anyone else have numbness as part of dark night of the soul/TF journey

Hi, just curious. Anyone out there also have numbness as part of their "dark night of the soul"/ in their twin flame journey? By this I mean you're not connected with the world, nothing seems to matter, hard to derive pleasure from things, feeling "flat" etc. Maybe someone has a better way of explaining it. Anyway, has anyone experienced this in their journey? I find it a bit interesting (easy to say now that I'm mostly out of that phase) and was wondering if anyone has been able to come up with an explanation as to why this happens. I think its an interesting phenomenon, maybe to do with energetics between twins or something? By the way, the numbness I'm talking about doesn't refer to feeling of nothing mattering because nothing has worked although I am also interested in hearing about this too as I have also experienced this. This numbness that I am asking about specifically seems to come out of nowhere and for seemingly no reason.

Thanks, and looking forward to reading your responses :)

[A human Being]

Oh yeah I've experienced the numbness and disconnection on a few occasions, though I've never given much thought up until now as to exactly why it happens. In my own experience it seems to happen after I've been wrestling with a painful emotion for a while, it's like it gets to a certain point and I can't do it any more - I've become exhausted and so I unconsciously shut down, hence the numbness. I'm thinking maybe it's a self-protective thing, as though you have to shut down or you'll just become overwhelmed?

It's funny because you'd think numbness would be preferable to horrendous inner turmoil, but when I feel numb I find myself thinking that I'd rather be experiencing the turmoil than nothing at all (could be a case of, 'The grass is always greener on the other side', mind - Gawd knows being in turmoil is no fun at all!). Though really it's not that I'm feeling nothing, I don't think, I think it's more the case that I've simply become dissociated, desensitised to my own inner state. So the solution, as I see it, is to simply become more attentive and sensitive to what I am actually feeling (and typically what I'll find is inner resistance, which manifests as tension in the body). I find that simply directing attention into my body and sitting physically still and relaxed is an extremely useful practice when I'm experiencing numbness, as it helps me to become more sensitive to what's happening in terms of my felt experience in the moment.

Originally Posted by A human Being

Oh yeah I've experienced the numbness and disconnection on a few occasions, though I've never given much thought up until now as to exactly why it happens. In my own experience it seems to happen after I've been wrestling with a painful emotion for a while, it's like it gets to a certain point and I can't do it any more - I've become exhausted and so I unconsciously shut down, hence the numbness. I'm thinking maybe it's a self-protective thing, as though you have to shut down or you'll just become overwhelmed?

It's funny because you'd think numbness would be preferable to horrendous inner turmoil, but when I feel numb I find myself thinking that I'd rather be experiencing the turmoil than nothing at all (could be a case of, 'The grass is always greener on the other side', mind - Gawd knows being in turmoil is no fun at all!). Though really it's not that I'm feeling nothing, I don't think, I think it's more the case that I've simply become dissociated, desensitised to my own inner state. So the solution, as I see it, is to simply become more attentive and sensitive to what I am actually feeling (and typically what I'll find is inner resistance, which manifests as tension in the body). I find that simply directing attention into my body and sitting physically still and relaxed is an extremely useful practice when I'm experiencing numbness, as it helps me to become more sensitive to what's happening in terms of my felt experience in the moment.

I agree with wanting to feel turmoil rather than numbness. I don't think its a case of the grass being greener on the other side -- being numb is painful in a different and, in my opinion, worse way.

[A human Being]

Originally Posted by traceyacey12

I agree with wanting to feel turmoil rather than numbness. I don't think its a case of the grass being greener on the other side -- being numb is painful in a different and, in my opinion, worse way.

Mm, I do know what you mean... I find that just below the surface of the numbness there's very often a distant, dull sort of despair and hopelessness that can initially be quite hard to detect, and maybe we go numb in an unconscious attempt to avoid feeling those feelings - or at least, such has been my experience. Seems to me that going numb is an unconscious avoidance strategy (maybe it's even necessary up to a point, too, as a self-protective measure), and in truth the inner turmoil is never far away - if we're willing to actually feel it.

Originally Posted by A human Being

Mm, I do know what you mean... I find that just below the surface of the numbness there's very often a distant, dull sort of despair and hopelessness that can initially be quite hard to detect, and maybe we go numb in an unconscious attempt to avoid feeling those feelings - or at least, such has been my experience. Seems to me that going numb is an unconscious avoidance strategy (maybe it's even necessary up to a point, too, as a self-protective measure), and in truth the inner turmoil is never far away - if we're willing to actually feel it.

hm, self-protective strategy... that's a good way of thinking of it

[Bornonthecusp]

I agree with what everybody else has said on the matter, i see the numbness as a coping strategy, to deal with the pain and hopelessness of whatever situation is feeling most painful or hopeless at the time. It's an odd feeling, i found myself not feeling quite like myself, almost sociopathic i thought. I couldn't enjoy anything, things i knew i get pleasure from. It actually took drugs, alcohol and meeting a fellow spiritual person to get me back in touch with my feelings again. I'm glad to say i'm out of it and can enjoy the X files once more haha.

I do wonder if it's maybe not a numbness but a detaching from things instead? Maybe having less of a need for external or just seeing things for what they ultimately are... meaningless?

Originally Posted by Bornonthecusp

I do wonder if it's maybe not a numbness but a detaching from things instead? Maybe having less of a need for external or just seeing things for what they ultimately are... meaningless?

what's the difference between the two?

[Bornonthecusp]

Originally Posted by traceyacey12

what's the difference between the two?

That's a good question, i think for me, i've always seen numbness as a sort of denying of what it. A way to not feel whatever is going whereas the detaching, is like a letting go through a lack of need to be attached to anything. That's the best way i can put it right now.

[mystical]

I do wonder if it's maybe not a numbness but a detaching from things instead? Maybe having less of a need for external or just seeing things for what they ultimately are... meaningless?[/quote]
completely agree . i find when im in deep pain or am triggered . i pour out completely .. but then i find that suddenly i feel clearer and i wouldnt say i numb . it certainly feels that way i think its becuase ive emptied it out . the body is like a chalice we fill up until we spill out . we can take any more . once we have purged enough we find space for more . we see things differently . just got to keep balanced . i fill very quickly though lol. doesnt help me being a water sign lol. i constantly filling and purging

[Bornonthecusp]

I meant a denying of what is btw, y'all! And yeah, that chalice metaphor is a really good way to think about it, perhaps it is an emptying of old stuff making way for new as opposed to just being empty for no reason. There's always a reason isn't there... I like that, thank you Mystical.