Extreme feelings with TF of love and hate

[BlueCat]

Do you feel the same?I still love my TF and we get along fine for many things and at the same time i don't want to talk with him, i feel nauseated because he don't want to let go of the "karmic" soul he is with to be with me for several reasons. For me a three way relationship is a big no, especially with this person that used to emotionally abuse and blackmail me and now abuses TF probably, from what i can see from the actions and stuff. I feel nauseous for this not for TF as a individual, it's because instead to fully choose me or that person, he is in a fence. It's the actions of our TF that make us repelled towards them. And probably the same is for us "stayers", also runners go away from us for something we did.
Recently i did a 360° change of heart because i'm tired of this cursed merry go round, after a long time (years of total no interest for others) i found someone really interesting and i hope it works out. My chakras sometimes interacted at the thought of this new person (heart and sacral mostly), even if i admired him from afar from a long time before trying a contact. I feel this is a fertile time for a change, maybe this would take my TF journey forward? Who knows. If i'm happy with a new SM i won't return to TF in a romantic way until the SM connection breaks and TF breaks his romantic connections to others as well. I cannot fully commit again to TF if in case he goes forward, meet and do stuff and later go away again. I cannot be single for life because i have to wait for TF nor i die if i'm single, it's nice to have someone stable despite TF presence would be always here like a ghost. I know for sure from others here in the forums, TFs that become again single do the same S* as they were in a relationship and don't want to learn if they aren't ready.
Edit: is being in the proximity of a TF or primary SC/SM a thing that makes you shake or really really nervous right?I'm not sure if it's my anxiety and shyness but i feel very similar toward this new soulmate, my body totally shakes and feel very agitated to talk to him, despite the interation is still so minimal. It used to be the same with TF! And at the first TF meeting i took a month or more to talk more with him, before it was really minimal or silence for a while (days, maybe weeks). How curious.

[57tcjc75]

"Do you feel the same?" Yes, pretty much.
This week, 2 days in a row, latest one of, my t.f.'s calls.. I've seen another gal from building drop by, other than the one down end of hall, who I think is his twin ray.. & he has, "others," friends, which I encourage with him, not discourage..
but he was snotty on the phone, short with me. It is a side I have not witnessed from him before. He calls me then kind of snotty to get off phone after a bit.
I'm like... ok.. by, & why ARE you even calling me?
The funny thing in these connections I've had, the closest of souls, is that it's kind of like a part of myself connects with them, & it's Divine.
In a marriage, the two, become one. OK so then...
there has to be something else... children, a focus outside of, the two.
This is something I did not understand until I was married honestly.

But these connections, in my personal experience & how it plays out for how my closest souls are split ... it's like a family.. where until we are back together, other side, I doubt things will be smooth. and the love which is powerful, the healing, irreplaceable, it's like then what. ?

Perhaps, being a light worker? a person, gifted with these meetings, the powerful healing, of God, with another/ others.. is about the larger picture.
I think one has to grieve, perhaps the ideal, the perfect, as souls, of flesh, are not perfect, perfecting, in The Spirit would be the ideal & that is an energy..

T.F. seems to be leaving me be for now... & he is not one I necessarily see myself with closest, though I think he is in my primary soul group & I love him to death, emotionally we are clones & I feel I disappear if he is around too much. It's like family in ways with these ones.
The one I picture myself maybe married to in another lifetime, well like children, likely one has roles, a purpose outside of, the, "two become one."

It's kind of like having to grasp ahold of the idea that this is 3D & the love, as healing & powerful as these connections are, may not be able to be lived out fully until, "The Fullness of, The Glory of God," which I think? is probably more like higher dimensions, like 7 D or 10 D or 5 D, where one is then Spirit transformed..
So the, "mission," that HEALING then is the power to walk in .. is what it seems to me.
I can't even handle to be around this current t.f. too often where I feel it is like sucking energy from me, as emotionally we are like clones & I love him to death, but I NEED To walk in the healing & in 3D it is that energy & movement.
Perhaps when these start to grind to a halt, for now, 3D, then to work on self, the energy, that healing, to ask (this is what I do).. God, now what? WHY?
The movement is with others.. to share the beauty, power of HIS LOVE.

