Feeling embarrassed

[H:O:R:A:C:E]

embarrassment could be the (non-)motivating factor for bashful people.
i figure that it's generally a better strategy (for spiritual development)
to go ahead and act while risking embarrassment rather than to withdraw
from participating in life.

[Master Sun]

Embarrassments is in the ways of life to some. My friend tends to embarrass his wife all the times to prove that she is wrong in hoping she will change for better.

[Baile]

Originally Posted by Master Sun

Embarrassments is in the ways of life to some. My friend tends to embarrass his wife all the times to prove that she is wrong in hoping she will change for better.

Why would she need to change for the better? He needs to change and become better; become a more thoughtful and caring person. Because what he is doing is wrong and dishonest. What he's doing is called projection: projecting onto others what we ourselves have a problem with.

[Green Tree]

Originally Posted by shiningstars

I feel embarrassed sometimes and it comes up quite strongly "That was so embarrassing!"

Does anyone have any advice or experience of this?

Hello shiningstars

I'm rarely embarrassed. I've always had a pretty thick skin, but there have been times when I felt like the opinions of others were some measure of my own personal value (good or bad), and thus allowed myself to get carried off into shame, guilt, pride, etc.

I learned a mantra that helped me to completely overcome any measure of dependency upon the opinions of others - it goes like this...

"I am independent of the positive and negative opinions of others." (repeated throughout the day, consecutively for 30-90 days).

Being independent of the negative opinions of others is good because who needs the negativity, right? However, the truly powerful part of this is the part about being independent of the positive opinions of others.

To be independent of the positive opinions of others is to find your own power. YOU are the source of your own worth. True, it feels good to get positive feedback (positive opinions) from others, but it's important to be INDEPENDENT of those opinions and feedback, in other words - to not NEED them for self definition.

I still repeat the mantra on rare occasions when I seek approval outside myself, or when I allow outside negativity to affect me.

I'm not sure if what I've written here will apply to your embarrassment, but it will definitely aid you in discovering why and where, or if your seeking of outside opinions to define you. If so, you may discover that your perceptions about what others may be thinking of you don't matter at all, and your embarrassment may completely disappear.

Conversely, you may be judging yourself too critically, in which case using the mantra will help you to focus your own opinion of yourself into a gentler and more confident voice, thus ridding you of shame, guilt, pride, embarrassment, etc.

Best wishes

GT

[shiningstars]

Originally Posted by Green Tree

Hello shiningstars

I'm rarely embarrassed. I've always had a pretty thick skin, but there have been times when I felt like the opinions of others were some measure of my own personal value (good or bad), and thus allowed myself to get carried off into shame, guilt, pride, etc.

I learned a mantra that helped me to completely overcome any measure of dependency upon the opinions of others - it goes like this...

"I am independent of the positive and negative opinions of others." (repeated throughout the day, consecutively for 30-90 days).

Being independent of the negative opinions of others is good because who needs the negativity, right? However, the truly powerful part of this is the part about being independent of the positive opinions of others.

To be independent of the positive opinions of others is to find your own power. YOU are the source of your own worth. True, it feels good to get positive feedback (positive opinions) from others, but it's important to be INDEPENDENT of those opinions and feedback, in other words - to not NEED them for self definition.

I still repeat the mantra on rare occasions when I seek approval outside myself, or when I allow outside negativity to affect me.

I'm not sure if what I've written here will apply to your embarrassment, but it will definitely aid you in discovering why and where, or if your seeking of outside opinions to define you. If so, you may discover that your perceptions about what others may be thinking of you don't matter at all, and your embarrassment may completely disappear.

Conversely, you may be judging yourself too critically, in which case using the mantra will help you to focus your own opinion of yourself into a gentler and more confident voice, thus ridding you of shame, guilt, pride, embarrassment, etc.

Best wishes

GT

Beautiful! Thanks for this kindness, Green Tree

[shiningstars]

Originally Posted by Baile

Why would she need to change for the better? He needs to change and become better; become a more thoughtful and caring person. Because what he is doing is wrong and dishonest. What he's doing is called projection: projecting onto others what we ourselves have a problem with.

Agreed, a flower that blossoms under love is so special and fragrant and may we all be so blessed to encounter True Love.

[Joyce]

All good advice. Shiningstar, remember: "Those that mind, don't matter. And those that matter don't mind." It helps to internalize this simple statement!!

[shiningstars]

Thanks Joyce

[Joyce]

Originally Posted by Baile

Why would she need to change for the better? He needs to change and become better; become a more thoughtful and caring person. Because what he is doing is wrong and dishonest. What he's doing is called projection: projecting onto others what we ourselves have a problem with.

Right on again Baile; my opinion of course. What's done by the friend of the original thread person (sorry) IS the issue the friend sees in their~self.

[shiningstars]

Originally Posted by Joyce

Right on again Baile; my opinion of course. What's done by the friend of the original thread person (sorry) IS the issue the friend sees in their~self.

Joyce,

Can you clarify this further? Enjoying all your posts, by the way.

shiningstars