Awakened but confused...

[Crowzie]

I recently experienced a breakup with my childhood sweetheart. She’s been in my life for almost 19 years. My heart is broken. I can live with that pain. Breaking up made me realize that the love I feel for her can never die. I don’t need a relationship with her to know what I feel is unconditional, and without ego. I don’t understand any of it. Of course it doesn’t matter now. I’m just trying to grieve for the relationship by putting the pieces together retroactively.

The moment I saw her... I took notice of her. That memory is still vivid. I know the exact spot where I saw her too. The feeling I felt was inexplicable. I was drawn to her without any reasonable explanation. We soon became friends instantly. Nothing could separate us. Throughout elementary school, we acted like an “old married couple”. Everyone was aware of the energy between us. Somehow, we couldn’t stop emotionally prodding each other. Despite the nonsense, we became closer, and closer over time.

High school came around. We fell in love and began dating. Needless to say, it didn’t work out. I was emotionally crippled. I couldn’t go to school because she was there. It physically hurt. My body ached for her. I couldn’t find any catharsis either. Even though we stopped talking, we were never apart. I felt her around me.

A few years past after that, and somehow we fell into it again. It was good for awhile. Until we started seeing our shadow sides. It was a constant fight with her. We’d constantly trigger the worst in one another. It was a never ending emotional dredge fest. We constantly mirrored the worst in each another. Neither of us could accept one another, or ourselves. So, we broke up about a week ago.

Looking back, I’d never loved anyone so deeply before. She’s the only person that I’ve went through this much for. I know that that feeling is reciprocated too. We see through each other. We’re spiritually bonded. It’s also impossible to not feel visceral things for her either. I look into her eyes and feel like I’m safe. She’s like home to me. Nobody can take that way from me. I know that if I truly need her, she’ll be there for me. It’s terrifying because she knows me better than I know myself.

It was only recently that I became curious about twin flames. A lot of what is written about them is surreal. It makes too much sense. She feels like she could be my twin, but I’m not sure.

I’m not longing for her to be in my life. I want her to be happy. I know that we both have way too much growing to do before we even can be friends. I just want the ability to integrate everything she’s taught me into my life. I’m finally ready to be the actualized person I know she sees...it’s time I get to know that person as well.

Could she be my twin flame? Am I crazy?

[Universal.Vibe]

Originally Posted by Crowzie

Breaking up made me realize that the love I feel for her can never die. I don’t need a relationship with her to know what I feel is unconditional, and without ego.

Don't lose that feeling, just let her be herself.
In the meantime be your self too, find somebody new.
I know its cliché but if you love somebody set them free.
Forget the whole twinflame thing trust me on this.

[happyhaunts03]

Originally Posted by Universal.Vibe

Don't lose that feeling, just let her be herself.
In the meantime be your self too, find somebody new.
I know its cliché but if you love somebody set them free.
Forget the whole twinflame thing trust me on this.

I echo this advice. I don't think you have to necessarily forget the twin flame idea, but keep in mind that TFs aren't necessarily there to be your end all be all relationship. 3D relationships don't have to mimic 5D. And honestly, you may be meant to share your deeper understanding of love with someone else now that you are aware of how it can be.

[travelingwithin]

Life is like a book and you are the writer. The time you spent with her was written with golden ink and it covered many of those empty pages. Now it's the time to close the chapter and start a new one. Trust me, many more amazing things are to be discovered ahead.

[Crowzie]

Thank you for all of the kind advice. I know I have to let her go. Truthfully, I've learned a lot about love after my experiences with her. I'm grateful for the opportunity to be exposed by such unconditional love. I look forward to the day I meet someone I can share this love with.