you need to work on. And most people aren't ready to do that. It's so much easier to just blame others, than it is to work on yourself and change what's required.

The other truth in all this: people are who they are, and trying to change them is a pointless exercise. In this specific case, it sounds like the landlords are just too unconscious to ever be able to come to a thoughtful understanding. The pearls-before-swine scriptural truth comes to mind here. As in, there are circumstances in life where you don't even bother wasting your time trying.