My heart was committed in my marriage, then with my twin ray.. I loved, the others too, yes but it seems to transfer more to heaven.. to the next realm, which IS, now, past/present/future but it's about living the love, with them with us, not separate, all of it.. to not be replete by not allowing the ****. if it takes to release to healing & counting on that God will bring more, HIS PEACE & strength, enough!
It is more draining to me to have someone pull my energy from me, & at times I need to move in The Spirit and take risks & share my healing, that merging with, a close soul, but Heaven is a very big place, I have work to do, and any interference of that perfect love of God, just is not compatible with The Divine Love of God.
I think it is about maybe hating 1D to 3D.. & loving God's Perfect Gifts, however sometimes that is not now.
Trusting God, & His Timing in all things.
The love & loved ones never seem to leave me but the definition is more real.
God Loves me too so at times HE wants me to HIMSelf that I am stronger & lean on HIM (GOD).
Just being still is what I need, & if there is interference that seems off, I'd rather be alone to keep the movement in my own life.

I think you seem like you are grieving at moment but realizing what needs to happen @ Bluecat. I think you're fine. Trust that things will work out & your healing will grow not lessen. Those are my thoughts.
I was reading about grief process with the first 2 of whom I had to work hard in that grief process. It works out, over time.

[57tcjc75]

p.s. with my first t.f. experience & with twin ray I hated them about as much as I could hate (with the back & forth, the crazy stuff, the dissing over & over, as I did not know WHY this was happening),
but I loved them more than I had loved.. so it's both in these!
Just trust that time will heal.. & God will show you WHY.

[M.Tesla]

Those feeling of love and hate are the feelings of love and hate you have for yourself; your twin flame is mirroring that for u. Choose to be the love only.

Sorry to read about your troubles but he doesn't sound like twin flame material. It seems as if he's stringing you along a bit. Fence sitting, you say, and looks like (from what you've written) you've summed it up well.

In the time I've been on this forum and tried to make sense of of this "twin flame" thing I've wondered if a person (let's call them the chaser - the one who believes the other is their twin flame when the other doesn't) has exclusive rights to the "twin" - putting the other person under obligation without their consent or cooperation - or whether they can be twin flames in the more traditional sense (inciting each other's spiritual evolution) while in another relationship.

It comes down to ground rules, I suppose. Twin flames have to believe some interpretation of the twin flame doctrine in common which doesn't necessarily involve sex or romance. You don't need a twin flame for either of those - in fact they could be a hindrance unless your path is based on excessive ecstasy - as good a way to "enlightenment" as any other. But it depends on honesty - whether, if another partner is involved, do they mind sharing their partner in sex/romance with someone else. So, of course, that has to be acceptable to all 3.

If it isn't then there are two possibilities: 1) one of the three gets ejected - someone gets hurt; 2) there'll be conflict, trust will probably become an issue - and again someone gets hurt. I don't believe it's spiritually healthy to go out of one's way to cause another heartbreak. That's why (and it's just my view) twin flaming can be one of the most unhealthy spiritual practices about. It's fine when two uncommitted people meet and quickly realise they share the twin flame doctine; and become twin flames - pretty rare I guess but possible.

If it's an excuse to try to inveigle someone into an affair then it's dishonest and delusional to swathe it in spiritual mumbo-jumbo. In the final analysis it's lust. Assure yourselves you are twin flames first and then succumb to whatever carnal, romantic stuff you want and stay honest with others. Appropriating someone else's partner if they're in a sound relationship is diseased, to me. Sure, if the person is on the cusp of breaking up with their other, there might be an excuse but don't arbitrarily pretend it's spiritual. It could be but probably isn't.

It's just my view that all this chasing and running is spiritually unhealthy - put whatever "terms" to it you like - it comes with ownership entitlements, demands, as if you own someone else's emotions and being - which no one ever can - then blaming the other person or "the universe" when it goes wrong. It's a silly expectation.

BlueCat, in your case I think you're being strung along and best if you willed yourself to give this bloke up. He doesn't sound at all secure. If he's in passion about you he's still hedging his bets with an existing partner. Let him go, find someone you enjoy being with, become friends and then if the future looks bright, think about commitment and the longer term.

A last point if you'll excuse me commenting on your figure of speech. A 360 degree change of heart. 360° is full circle so you're back where you started. I think you meant 180°, diametrically opposite from the point you're at.

All good wishes in solving this dilemma.

[Angel44]

You cannot use your carnal mind to grasp spiritual concepts....you can't use the unreal to know the REAL. #TRUTH

[BlueCat]

Thank you for all your replies!!
@57tcjc75, well i'm not really greiving atm because i did it a long time ago, now it's more asking the universe to get along with a new connection because i know it's better to try it and if it works good otherwise i could have a new friend at least. I cannot lose this occasion now i have finally some choice! Thank you to share your story as well :).
@Lorelyen, usually i don't really agree in some things you say in this forum but this time i think for many things you are right, except for some things about TF and stuff, but i don't want to force you to believe in TFs or other stuff you don't want . TF or not, most of this kind of connections aren't with people that are perfect, most of the time have lots of ego, issues to work out, they are human with their faults after all and less divine in a sense. For this, most of the time won't work or just work in some things other not, etc... until both are ready and uncommited to X or Y person, they arent ready at all if the connection is romantic. I can't wait eternally to TF to reach this state, even when single most TF are really stubborn and follow unhealthy patterns from what i have seen, unless they have done some work. Lol sorry yes i meant 180° degrees, idk why i said that well !
@M.Tesla, really? I don't think i really hate myself lately, it's going really good (not TF related) and i'm way less sad, depressed and feeling stronger. The hate or whatever feeling is more like reviewing the connection (especially the bad sides) to move on.
@Angel44, i don't really get what you mean sorry, could you please explain it better ?

Originally Posted by BlueCat

Thank you for all your replies!
.............
@Lorelyen, usually i don't really agree in some things you say in this forum but this time i think for many things you are right, except for some things about TF and stuff, but i don't want to force you to believe in TFs or other stuff you don't want .

Part of the problem is that the goalposts keep changing. I traced it back to the Theosophists' / Blavatsky's original pronouncements but the ideas / theories / rules keep changing, usually to take in a wider sweep of one-on-one partners. (You can sell more books the more populist you make them!) It now looks like any couple can call / persuade themselves that they're twin flames simply because they're attracted to each other. That's fine by me, if that's the way it's meant to be. Everyone in a one-to-one is special to each other - for a time, anyway.

So the question becomes arbitrary.

Going along the more traditional lines, it would seem that a genuine twin flame has to believe in very close on the doctrine followed by the other - or at least be open to persuading to that belief.

I don't think twin flames are impossible - just that the real ones are quite rare. If I may borrow your words, I'm sitting on the fence with this. I have no twin flame for which I'm thankful!!! all the hassle - but others are entitled to their beliefs!

[M.Tesla]

Originally Posted by Lorelyen

Part of the problem is that the goalposts keep changing. I traced it back to the Theosophists' / Blavatsky's original pronouncements but the ideas / theories / rules keep changing, usually to take in a wider sweep of one-on-one partners. (You can sell more books the more populist you make them!) It now looks like any couple can call / persuade themselves that they're twin flames simply because they're attracted to each other. That's fine by me, if that's the way it's meant to be. Everyone in a one-to-one is special to each other - for a time, anyway.

So the question becomes arbitrary.

Going along the more traditional lines, it would seem that a genuine twin flame has to believe in very close on the doctrine followed by the other - or at least be open to persuading to that belief.

I don't think twin flames are impossible - just that the real ones are quite rare. If I may borrow your words, I'm sitting on the fence with this. I have no twin flame for which I'm thankful!!! all the hassle - but others are entitled to their beliefs!

I have tondisagree about the ever-changing rules. There is a couole rules. Love god. Love yourself. Love your significant other.

Love- respect, honor their choices, whatever

Originally Posted by M.Tesla

I have tondisagree about the ever-changing rules. There is a couole rules. Love god. Love yourself. Love your significant other.

Love- respect, honor their choices, whatever

Those don't necessarily make twin flames.

There are many millions of older couples in the world who've spent their lives together to become happily inseparable and as as-one. Whether they love God or not isn't my business but - they'd never think of themselves as twin flames.

Problem comes when you use a construct like "love". Every person in the world has their own idea about what love should be / is etc. So one person's love may not be that of another. Best to be more specific. I often hear this "love yourself" thing but can't work out what it means. I'm at peace with my modus operandi; I appreciate what I know of my Self (though don't pretend to know it in entirety) and hope that's good enough!